If someone in your extended family called you and asked for large sum of money however their track record was not really good about returning money. Would you lend them money if you had it in your savings and you can comfortably do without?
Would you think that they would pay it back?
Would you hold a grudge if they didn’t?
Would you just give and forget that it won’t come back to you.
Would you lie that you didn’t have it. (it would be clear lie).
Would you be direct and say that you don’t trust them to return the money?
Would you give a smaller sum that you can live without that you wouldn’t mind that they didn’t return.
depends what that large sum is. if i realize that this person is 'using' me then i'll tactfully decline. there is a famous saying in Urdu..."udhaar moHabbat kii qaiNchii hai" and it's true...If the person has a bad track-record as you outlined, you not only kiss good bye to your hard earned money but you also loose that person. if i, for any reason, have to lend money [due to social pressures], i'll have at least 2 witnesses and have the transaction in writing. it's also the Islamic way of doing monetary transactions. if he does NOT return the money, i will have a fair chance to take him to court...it's ONLY fair!
just simple answer of your question, whenever you give money to anyone it should be given in a way that it will not going to be return to you. now, do some calculation and estimate your limit which will not going to make you unhappy in case your friend/relative/anyone refuse to repay you.
Sometimes It is not possible or ethical to refuse to such demands . So in my view it is better,If you can afford ,simply ,politely and tactfully refuse.
If you cannot refuse ,check your limits in case he does not pay back or expected to pay too much late.
But remember there may a time when you would be needing money for say any reason.
More than the lending it is the refusal-yearsnlater- to acknowledge that money was received that nearly destroyed a relationship. But that has not affected my view that if one can help then don't sweat it.
if the person needs the money really badly, i would lend it to him if it wont affect me greatly. even if he doesnt return it. Allah will reward me for it and the person will make prayer for me too.
Having been put in that spot by someone who's notorious for borrowing and NEVER returning money, I knew if I lent the money, I'd never see it again. I considered whether I could afford to just give them the money, but then it actually made me sad/angry that this person always lives outside of their means and then expects others to make up the shortfall.
I didn't ultimately end up lending them the money because of their habit of living outside of their means and them causing the issue of not being able to pay for necessities. To lend/give them the money felt like I would be enabling their bad spending habits.
If someone had a genuine need for money, I'd lend it to them, heck, I'd give it to them. But yes, giving money to someone depends on the who and the why.
[QUOTE]
If someone had a genuine need for money...
[/QUOTE]
I think most people think their own need for money is genuine. I mean the folks that want to borrow money people have it rough but the choices in their life that have made has made life a bit rougher for them.
Lets say if they don't return the money and most likely they won't and you see them around family gathering and occasions - doesn't that put a strain on the relationship?
Would you be able to get past it and have a conversation where both of you are not thinking about the lent money.
If someone in your extended family called you and asked for large sum of money however their track record was not really good about returning money. Would you lend them money if you had it in your savings and you can comfortably do without?
Would you think that they would pay it back?
Would you hold a grudge if they didn't?
Would you just give and forget that it won't come back to you.
Would you lie that you didn't have it. (it would be clear lie).
Would you be direct and say that you don't trust them to return the money?
Would you give a smaller sum that you can live without that you wouldn't mind that they didn't return.
If thier track record is not very good then I would twist the truth and tell something to get out of that.
i've observed that some people are professional/habitual borrowers with no intention of returning the money. so, lending money to them is like emboldening them...this will make them more 'be-sharm' and he/she will victimize more people. the lender must STOP this practice of such people because it's in your hand. just tactfully decline his/her request. Good Luck to friendly money lenders! :)
however their track record was not really good about returning money.
The above tells that the person is not responsible with managing their finances and has an expectation that others will bail them out when they ask for money.
Would you lend them money if you had it in your savings and you can comfortably do without?
No. There's is a reason I keep money in my SAVINGS. What am I going to do when an emergency happens with me or my husband? Ask others to bail me out like this person?
As for the reason I give them....I honestly don't feel any need to given someone a "reason" for not giving them my hard-earned money. Especially if that person has borrowed money before and not paid it back. I would simply tell them that I sympathize with their situation but unfortunately, right now I'm not in a position to lend any money. End of discussion.
As the saying goes.....fool me once, shame you you. Fool me twice...shame on ME. If someone has previously borrowed money from me and not paid it back....it would me stupid on MY part to trust their word ever again.
** Now if this is a true emergency that they shared with me, then yes, I would make an exception. Some examples of true emergencies: they have children and are about to be thrown out of their house for lack of rent or having their water/electricity cut off. Or a true medical emergency. Even in these cases, I would insist on writing the checks directly to the people the money is owed to (ie. hospital, land lord etc.).
I would do what paheli said. We actually have family members who spend way beyond their means and their bad spending habits mean that they are constantly in a jam. They have had some tough times but some decisions have been wrong on their part.
We sent for them money but to the elders and told them to give them for essentials only and a little bit at a time.
** Now if this is a true emergency that they shared with me, then yes, I would make an exception. Some examples of true emergencies: they have children and are about to be thrown out of their house for lack of rent or having their water/electricity cut off. Or a true medical emergency. Even in these cases, I would insist on writing the checks directly to the people the money is owed to (ie. hospital, land lord etc.).
So you pay their rent this month and save them from eviction, don't you think the next month's rent would be due soon afterwards ?