BBC News - China’s ‘leftover women’, unmarried at 27
So the question comes about that if you are in your late 20s or 30s and are single. Is it a choice or an imposition? A good many in the West are happy being single and are in relationships based on their needs and requirements. Does the same apply to South Asia?
Re: Left over women
Polygamy is not a bad practice , as west portrays it . And no I don't think so its that easy in South Asian cultures to practice adultery so openly .
Re: Left over women
I’m surprised that Japan is higher than the U.S. in that graph. 
Re: Left over women
I don't but i was reflecting on these words "left over-women". To be honest..this sounds very offensive!. If someone said, "Lef-over Men". I would be very offended. Anyway, perhaps, un-married women would have been suffice to use in this article. And as for article, i couldn't agree more. Women are far more educated then men nowadays. Consistency in terms of education is leaning more toward women folk more than Men. At least this true in Western Societies Anyway, i hope everyone find partner..regardless of Gender, Race, Religion or Society..so we don't fall into social dis-order completely.
I would like to quote certain points which i personally find it "interesting".
"Meanwhile, the state-run media keep up a barrage of messages aimed at just this sort of "picky" educated woman.**
"Pretty girls do not need a lot of education to marry into a rich and powerful family. But girls with an average or ugly appearance will find it difficult," reads an excerpt from an article titled, Leftover Women Do Not Deserve Our Sympathy, posted on the website of the All-China Federation of Women in March 2011.
It continues: "These girls hope to further their education in order to increase their competitiveness. The tragedy is, they don't realise that as women age, they are worth less and less. So by the time they get their MA or PhD, they are already old - like yellowed pearls."
Ouch.**
""Living alone, I can do whatever I like. I can hang out with my good friends whenever I like," she says. "I love my job, and I can do a lot of stuff all by myself - like reading, like going to theatres.**
"I have many single friends around me, so we can spend a lot of time together."
Sure, she says, during a hurried lunch break, her parents would like her to find someone, and she has gone on a few blind dates, for their sake. But, she says, they've been a "disaster".
"I didn't do these things because I wanted to, but because my parents wanted it, and I wanted them to stop worrying. But I don't believe in the blind dates. How can you get to know a person in this way?"
Elissa says she'd love to meet the right man, but it will happen when it happens. Meanwhile, life is good - and she has to get back to work."**
Re: Left over women
This is a big deal in China. Cheeni doll as queer likes to call her, had the same problem. One year younger than me but her parents freaking out like crazy. They eventually set her up with a statistician in new York. Good for her, but I can tell you the discrimination in their culture against older girls who aren't married cuz of education in career is HUGE. Bigger than with us even.
Re: Left over women
By the way, I don't understand why this topic is so frequently discussed here. In my private life, I have never been made to feel guilty about going for a time consuming career. I come here and the desi bari b population has to keep showing girls like us to be bad moms and wives, not worthy of marriage. I hope it's just a GS thing and that desis are actually more sensible than this.
Re: Left over women
^ Kum bola karo, bari bi.
Re: Left over women
There is no such thing as 'leftover women'. Keeping in mind the gender statistics in most countries we actually have a problem with excess men, a problem which is not isolated to India and China. Women have a choice to work, marry or remain single. Many women are happy leading single, professional and independent lives. Especially in the West. And no, not all fall prey to fornication.
I think it is due to social stigma and the way men are raised to want an 'ideal' wife, ideal of course in this case being open to interpretation and varies from region to region.
There are plenty of men around for these women. All that needs to change is the mindset of most men from most cultures. So they drop their shallow fantasy of a beautiful, young, slim girl and live the reality of life as it is.
And there are more men than women in most countries of the world including China, in all age groups except the over 60s age group, so there are more than enough men for these women to marry. All that needs to change is the mindset of men when it comes to expectations of a wife and getting 'knocked on' by reality.
And had it not been for the social stigma, family pressure and economic impasse many women from South Asia would not be dying for a husband either.
Re: Left over women
Polygamy is not a bad practice , as west portrays it . And no I don't think so its that easy in South Asian cultures to practice adultery so openly .
I don't want to go onto this topic but since you have mentioned such a nonsensical solution I think I should knock in some sense here.
Another instance of a polygamy defender. I am getting sick of them. They are wasting their lives defending a shameless practise of lust which Islam actually restricted as people practised unlimited polygyny before the advent of Islam with the recommendation being to marry one wife and we have an example of how our Prophet chose devoted monogamy in a lustful polygamous society.
And what does the West have to do with polygamy? It itself practises it. Muslims are the most monogamous people on the world. Few have affairs and very few have more than one wife.Introducing polygamy to us, a monogamous society, just looks sickening
And there is no surplus of women which necessitates this practise. In fact, if anything, we have a surplus of men in Pakistan and most other countries of the world, especially Muslim countries. In Saudi Arabia for instance there are 112 men for every 100 women (keep in mind there are more women above the age of 60 than men) and in countries like Morocco and Iraq women only outnumber men because there are more women in the older age groups.
In North Africa we have a crisis where there are young men who can not find themselves a woman. Similar problems exist in Aceh,Indonesia. Its time we encourage cross cultural marriages which are allowed in Islam
There is no problem with the present marriage market except for the mentality of many men who expect a hot young bride. Even if they are old and ugly themselves.
Its a shame very few Muslim men actually 'want' to follow the Prophet's example when he was 25 and married a 40 year old lady and stayed committed to her for the entire duration of their marriage. This was our Prophet's most beloved wife and loving, successful marriage.
It tells you that happy and successful marriages between young men and older women are more than perfectly possible. If only men did this.
Re: Left over women
what do you mean, you're surprised lol.
Japan like other countries are struggling with the decline in population. People just don't want to get married anymore
and well China
According to many of my chinese male friends who live in China they don't want to marry Chinese women there because they are all gold diggers.
In fact a lot of women are being very picky and unreasonable when it comes to salary and education. Oriental women are definitely not docile as people outside may consider them.
The women control the finances in the household not men.
Re: Left over women
What a rubbish . First make sure you spell stuff right and second if you give examples then back it with some reference .
Sorry your hormonal anger won't work here . Better talk sense .
I don't want to go onto this topic but since you have mentioned such a nonsensical solution I think I should knock in some sense here.
Another instance of a polygamy defender. I am getting sick of them. They are wasting their lives defending a shameless practise of lust which Islam actually restricted as people practised unlimited polygyny before the advent of Islam with the recommendation being to marry one wife and we have an example of how our Prophet chose devoted monogamy in a lustful polygamous society.
And what does the West have to do with polygamy? It itself practises it. Muslims are the most monogamous people on the world. Few have affairs and very few have more than one wife.Introducing polygamy to us, a monogamous society, just looks sickening
And there is no surplus of women which necessitates this practise. In fact, if anything, we have a surplus of men in Pakistan and most other countries of the world, especially Muslim countries. In Saudi Arabia for instance there are 112 men for every 100 women (keep in mind there are more women above the age of 60 than men) and in countries like Morocco and Iraq women only outnumber men because there are more women in the older age groups.
In North Africa we have a crisis where there are young men who can not find themselves a woman. Similar problems exist in Aceh,Indonesia. Its time we encourage cross cultural marriages which are allowed in Islam
There is no problem with the present marriage market except for the mentality of many men who expect a hot young bride. Even if they are old and ugly themselves.
Its a shame very few Muslim men actually 'want' to follow the Prophet's example when he was 25 and married a 40 year old lady and stayed committed to her for the entire duration of their marriage. This was our Prophet's most beloved wife and loving, successful marriage.
It tells you that happy and successful marriages between young men and older women are more than perfectly possible. If only men did this.
Re: Left over women
That's not rubbish, sound argument in fact
Re: Left over women
I don't want to go onto this topic but since you have mentioned such a nonsensical solution I think I should knock in some sense here.
Another instance of a polygamy defender. I am getting sick of them. They are wasting their lives defending a shameless practise of lust which Islam actually restricted as people practised unlimited polygyny before the advent of Islam with the recommendation being to marry one wife and we have an example of how our Prophet chose devoted monogamy in a lustful polygamous society.
Islamically it IS allowed. How are the people who are defending it wasting their lives anymore than you when you're trying to oppose it?
[quote]
And what does the West have to do with polygamy? It itself practises it. Muslims are the most monogamous people on the world. Few have affairs and very few have more than one wife.Introducing polygamy to us, a monogamous society, just looks sickening
[/quote]
How so? When it comes to marriages most people will stick to one at a time. If you're saying that on the basis that people might have multiple partners regardless of marital status, sure.
[quote]
And there is no surplus of women which necessitates this practise. In fact, if anything, we have a surplus of men in Pakistan and most other countries of the world, especially Muslim countries. In Saudi Arabia for instance there are 112 men for every 100 women (keep in mind there are more women above the age of 60 than men) and in countries like Morocco and Iraq women only outnumber men because there are more women in the older age groups.
In North Africa we have a crisis where there are young men who can not find themselves a woman. Similar problems exist in Aceh,Indonesia. Its time we encourage cross cultural marriages which are allowed in Islam
[/quote]
I'm not going to argue about the numbers and I know of several cross cultural marriages myself.
[quote]
There is no problem with the present marriage market except for the mentality of many men who expect a hot young bride. Even if they are old and ugly themselves.
[/quote]
And also perhaps the mentality of women themselves. Pretty much all the older women I know of who are still unmarried are like that due to their also being picky and unwilling to compromise. Everyone is allowed to have their own preferences. It's also about supply and demand. If young and hot women will accept old/ugly men, then why would a man not aspire for one?
[quote]
Its a shame very few Muslim men actually 'want' to follow the Prophet's example when he was 25 and married a 40 year old lady and stayed committed to her for the entire duration of their marriage. This was our Prophet's most beloved wife and loving, successful marriage.
It tells you that happy and successful marriages between young men and older women are more than perfectly possible. If only men did this.
[/QUOTE]
Well, like the opponents of polygamy are often found saying, for a man to marry an older woman is allowed, but not neither required nor recommended.
Re: Left over women
^ Captain and Namaan has put a smackdown on Insaaniyat..
X2 and co, providing discreet personal services to leftover women for over 2 decades. Call now for an application. Hurry, limited time opportunity.
Re: Left over women
Islamically it is restricted. It is not ‘‘allowed’’. The practise has nothing to do with Islam. It has as much to do with Islam as using my laptop has to with watering my flowers. Polygamy is simply a pre-Islamic human practise that Islam discouraged by recommending one wife and restricting the maximum possible wives to four. I hate it when people come on here and start promoting a practise that is discouraged in Islam. It may be ‘‘permissible’’ but it has nothing to do with Islam itself and is certainly not an ideal solution. It says in the Quran that marrying only one wife is closer in doing justice.
As for the numbers see these statistics:
GeoHive - Male / Female distribution
https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/fields/2018.html
In most countries of the world, men already outnumber women, especially under the age of 64.
So is there really any need to promote an outdated and useless practise that is discouraged by Islam and is not an Islamic practise in itself?
P.S I am a guy, not a girl. I know how guys think and the way the fellow members of my gender make up such convenient excuses to get past with fulfilling their lust disgusts me and compels me to speak out. Situations like these provide convenient channels for us men to make up excuses to fulfill our selfish desires.
Edit: The argument about the West that I was talking about was in response to Namaan’s argument that its the West’s fault that polygamy is seen badly bcoz of the West. We need to get over our ‘blame the West for everything’ syndrome.
Re: Left over women
What a rubbish . First make sure you spell stuff right and second if you give examples then back it with some reference .
Sorry your hormonal anger won't work here . Better talk sense .
Check post number 16 for references. Any grammatical mistakes are typing errors.
By the way I am a guy. Believe it or not. [Not that it makes a difference to whether you believe it or not, but I just thought I'd clear your misconception].
Re: Left over women
Oo bahi . . . why you are dragging Islam in to it when you can't produce on verse from Quran that prohibits it?
Second if somehow you are in a illusion that marriage is to balance man/woman population then its WRONG . You marry someone for emotional and physical security .
Third guys who are already married , would only joke about another marriage , but in reality only a fool would do the same mistake twice . pun intended
So reality is that practice is not bad , its just our mind in gutter that tells us that all men are horny like bunnies and they want more women .
Re: Left over women
I am not the one who dragged Islam into it. It was you who who brought this issue up and because I am a social worker in the British Muslim community, have seen the effects of polygamy on families and have often seen Islam being used by selfish men to tear apart families and I frequently see such men quoting the Quran in support of their actions or fake statistics. The Quran says that marrying one woman is nearer to doing justice. This is why the majority of scholars discourage it, especially Shafi’i and Hanafi.
2] Then why are you proposing polygamy as a solution to this crisis of leftover women? You refuse to take into account the negative consequences polygamy has on males who will have less suitable females to choose from.
3] I work in the British Pakistani community and have seen an increasingly disturbing trend of polygamy and it being abused by Muslim men. There are even some British BBC reports on this issue:
BBC News - The British Muslim men who love ‘both their wives’
So guys really do need to get rid of such lustful thoughts, which eventually do turn into actions. As long as this egoistic male mentality continues, Muslim men will only damage their reputation even more.
Re: Left over women
Quick question when you say Muslim men. Do you also include the white European Muslim converts or just the brown ones?