Did your spouse ask you to change your phone number after marriage?
Stop talking to select people?
Unfriend certain people on Facebook?
What would you do if that were being asked of you?
Re: Leaving Behind Old Relationships...
since i'm NOT married yet and my online relationship with this girl in Pakistan whom i never met wasn't known to people outside my family, your question is not applicable to me but i know one thing for sure and that is i will definitely do as my wife would ask me to do because it's her right to have me in every conceivable manner as i would want her to be mine.
fair enuf?
Leaving Behind Old Relationships…
No, no and no.
Facebook wasn’t even around back then lol. 
But if he had asked me to change my number and it was THAT important to him I guess I would 
Re: Leaving Behind Old Relationships...
Sure did. I use to run 2 message boards before I got married and there were quite a few girls there that I was friends with. She didn't like it and asked me to give it up since she doesn't believe that a man and a woman can be friends or moon bole behan bhai so I gave it up.
Re: Leaving Behind Old Relationships...
I changed my number on my own
I don't know , I just felt like it was the right thing to do. I had a lot of people from college that had my number so i went ahead and did it. Husband has never, till this date asked me to stop talking to anyone that he doesn't "approve of".
I never had facebook, so that doesnt apply to me!
Re: Leaving Behind Old Relationships…
not do it.
the only way i can stay married is if we both lead two very individual lives. but respect the relationship we have 
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So it seems people don't see any issue with it?
What about trust?
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No, never been asked to. Facebook was not a big thing back then - not here at least.
If he asked me to do it. I would probably do it for him. But I guess I would need to know why there is any such need. At the same time I guess it would probably also matter who he wants me to unfriend.
Re: Leaving Behind Old Relationships...
Did your spouse ask you to change your phone number after marriage?
Stop talking to select people?
Unfriend certain people on Facebook?
What would you do if that were being asked of you?
It doesn't have to start after marriage. Sometimes it's how engagements break when one person puts undue pressure on the other to significantly change their lifestyle and the other shows resistance.
A friend of mine was engaged to this guy, who was extremely possessive and shaki mizaaj. He would go through her phone (text messages, email accounts, facebook, etc), looking for any conversations with guys. In her facebook, she was tagged in pictures from a graduation trip. He told her to delete any picture where there was a guy in the picture with her (even though they were not standing close to each other and oftentimes it was a group shot) and de-friend any such friends who were so "aazad-khayal" as to allow such pictures for public viewing.
She was close with one guy from her university study group who was like a brother to her. He told her she can't be friends with him anymore. He also accused some of her male coworkers of trying to flirt with her and implied that she encouraged them with her behaviour/clothing, etc.
Anyhow, the engagement didn't last long.
*What would I do if that were being asked of me? *
umm I'm not sure. I am a fairly conservative person. I don't hang out with guys unless it's a group meet. At the same time, I don't think talking to guys within limits is a crime. I don't think my clothing is provocative. And I am definitely not one to go up to a random guy and strike up a conservation. So if my future significant other ever implied such a thing, it would definitely come as a surprise to me.
If his issue is, limiting interaction with guys only, that's understandable and fine, I can live with that but he better follow those rules for himself too. But if he starts putting restrictions on girls he thinks are too aawara for me to be friends with or coworkers whom I should stop interacting with, I would be uncomfortable with that.
Re: Leaving Behind Old Relationships...
No, never been asked to. Facebook was not a big thing back then - not here at least.
If he asked me to do it. I would probably do it for him. But I guess I would need to know why there is any such need. At the same time I guess it would probably also matter who he wants me to unfriend.
This is is a very valid point. My husband never asked me to defriend or stop talking to anyone after marriage, either guy or girl, because he knew he didn't have a reason to make any such request. As far as phone numbers go, my first cell phone was given to me by him anyway, after our baat pakki, so it was in his plan anyway lol.
There red is only one person who I ended a friendship with when my husband and I got engaged and that person was a mutual friend of ours with whom I had a past history (all known to him btw). He still didn't ask me to, I did on my own volition and he also discontinued his friendship with this person to make it less awkward on me.
It's all about mutual respect and comfort level. Marriage is all about compromise, and sometime you do have to do things to appease the other, evening you yourself don't see anything wrong with it. As long as the spouse isn't being overly sensitive and suspicious, and isn't asking you to completely bail on every friend and erase your whole life, I say look at the greater good.
Re: Leaving Behind Old Relationships...
since i'm NOT married yet ?
We KNOW that.
Re: Leaving Behind Old Relationships...
Did your spouse ask you to change your phone number after marriage?
Stop talking to select people? Unfriend certain people on Facebook?
No he didn't ask but my number ended up changing anyway when I got added onto this cell phone account lol. On the other hand, he has had his number since college & I have never even considered asking him to change it (and I'm quite aware that every girl he has ever dated has that number). He has never asked me to stop talking to anyone or unfriend anyone on FB.
What would you do if that were being asked of you?
Depends on why he's asking me. If he has a valid reason for asking me (one example would be if a male friend crossed the line with me) then I'd be more than happy to comply. Then again in that situation, I'd cut things off with a guy like that without being asked. But if hubby has no reason other than insecurity on his part, then we're going to have a problem. I would probably respond by asking that we should seek therapy b/c clearly our marriage isn't as strong as I thought it was.
Re: Leaving Behind Old Relationships…
Re: Leaving Behind Old Relationships...
No, we trust each other and did not feel the need of asking each other to do any of the above.
Re: Leaving Behind Old Relationships...
We KNOW that.
the, do something about it! :D
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A very good make friend of mine stopped all forms of communication with me right after he got married, deleted me from fb, never responded to calls/messages. I got married before him and my spouse had no issues with me talking to him. I lost a good friend thanks to an insecure wife.
Re: Leaving Behind Old Relationships...
I won't and won't ask her either.
Re: Leaving Behind Old Relationships...
What's left of "friendships" anyway. Biwi ko shak ho jata hai. I've seen two or three threads here from girls moaning about their husbands.
Re: Leaving Behind Old Relationships...
A very good make friend of mine stopped all forms of communication with me right after he got married, deleted me from fb, never responded to calls/messages. I got married before him and my spouse had no issues with me talking to him. I lost a good friend thanks to an insecure wife.
We were at a wedding once and the groom said while pointing to his wifes friend... im going to make sure she stops talking to her
it's very sad to see this kind of mind set.. :(
Re: Leaving Behind Old Relationships...
I don't even see why this is an issue. Seriously. It maybe the fact that 99% of my friends are normal but we all took a step back when various friends got married or in serious relationships. I have a very good friend, she and I spoke regularly. Twice a week for a few hours. Once she got a steady serious boyfriend I stopped calling her as often and so did it she. It was natural.
It was look we are friends its cool but I got someone more important in my life and that takes priority.
I have female friends who talk to me less and less since I got married and its not done with malice or mal-intent but done so because I am now married and someone else takes priority now.
The problem with you women is that you wish to be married and still act like you are single. I am sorry darlings that does not happen. You can't go talking to guys and gals like you have no other priorities. The stupidity in this thread is astounding.