Re: Leaving a girl because of mom
This is the most depressing thread i've ever read, so much so that it might just make me leave home & drive me into the arms or a gori & we'll live happily on an island for the rest of our lives.......just joking but, the way i look at it is, guy's should only get married when they become a MAN.
MAN = financially independant, responsible & willing to make HIS OWN decisions & deal with the consequences WITHOUT involving other family members, that way he can be juged on his own actions & not his mothers.
Now a man always fulfills his obligations to his mother, but that doesn't include allowing her to make decisions regarding his relationship with his wife, a mother has no rights here, niether should a man allow his wife to interfere with his relationship with his mother, a man has the duty to provide his wife with her own home, if this wasn't the case & friction begins to occur between the mother & wife then this should be provided so that both mother & wife can have some space & the man can try & settle the argument, in most cases the space would solve the problems as theyr'e mostly based on differing views/personality clashes/spending too much time together ect.
It is not the man's job to take either side as his mother will always be his mother & he has a life long commitment to his wife, it is very important for a man to stay neutral in these situations as any man know that women's nature doesn't allow them to get along the way men do (too complicated), only then can he make it work. By taking any side he is only setting himself up. The problem we have today is that men & some women take marriage less serious than they should, neither a guy or a girl should take sides in a conflict. As a man you need to gain the respect or both your mother & wife, women will always fight but if they respect the man then they will always see the benefits of solving their disputes so as to make it easier for their man, it may take time but having the respect of the women in your life allows you to solve the problems they constantly throw at you.
Fulfilling his obligations to both mother & wife along with staying impartial will guarantee this respect to a man & make life much easier.....unless either or both are insane.
The thing than all men do on a daily basis but many a time forget to do during woman on woman conflict is to** ignore** & let women be women without trying to rationalise eithers argument, believe me, arguing with women is never rational, thats why men/i never seem to win.
Unless its your wife who's making you choose between her & your mother, then leaving your wife is not an option, your marriage isn't your mothers to break, you have commited yourself to your wife, breaking that commitment because some1 told you to will mean answering to Allah later & voids your claim of being a man, because your still a mommies boy, **u aint ready to be a **man.
State your position to both your mother & wife & let them sort it out between themselves, don't let either use you as a pawn & if they can't get along, then fulfill your obligation to your wife & get your own place, there's no rule that says your mother & wife have to get along, so you have no grounds to leave your wife.
MANS LIFE IS HARD!....it's always men you hear of hanging/throwing themselves from bridges...never women, theyr'e the ones tying the nooses.
