Re: leave him??
Your husband needs to grow some testicles ASAP!!
Sorry to say, I know you've said that your husband is a good man and all, but doesn't he realize the goodness in you when you are GIVING money to his parents, and also taking care of them in almost every aspect, he needs to stand up for you before you go crazy. Sometimes you can even tolerate comments coming from ur inlaws, but the humiliation ur FIL makes you go through by watching you clean up, wth is that? He sounds like a psycho. I know about respect of parents and all, but they are not God. If ur husband thinks his parents have rights, then he damn well owes some rights to you too. He should be protecting you or at least trying to from all this crap.
I'm not suggesting you leave him/get a divorce, but seriously enough is enough. You are a working woman, and if you can give money to his parents, then you can also support yourself for a while. You can get your parents involved, or someone else who knows you and your husband really well..someone that your husband respects and listens to. You may not want to get a 3rd party involved for whatever reason, but sometimes you just have to, and I think now is the time.