Ladies

[sweefs]

Re: Ladies

no. i will SKIN him alive. me no cares about his needs or whatever the heck he wants to call his 'reasons' for wanting another wife. i will personally re-arrange her face so he won't be wanting her anymore...and THEN i shall leave.

[_WiCcA_PrInCeSs]

@PunjabiRose

Just like it is hard for men to tolerate the idea of another man in their woman’s life… its jsut as hard for me to tolerate the idea of another woman in his life. Its not just females that are driven by jealousy… it is men as well. It is HUMAN NATURE to be jealous and has nothing to do with the norms and pressures of society.

Its not just your everyday that you have to share with another woman… its the thought of sharing “a bed” with another woman. Like how can one even fathom the idea your husband being intimate with another woman??? sharing those private moments with another??? like omg ewe.

The whole “lets face it not all guys can control their urges and what if as a wife you can’t keep up with his demands” is a crap reason as well for a man to consider getting another wife. This little mentality goes back to the same “norms and pressures of society shaping one’s thinking” in my opinion. Goes back to the mentality that men are the only sexual creatures and women are there to satisfy them. Um no. Women have urges too and what… just because a man isn’t satisfying them she has the right to go look for it elsewhere??? Um hellz no. And it goes both ways. I doubt the reason why “men can have more than one wife” is allowed in islam is so that “men can satisfy their urges”. Pretty sure it had more to do with the fact that men went off to war more often during that time and there were a ton of widows and children left behind to take care off. This allowance was made to help WOMEN … not the man. And you tell me… today are men taking on second wives that are widows and divorced women with children??? Um no. They are taking second wives for their own pathetic selfish reasons.

Also the whole compulsory “make sure you treat your wives equal” … that is next to impossible. Allah made it difficult on purpose for a man to take on another wife. There is a reason behind this. It is human nature to favor one person over another. Especially in a situation like this.

It’s not about being “entitled to a perfect love story” … its about realizing and understanding that no relationship is perfect and they evolve with time. It is about compromise, understanding, and respect between the married couple.

And if he really wants to help out the world and do it a favor… I am going to say … Lets adopt some children. That is a very noble thing to do and you are truly helping another. Taking on another wife is not “helping another” in todays day and age.

I have heard many stories about men taking on another wife only for the sole reason because they want a son and their wife has only been able to provide them with daughters. That is bakwaas and a cop out.

So yea - in answer to your question: I would have no problem denying him his “right” and would get a divorce if he wanted to go ahead and do this. Its a matter of respect, understanding, and compromise that is lacking if this occurs in my opinion. And that is a recipe for a bad marriage.

Mabey back in the day women were too scared and didn’t have means to support themselves… but the zamana is different. I would have would have more self pride and self-respect for me if I supported myself than having to share a husband The same would be said for my family. They wouldn’t let me be “one of the wives” in a million years.

well said

[firenze]

@Sahar02

Nope. And I don’t believe he’s been given permission religiously.

so which Islam you are following..

[Malika12]

Over my dead body…

haha…I concur!!!

[firenze]

@Niksik

I know it’s his right but with rights come responsibilities. Now those are up to him for he is the one who will be judged.

As for me, no I will not tolerate another wife for my husband. Ummm, if you say it’s better to marry a second than to stray, well both are unacceptable. I guess if my husband decided to go for a second wife, I will consider leaving him. I do have that choice.

A lot of women “accept” it but only because they have no options. Just like a man will not tolerate his wife sleeping with another man, a woman will not either. It’s how we’ve been designed.

Isn’t this is the right of man according to Shariaah, which we wanted to implement all around the world?

Can someone explain me, if a man tell her wife, i am getting second nikkah. If she leave her over that, is this Islamicaly wrong or not. As per the religion, he didn’t do the wrong thing .. so if the first life is leaving her over this issue, it’s more like going against the law of Allah … right?

[firenze]

All of you ladies who are crying over second marriage is directly defying the Allah’s law, pray to God for forgiveness .. tobah tobah.. :aliyish:

[Sheroz]

Re: Ladies

Leave aside religion. In my opinion, a man should not be allowed to marry more than woman.

I wouldn’t like if my wife go and marry another man due to some “reasons”. If she does it then she will be divorced asap. Similarly, there is absolutely no reason why I should think about marrying another woman either.

We men would hate it if we see our wives discussing about getting married to another man. Don’t you think the same logic applies here, too? If, for whatever reasons, my wife don’t concieve then we’ll just adopt a baby. I won’t go marry another woman

I will marry one woman only and will dedicate my life to her, only her. I expect the same in return

[PyariCgudia]

Re: Ladies

By that logic are you free to look for another partner as his time for you will be cut by 50% each time he remarries?

[firenze]

@Sheroz

Leave aside religion. In my opinion, a man should not be allowed to marry more than woman.

I wouldn’t like if my wife go and marry another man due to some “reasons”. If she does it then she will be divorced asap. Similarly, there is absolutely no reason why I should think about marrying another woman either.

We men would hate it if we see our wives discussing about getting married to another man. Don’t you think the same logic applies here, too? If, for whatever reasons, my wife don’t concieve then we’ll just adopt a baby. I won’t go marry another woman

I will marry one woman only and will dedicate my life to her, only her. I expect the same in return

It’s Allah law, you like it or not !

[oreocookie]

Re: Ladies

I offered up one of my friends to him.

Why should I be the only one to suffer?

[Niksik]

@firenze

Isn’t this is the right of man according to Shariaah, which we wanted to implement all around the world?

Can someone explain me, if a man tell her wife, i am getting second nikkah. If she leave her over that, is this Islamicaly wrong or not. As per the religion, he didn’t do the wrong thing .. so if the first life is leaving her over this issue, it’s more like going against the law of Allah … right?

No, a woman has the right to take khula if she wants to in situations like this. It is not farz for her to accept her husband’s choice to marry a second wife.

And no, even though a man has the right to marry 4 times it definitely isn’t one of your goals in life . Focus on keeping one happy first

[firenze]

@Niksik

No, a woman has the right to take** khula** if she wants to in situations like this. It is not farz for her to accept her husband’s choice to marry a second wife.

no behs on Khula … lets say having Khula over second marriage.. is this Islamicaly right or wrong. To me it’s like going against the law of Allah for women, she must do saber and live with it .. their is a reward for her in heaven.. .. you know ?

And no, even though a man has the right to marry 4 times it definitely isn’t one of your goals in life . Focus on keeping one happy first

oh crap.. i feel like overwhelmed by just one, her bickering.. and crap.. even though we are not tied.. .. my life

[S02]

Re: Ladies

^Allah SWT does not require multiple marriages for Muslim men. She is not stopping him from fulfilling a farz.

[Niksik]

Re: Ladies

Why should she do sabr? Why shouldn’t the man do sabr and not marry at all …after all he’s getting a whole buncha hoors too eh?

[S02]

@firenze

so which Islam you are following..

From Surah Nisa:

3. If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your choice, two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess, that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice.

4. Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women, even if it is your ardent desire: But turn not away (from a woman) altogether, so as to leave her (as it were) hanging (in the air). If ye come to a friendly understanding, and practice self- restraint, Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful.

[firenze]

^Allah SWT does not **require multiple marriages for Muslim men. **S.

neither ALLAH stop from getting married 4 times. So if a guy wanted to marry again, the first wife have no right to cry on it, after all it's Sharriaah you know. .can't go against it.

So do saber, and throw bartan's here n their !

[firenze]

From Surah Nisa:

1. If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your choice, two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess, that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice.

2. Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women, even if it is your ardent desire: But turn not away (from a woman) altogether, so as to leave her (as it were) hanging (in the air). If ye come to a friendly understanding, and practice self- restraint, Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful.

yup you have to do justice in spending time, loving, caring, providing food/money.. betweet 1 2 or 4..

so yeh?

[Niksik]

Re: Ladies

Firenze, like I said, pehlay aap ek ko toh sambhalo phir balance kerna 3 aur ko :@:

[firenze]

@Niksik

Why should she do sabr? Why shouldn’t the man do sabr and not marry at all …after all he’s getting a whole buncha hoors too eh?

but what to do about the hoors on earth?

[Niksik]

Re: Ladies

I don’t know how those hoors want to be someone’s 2nd or 3rd or 4th