sweety, no one is fretting about the ''perfect'' rishta. any sensible person knows there is no such thing as a perfect rishta, as there is always something...SOMETHING that is not preferable or missing...
im glad everything worked out for you mashAllah. however, no offense but for some ppl getting married at age 28 is not an option as their parents start freaking out that its too late or too old, etc etc...
heres my story:
got married at 21 (already had a bachelors degree). hubby was just starting to get on his own two feet as he's a doctor and had to take USMLE steps. i worked and supported both of us with a very decent income (yes with a bachelors degree) and now that hes on his feet doing residency i am still working (by choice) and obtaining my MBA.
hence, my point is that it is not necessary to have ''Higher education" i.e masters or doctorate before marriage as long as you have a basic bachelors degree............degree koi bhaagi nahi ja rahi, its not running away from you...colleges and univ's will still be around 1 year from now, 5 years from now and so on......a GOOD rishta on the otherhand, is not ALWAYS available, so grab it while its there...
I understand where you're coming from. And I think that if a good rishta came about, the poster and her family would give it serious consideration.
But I have friends who have had the TOUGHEST time going back to school while being married. I think it's a bigger risk, Anjana. I know it worked out for you....but it doesn't turn out that way for everyone. You may get a good rishta, but you don't know a person unless you start living with them. Perhaps you'll find that your spouse is supportive.....or maybe he won't be. One of my friend's in-laws assured her parents that she will be able to complete her bachelors after marriage. Well, that didn't happen. Neither her husband or in-laws could help with that financially. Then hubby decided to go back to school himself....and that delayed the matter even further. And then she had a baby. Still hasn't finished. Thinking of having a second child.
You may think to yourself, "Okay koi baat nahin, I'll get my Masters after marriage, how hard can it be?" But it can be hard......trying to balance school and also developing a relationship with your spouse. And if you live with in-laws, it can be tougher. If pregnancies and kids come up........even more so. And the responsibilities of a marriage.....cooking, cleaning, running a house, etc. It's easier said than done.
A couple of my friends had only a few semesters left in their bachelor's degree.........and even THAT was very tough for them. In my opinion........and also in the opinion of several married people I know........it's better to get the Masters out of the way before marriage........if possible.....and if you have a strong desire to pursue higher education. When you're single.......you're living with your family (as was the case with me).............I didn't have to cook or clean to a great extent......I didn't have the responsibility of running a house. You feel more relaxed. It's not like your worrying, "Oh no....the hubby will be home, gotta cook something, better clean, better do this, better do that, yikes the in-laws are coming. Oh great, I'm not in the mood to do this....now I have to work this out with my spouse, etc etc etc." Overall......fewer responsibilities....and it allows you more freedom to concentrate on goals that are strictly your own. Your parents tend to be more flexible and understanding....if you slack of her and there with chores......or if you can't do something because you're busy typing a paper. With a spouse....there's no guarantee of that.....there could be irritation, etc etc.
NO..............it's not necessary to have a higher degree.............but I DO think that it's easier to pursue a higher degree before marriage. Less to worry about....fewer compromises.......less balancing. If the poster does not have a rishta to consider now.......if she's not interested in marriage for some time.......if she strongly desires to get her Masters.........if she NOW has the time to achieve this goal when there are fewer responsibilities.......she should go for it. Why pursue a dream at a later time when it would be more difficult. What you can do today...........don't put off till tomorrow.
