Re: Ladies, do you deny your husband??
Deny him all you want but not with the old headache excuse ladies. Be more creative say you've got a toothache or explosive diarrhea or something...
I think people need to grow out of this mentality that women are not supposed to have desires or not in the mood, or that all men are after sex and just horndogs. All it does is apply the unfair burden of morality soley on the women, while dismissing men as uncontrollable animals.
You know sara there are 2 kind of ppl smart/considerate and non considerate.
No matter, how much enforcement a non considerate person gets from religon for his ideas, his relation will suffer. I mean no matter what imam masjid tell him.
And considerate ppl will enjoy a more healthy relation.
only reason this is even an issue after only 3, 4 years of marriage (unless this question is purely out of curiosity), someone is not being 100% honest when they say "NOT TONIGHT HUNNY, I AM TIRED"...
There are several AHADEES discussing this very topic.
RC
musalman hony ka matlab yeh naheen ky hum insan na raheen!!
If my wife tells me that I will say "sure go to bed early so we can wake up early tomorrow morning" (if you know what i mean)
Hi Anjana,
Here's what I think. There has to be compromise in a marriage. Plus....sexual intimacy will be more enjoyable for BOTH partners if there is mutual reciprocation. I'm not a guy...........but I don't think that sex will be too enjoyable for a husband if his wife is not returning the excitement/emotions. If she is too tired to even "fake" reciprocation during sex.......i doubt it would be much fun for him.
I understand that there are ahadith saying that a woman should try to tend to her husband's sexual needs. But the Prophet SAWS has also emphasized that the best man is the one who is the KINDEST to his wife. Similarly.........the Prophet SAWS also said that men shouldn't approach their wives like animals for sex. There needs to be compassion and understanding in the relationship. Our religion emphasizes decency and gentleness in character. Also, in Islam things are not black and white.......or extreme.......we're advised to take the middle ground. Judgment (who is going to heaven or hell for what deed or lack thereof)...............is way toooooooo complicated. I believe that Allah knows what is in our hearts............He knows when we give situations are best efforts........and He will look at multiple factors when judging us.
Anjana.........try to reflect over why you're feeling tired. For women....sometimes a dip in iron levels can cause us to feel lethargic. So, make sure that you're eating a multivitamin and a healthy diet. If you feel that you are tired because there are so many household chores to do................then try to get your husband to help you out. If you both split up the chores..........you might have more energy to engage in physical intimancy later on. If you feel unmotivated because you have some complaints about the sexual intimacy itself.........then try gently making suggestions to switch up your routine a bit (if you're feeling bored). And compromise with him. If you feel too tired at night.........then offer him another time during the following day that would be more feasible for you. That way...........you're not rejecting him completely (so his feelings won't be hurt)............and also you're proposing an alternative solution.
Re: Ladies, do you deny your husband??
All above advices from diff users, are correct. BUT as i said in my first post, plz talk to your hubby first, and see what he has to say about it.
Re: Ladies, do you deny your husband??
i know two friends and they both say their hubbies want it almost everyday. n that does bring probs to their relation coz everyday is just not possible. n both are married for like 15 yrs now n they say its still same.their hubbies never lost their passion.one of them is maulvi type n is always jumping to re marry just coz wife cannot respect his wish for overgrown passions.now talk abt some men being sexual animals.
i mean if other wants it one should be considerate but well it shouldn't be an obligation or forced thing. The hadees however applies to men n women both that if wants it n other denies angels curse the other whole night. wallah-o-allam
Well men are not uncontrollable animals.
Quite an offensive statement Sara516... You should be ashamed of yourself and should really think before you write, especially being a MOD.
Having said that, women has to realize that this is one of the most basic needs of a human being and only spouses can help each other for this. I know this for a fact, women sometimes make this a habit and that's when the problem start.
Don't wanna judge but it seems that the only reason this is even an issue after only 3, 4 years of marriage (unless this question is purely out of curiosity), someone is not being 100% honest when they say "NOT TONIGHT HUNNY, I AM TIRED"...
There are several AHADEES discussing this very topic.
RC
Learn to read and comprehend before foaming at the mouth.
RedVelvet: Thanks so much for your mature and sound advice. i was actually WAITING for your response, as i’ve seen around GS that you give the most excellent advise on your posts. unlike MOST of the ppl who responded to me, u didnt attack me or bring me down. i was starting feel like “my goodness all u GS ppl, sorry if i have a problem im dealing with and sorry that im not perfect like all of you”…they are so judgmental!!
You redvelvet i feel are a REAL person with feelings and not faking or being rude on this forum, and for that i appreciate you.
and to reply to your post about my situation…lol, no i dont have an iron problem or anything like that. blv me its not like i want to deny him ALL the time. lets say that only 1 time out of 20 time is when i REALLY dont feel like it, u know? …so its not really a PROBLEM in my marriage…i was just wondering the religious aspects of the situation, as i really dont want to gain gunaa (sin) from a small reason like denying my hubby just because i’m feeling a little moody once in a blue moon…u know?
once again, thanks! 
There are several AHADEES discussing this very topic.
RC
would you care to enlighten us on which Ahadees you are talking about. it would really help. thx
would you care to enlighten us on which Ahadees you are talking about. it would really help. thx
ok before you explore islamic side of the issue. Get this.
There could be suggestions FOR MEN how to treat women.
There could be suggestions FOR WOMEN how to treat men.
Now in pakisat ppl enforce women's suggestion upon women. "oh you were told to do this!!!"
All you got to know is that was between U(woman) and God. God wanted u do certain things to make you life more pleasure. IT DOES-NOT not give man right to hold you accountable!!!!
Like you mum wanted to u to learn hmm how to bake a cake.. u did fine,
If U did not...hubby wont get home made cake. BUT that's about it!!!
Re: Ladies, do you deny your husband??
punching monk seriously, im confused with your post. what are u trying to say? 
Re: Ladies, do you deny your husband??
hmmmm
ok in islam
1- there are suggestions and then there are orders.
2-Men usually have tendency to impose suggestions as orders.
So if there is some saying "please your man in such and such way"
Its just like your mum telling you how to be a good wife. I don't think not following that thing(once in a while) would guarantee your stay in hell.
Re: Ladies, do you deny your husband??
ahh ok, yes u make a good point. thx for clearing that up. its certainly something to think about
Re: Ladies, do you deny your husband??
Point is Islam is beautiful and most importantly, Its helpful.
Not u know...some thing which need to shoved up... u know..
Re: Ladies, do you deny your husband??
Haven't had a chance yet but I have always wondered what it would be like lol
I think its a matter of understanding each other and being open with communication. I am sure if you explain to your husband, in a nice way he will understand. But also KNOW this, men do have strong urges, and they are often so try to make time for some lovin.
BTW question for you women who think having a strong sexual urge = uncontrolled animal, what if its the wife who wants it everyday?
Re: Ladies, do you deny your husband??
When the man is ready to unload, she better know not to say no.
On a serious note, it is a matter of understanding and somewhat common sense. I believe one could not be so aroused that he would dive right on her even if she doesnt feel like it. If he is like that, she can tackle tactfully. In some situations, a bit of foreplay could set the mood.
Ladies, this makes me wonder, when you are in the mood and he is not (please dont pass statements like he is always in the mood, he is a human and there can be times when he is not in that state of mind), what do you do?
Re: Ladies, do you deny your husband??
whats the big deal who says you can't bake a cake everyday?
Re: Ladies, do you deny your husband??
do it any ways 