Ladies and wanting attention

apple_blossom · December 3, 2010, 8:22am

Re: Ladies and wanting attention

^I would tell my guy exactly that.

That you feel stupid when he says XYZ and you do not appreciate it. Make a point to tell him that you have the right to your feelings and he MUST listen (as common sensical as that may be, it is easy to forget). He doesn’t have to agree, but ABSOLUTELY HAS to listen with respect.

It is normal to feel a little bit of stress for stirring things up a little. It is ok to feel this way (I felt that way today - haha). But imagine how unhappy you will be if you never told him what you wanted and so, NEVER got what you wanted. If you let the stress scare you, you’ll inevitably cause a thunderstorm later.

Don’t blame him. No matter how angry you are, take some time out to calm yourself, think the issue through and talk to him once you understand the problem and can talk about it intelligently, without getting swept up in emotions. Explaining your feelings works A LOT better than blaming him.

It may take a couple conversations for this to get sorted out, for him to really understand your feelings. But try to keep your calm. Get him to respect your feelings because if that doesn’t happen, things will be difficult. Talk to him to figure out why he feels resistant to the idea of connection - this is where you will find out what you can do differently to make things easier for him. Once you know what it is, tell him that you will do it and then DO IT.

hmm