Ladies and wanting attention

Lifestyle Relationships
1

Is it a common syndrome?

Im not gonna lie, im hands down one of those women who want that attention (from my SO). BUT, on the same note, for the love of God, im not the kind to point it out to him if im not getting it from him, even if its eating away at me! Mainly bc I think whichever way you choose to talk about it, it will make you sound like a desperate attention seeker. Dont we all want it without it being sought? Now that would be nice.

Now, im not talking about the running around me and after me kind of attention. Im talking about small things like some sort of continual contact throughout the day. Just the basic ‘KIT’..Which, in my case does not happen on a steady basis. I know his work is very demanding, but still :snooty:

Ladies, how important is it to you? Whats your ‘attention wanting’ syndrome like?

Guys, do you think giving that kind of attention is overrated? Too much to ask for? A burden?

2

Re: Ladies and wanting attention

And i thought only my wife is psychopath...

3

Re: Ladies and wanting attention

get yourself busy with other things.....and yes it's a common syndrome because i've seen similar threads in life 1 lots of times.

4

Re: Ladies and wanting attention

What do you mean by "KIT" ? whats that ??? another new thing in town ?

5

Re: Ladies and wanting attention

I think men are more attention seeking in real but they are just not very vocal about it. Women are stupid (emotional :p) n they let their weak points get highlighted.

6

Re: Ladies and wanting attention

Send flowers and cards to yourself and he will get the hint and learn a lesson.

7

Re: Ladies and wanting attention

How is anything she said even close to being a "psychopath"?

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Re: Ladies and wanting attention

Most of the women want attention. I wonder if its something built in? But if they are too vocal or peskyabout it, they are not doing any good. Men like to pamper and give attention but on their own will. If they dont do so or dont do it as regularly as u want, you can NEVER make them do so by fighting back. (most of they girls fight..petty, innit). I say stay calm and things will be pleasant, for urself and ur better half.

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Re: Ladies and wanting attention

Most women like attention and affection of some sort in a relationship. Men dont understand that its not just about remembering to send flowers or gifts on big occasions. If they kept a steady frequency about it, forgetting a birthday would be forgivable. But they dont so when they mess up...girls go nuts because they dont think its going to happen too often.

I want attention from my SO...

10

Re: Ladies and wanting attention

nicely said...nobody likes being 'bullied' into giving attention.. whats good in love which you can get only by asking for it?

11

Re: Ladies and wanting attention

YUp a lot of ladies demand attension .. lol ( i'm not one of them)

12

Re: Ladies and wanting attention

Yeah, i think you all have it right. Its not just the attention, its actually the affection.

Guys, you need to step it up!! Just bc some of us KNOW not to be pushy about it or fight about it, doesnt mean you that dont have to do it at all..and sadly enough guys dont realize that.

13

Re: Ladies and wanting attention

Men want something else...not attention.

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Re: Ladies and wanting attention

so guys would give attention to get 'something else?'......chi chi!

we are talking about engaged/married ladies or couples who want the attention from their SO, so the 'something else' doesnt play a part, or i hope not, unless they are married..other than that...i would have to agree, guys DO want attention, but in other ways. and im not referring to 'something else' here.

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Re: Ladies and wanting attention

Seeking "attention" makes it sound like it is something bad that we shouldn't want, like drama or something.

The way I see it, we seek "connection" with our partners. It is connection that I like. Even if we don't get to hang out for a while, if I feel connected to him, I am ok with him/us being busy.

I don't see a problem with wanting connection. It is that sense of bonding that makes difficult times easy, and keeps things from getting out of hand. You are more willing to let a lot go and be more calm when you feel connected (and loved - in the moment), it is easier to deal with disagreements when both the people feel loved and cared for.

Men don't have much of a need for connection (I get that!). But if his wife/partner is not happy and that makes her (unconsciously) willing to let fights get out of hand, he will suffer from it too.

It's like, that connection works like oil for machines. You want your machines to be well-oiled to avoid friction, right? Because if you didn't, the machines will get ruined and DIE. Connection is that oil for women to keep the relationship going smoothly (and thus very important for men too).

Obviously, once we feel loved enough, we stop needing constant connection (I don't mean clingyness). So, even if it goes down, we are perfectly ok with it. As long as we feel loved again in the near future.

When I say "we", I don't mean that EVERY, SINGLE woman who walks on the face of the Earth feels this way.

There obviously is work for women to do too: REMEMBER that he wouldn't be WITH you if he didn't love you. Every time you feel the need for connection, remind yourself of the following:

  1. Tiniest (or big) nice things he has done for you (Men-folk, you need to have done something!) OR/and
  2. Remind yourself that there are MANY people in your life that love you and care for you; including yourself. Remind yourself that you love yourself deeply (just as much as you love your guy - try to feel it too), then sit back and enjoy the magic of recognizing love all around you.

[Do I sound like an infomercial?]

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Re: Ladies and wanting attention

i think even men wouldn't hate a bit of attention from people as long as it's the good kind. i bet it's just as flattering to most men if a whole bunch of pretty girls followed them around.

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Re: Ladies and wanting attention

What chi chi?

They want laundry done, ironed clothes, clean house, hot...... meal on table.

Everything else is just a bonus. What did you think? :)

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Re: Ladies and wanting attention

hey curious lady very well explained i agree....

*Seeking "attention" makes it sound like it is something bad that we shouldn't want, like drama or something.

The way I see it, we seek "connection" with our partners. It is connection that I like. Even if we don't get to hang out for a while, if I feel connected to him, I am ok with him/us being busy.

I don't see a problem with wanting connection. It is that sense of bonding that makes difficult times easy, and keeps things from getting out of hand. You are more willing to let a lot go and be more calm when you feel connected (and loved - in the moment), it is easier to deal with disagreements when both the people feel loved and cared for.

Men don't have much of a need for connection (I get that!). But if his wife/partner is not happy and that makes her (unconsciously) willing to let fights get out of hand, he will suffer from it too.

It's like, that connection works like oil for machines. You want your machines to be well-oiled to avoid friction, right? Because if you didn't, the machines will get ruined and DIE. Connection is that oil for women to keep the relationship going smoothly (and thus very important for men too).

Obviously, once we feel loved enough, we stop needing constant connection (I don't mean clingyness). So, even if it goes down, we are perfectly ok with it. As long as we feel loved again in the near future.*

i thought i am the only psycho

maham i agree with you

I think men are more attention seeking in real but they are just not very vocal about it. Women are stupid (emotional :p) n they let their weak points get highlighted ( it happens to me) *arrrrrggghhhh *

19

Re: Ladies and wanting attention

Q: What do you get when you have two fuzzy little green balls in your hand?

A: Kermit's undivided attention.

The keyword "Attention" here reminded me of ^ that. So it is kind of relevant here.

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Re: Ladies and wanting attention

Curious Lady - Bravo! Are you a women psychologist? Very well written, you nailed it on the head. It is that bond and connection that we really seek through attention. At the end of the day its about that connection being there or not, to begin with. If its not, well, then everything else doesnt always add up the way we want. And then we are wondering why?

With guys being guys, so oblivious to this, like you mentioned they wont even realize the practical need for a connection. To guys, they will work hard initially only to get what they want (the girl), then they just mellow out. So how would the connecting/bonding actually result? I think the work comes 80% from the girl 20% from the guy.