Whoa!!! Talk about a serious case of victim identity Mehnaz. Smug married people indeed. If you think defending men automactially means dushmani against women and an attitude of pride, you seriously need to rethink some things. So sorry to disagree with you.
And sadzz, speaking of walking in other's shoes, I haven't seen a single woman here look at things from a man's perspective. Hmm lemme try and pretend I am a man. Will I want a woman who calls men losers? NO WAY!
You are right Sarah. I’m a total victim of my own making. :k: Once again, you totally missed my point altogether and did a good job of misconstruing what I posted. Nice one! :k:
Edit: I quite like the “smug married” comment. 
Of course, thankfully, most married people here aren’t like that. There are always exceptional cases though. 
Certainly, the ladies are perhaps protesting too much.
That might be for several reasons:
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Sarah Splendor: *
And sadzz, speaking of walking in other's shoes, I haven't seen a single woman here look at things from a man's perspective. Hmm lemme try and pretend I am a man. Will I want a woman who calls men losers? NO WAY!
[/QUOTE]
sarah, there is no point in discussing it with you.... u keep missing the point :) obviously a man doesnt want to be with a female who calls him a loser... but there must have been a reason for the girl to call him that in the first place... hence why would a girl want to be with him??
look, ur quite lucky u havent had to deal with stuff with the opposite gender (so im assuming since u dont/cant understand some of the things these girls are insecure bout), so lets just drop it here
Sahar, ur points were so right!!
Nescio, he did hit a nerve
if ur referring to the thread i opened ages ago, go read that again before making judgemental comments. 
u women are just insecure about how u look and what color ur skin is. dont blame it on me. and never did i say once that i wouldnt consider marrying a dark skinned girl. and maybe if u werent so insecure and not take everything those old stupid married desis say to u in ur so called gatherings n parties to ur heart, it wouldnt be such a big issue for u. the way u tok my thread in a totally wrong context just tells me how insecure all of u are. u shouldnt be, cos everyones beautiful in their own way.
Mehnaz, nice shot below the belt. but in the future, please don't attack me personally. I attacked your views, never you as a person.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Aalhan: *
**I wasn't talking about career-life. How
about doing something else, in addition to career,
maybe something creative. How about painting or sewing
or that other feminine stuff women used to do back in the day.
Seriously these threads after threads after threads about
either male-bashing or desperate cries for the absence of
men in their lives remind me of that song, "jab say hum hoay
javaN, janay kho gayeeN kahaN."
Do women realize how desperate and pathetic they sound
when all they talk about is men men and men.
And I'm sure there are tons of unmarried guys on here. Why
aren't these guys and women hooking up if they are having
trouble finding someone in real life. **
[/QUOTE]
then stop fooking reading them. Aren't YOU married? yes go make ur biwi some chai and samosa, stop reading our desperate threads...shoo
p.s. mehnaz, im lovin u like this :)
**^ Ooh below the belt...but then again that's
the only way some of you can get any attention from anyone of
the opposite gender. It's either that or flirtatious conversations
full of innuendos. Otherwise, for some of u it's extremely hard
to find anyone since you have to put out something too in order
to get something in return.
I don't remember starting the thread as saying that all
women who are unmarried are losers. I did say that all
women who have only men to talk about, and that too
only negative stuff should find somewhere else to direct
those negative energies towards. Being unmarried is not
the end of the world. Impatience and desperation is and most
often than not results very severely. It's your own selves
with the inferiority complex you have because of being
unmarried and not being able to handle it. **
why r u so obsessed with women? dont u know how desperate u sound?
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAAHAHH
first time I v seen ladies get this worked up 
and ‘trying to’ defend them selves
really nice 
For some odd reason it reminds me of kangaroos 
I m gonna keep this thread in my favs from now on.
An A1 women bashing thread 
Its in female nature to revolve around such issues.
So irregardless of culture, society, norms blah blah it's in
women's nature to beat the bush with the same stick. According
to your statement, whether or not it had been culture, society or
anything women would still have pounded on the issue because
it's in their nature. Interesting
Responding to the first attack, maybe youll find this even more interesting, if you READ the post, I said that it is female nature to revolve around the topics of romance and marriage but society is what forces it into overdrive.
And in this society it is expected that girls will eventually be married off
So it's society...
We still havent moved out of that mindset because society hasnt let us
Now it's mindset and society...
Because in this country a guy is put way up there on a pedestal and a girl is looked down upon.
Now it's the country...You seem to be hopping from one excuse to another
As for excuses, I was building you upto what leads to what. Since you so very obviously seem to be unable to make logical deductions as to why a certain thing is so. It's easy to sit on a highhorse and proclaim that 'hey so it its that way shun it. why cant u shun it.' Wake up to reality. This is exactly the sort of hypocritical hype most girls put up with. Either its be docile or its 'heyif u hate it so much by all means shun it' If things were that easy as Aalhan thinks they are, the post would have no basis of existence. Oh and there were 'becauses' and 'therefore's in the fine print when explaining how girls are forced into a particular mindset and have to remain there because of society, and how culture is such because of the unequal treatment and priority divison between males and females
Either don't complain or be willing to do
Agreed. But tell me this, do you never complain? Have you never complained abt circumstances or situations? I agree that a person should try to make do, or make better. Total and utter agreement. But can you seriously say you have never complained?
*In your process of venture you drifted to another male-bashing
issue that a person retorts to when all else has failed,
Point is that they can pick up any girl of required age at any point in their lives
Then why do women accept those older men's proposals.
If absolutely no woman married an old guy then eventually
there would be no older men wanting to marry younger girls
because there would be none wanting to marry them. *
Now how in the world can I counter such amazing logic. It's a wonder girls haven't thought before of this. But let's try. Consider the following situation:
Old 50 60+ thrice divorcee. Relatively rich. In a country like Pakistan. Third world chalo. Or even America I dont know. But since I am in Pakistan let me speak from knowledge. Wants to marry again. No educated girl ready. What does he do? Local gao(village). Family with four daughters. Struggling, living off the land. Here's someone who is marrying their daughter without dowry. Maybe even supporting the family for it. What more can they want? One less mouth to feed. Plus a bit of money coming in to fix that tractor. Bam guy gets married. Now you will say that this might not apply since the girl is uneducated. But the guy got what he wanted didn't he?
So tell her, tell her to shun culture, to shun parents, to have a backbone and not marry the old guy because if she does guys will remain secure in the knowledge that 'yeh nahi koi aur sahi, kabhi bhi'(not her than any other, anytime.)
I have no interest whatsoever in male-bashing. I just hate that people think that it is so easy to shun culture, to break shackles. Maybe you are exceptional Aalhan. Maybe you can or your sisters can or whatever. Not everyone is so lucky. And therefore this fear resides in most parents' and their daughters, that she be married off well and remain happy. All these requirements for money and backing and whatnot, they are security for a future which noone can guarantee. We ourselves cannot guarantee whether we will act in a particular way tomorrow. So parents and girls seek these reassurances which at least seem to point towards a probable success.
I can also along the
same lines raise the issue of how a girl's family are looking
for doctors or engineers only, how much money a guy has,
how much is he making, what kinda car he drives (seems to
be a humongous one), do parents live with him, does he
support siblings or contribute to paternal housing and expenses
Maybe now you can see why. Would you marry your daughter to a guy who you think has no future? How would you judge that even if he has amazing potential he won't be let down by extenuating circumstances? Won't an account of his assets be the best judge?
I don't see how you can make that statement unless you are forever bound with a bunch of girls talking abt guys twentyfour seven. It's just another topic. It's right there in the girls list of clickable topics as are cars,wrestling,girls, job, sports etc in the guys list. As for the all men are jerks statement, its just a statement. I to my knowledge have NEVER said that. But exactly this sort of attitude would probably bring it about. But its a statement. If it held any water, then these girls wouldnt marry. And since you believe all girls say this, then we dont have a issue to debate. And if you claim that the married ones think their guys are jerks and still abide by this statement, I cannot put up a further argument to such an inane conclusion.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Aalhan: *
I don't remember starting the thread as saying that all
women who are unmarried are losers. I did say that all
women who have only men to talk about, and that too
only negative stuff should find somewhere else to direct
those negative energies towards. Being unmarried is not
the end of the world. .
[/QUOTE]
Agreed. Being unmarried isn't. If that is why the thread was opened then I apologise for any offence which might have been taken. Negative energies can only turn back onto a person himself. But what people need to realise(some people) is that as time passes for an unmarried girl, the pressure builds up. It is kindof like ..a guy not finding a job after graduating, and how time is passing by with no result. I am only talking in terms of the pressure buildup..so that people can comprehend.
Um, it wasn’t directed solely at you. It was a general comment about criteria and demands. The list is endless and I am well aware that it works both ways, that plenty of women (quite frankly, many) have ridiculous shallow demands/requirements for what they look for in a man.
Thanks for the bashing though. 
Lovely as ever.
Sarah, next time someone tells me I suffer from a victim identity crises, I shall try my sincerest not to take it as a personal insult.
well i,m sure the dark skinned bit was directed at me.
masalay kam lagaya karo
go read it again and tell me where i,ve said i,m never gona consider a dark skinned girl, assumptions
and ur welcome, please come again, if u feel like another bashing, cos trust me, what i originally wrote had things like "…before u open that mouth, and get a life, and things like that. " I just happen to be not as big an arsehole as u think, thanx to ur assumptions.
kaka jee, i dont see where mehnaz made assumptions about u 
meine pehle hi kaha tha na… tsk.. and noone said u prefered fair skin girls over dark girls.. where on earth are u pulling this from? (i think from some barson purani thread)
Looks like everyone’s getting a bit cranky.
Sab ko bohot bhook lagrahi hai.
well sadzzz… i havent read that thread… but i,m pretty sure i remember her going all sick in the thread as if i,ve just committed a gunah e kabeera most of u did.
and she just gave an example saying people opened threads about how they,ll “never” consider dark skinned girls… u need a magnifying glass??
and no i,m cranky only cos i had fried eggs for aftaari. 
well obviously we’d be offended if some larka said that he wouldnt consider a dark girl… u guys would all turn blue if we said we wouldnt marry a ummmmm a khan or something! (just kidding.. as if we’d say that)
i ate too much for aftari 
Kaka, you give yourself farrrrrr too much credit. 
I wonder, did you even read what I wrote? I was responding to a comment that Sarah Splendour made that guys on GS never open up threads about their likes/dislikes/requirements. It’s always girls who supposedly do. I was giving nothing more than an example off the top of my head of topics that have been opened by guys. Did I say your name or imply you? No I didn’t. If you read the sentence in its entirety, I did mention the dark skinned girls (which was already mentioned by Sadzzz, which seemed to be o.k. with you) but also said there’s continuous bashings of ‘ABCD’ girls too. Far as I know, you’ve never said anything against ABCD girls. There have been other threads about how ugly black girls are. Those didn’t involve you at all. Yet you think I was writing about you.
Sure, I do remember your thread. My comment wasn’t directed at you though. There are plenty of other people who have made worse comments here. I also remember you clearly saying that if you met a dark-skinned girl who was wonderful, you would go for her. Please stop putting words in my mouth.
I don’t think you are an “arsehole”, but hey, if you want to believe that I do, there’s not much I can do about it. If you also want to think all my posts on GS revolve around you, your comments, the stupid things that have said to me in the past by smug marrieds (which by the way have very little to do with my skin colour unlike you seem to think), please feel free. After all, you’ve already clearly called me insecure. 
Next time you need a clarification before doing your own psychoanalysis of my “insecurities”, just send me a PM.
I think the ladies are winning the match