calm down girl..not all the guppies like him ... :p
hmmmmm :rotato:
As I prepare for my presentation on third party mediation in the Cote D’Ivoire conflict, I cannot help but wonder about a boy.
**Right girls, put on your intellectual/'let's play smart' hats. If you don't have any, please steal some ideas from the oh-so-intelligent male guppies here who tend to post intelligent, informative and worldly threads.
Good reminder. Most of the time these 'girls' whoever they
maybe you're referring to do forget to put on that hat.
As for men I'm not here to defend every one here. You see
fewer men opening such desperate threads dealing with
inability to get married.
Sadzzz, please don't open any more threads questioning Pakistani culture, Pakistani men and your (and many others) horribles experiences when it comes to meeting guys and rishtas. Guys like Aalhan are sick of it and cannot understand where you/we are coming from. I'm taking his 'kind advice' to.
Seriously the bashing and crying is not going to make any guy
come around any faster, let alone the right kind.
Like I said every thread need not be turned into a whining nursery
rhyme. If women attract such bad men all the time then maybe
these women should re evaluate the kind of vibes they are
sending out. You get what you put out bottom line.
*Word to the moderators, perhaps when one of us opens a thread about books, places we've travelled, different world issues (yes, many of us girls DO open these threads), maybe you can make it a sticky so Aalhan can see it. I think he's getting overwhelmed by the marriage based threads. *
Okay so a couple of threads were opened about prospective
reads, bohoo, that makes up for an intellectual discussion for the
rest of the year. Please moderators do put a sticky on all the
non all-men-r-jerks-but-i'm-still-dying-to-hook-up-with-one threads
because really they are microscopic to the eye if non existent.
By the way the sisterhood and feminine advocacy thing
really suits girls. If nothing else it does save one of us
from the turmoil of what could be an everyday hell of whining
after marriage otherwise.**
totally off topic… u have a very thought provoking signature :k:
Aalhan: The reasons most females revolve around this issue are
1) its like guys and..say..wrestling or..actionmovies or something. Its a universal thing. All guys nearly all guys click on it. (come up with any other thing to substitute wrestling or action movies..I just want to make a point). Its in female nature to revolve around such issues. And just as we don't get why guys revolve around certain other issues, guys don't get why we revolve around this.
2) As for marriage and sounding despo, in my experience it is the guys who are more despo. Im currently living in Pakistan and no offence, but most of the chasing here is done by pretty desperate chichoras. And in this society it is expected that girls will eventually be married off. We still havent moved out of that mindset because society hasnt let us. In fact society shuns the unmarried girl and therefore, seeing every one of your friends/batch get married off when you begin to approach a certain age, it becomes an issue. A ratrace actually. Parents don't worry kay 'my daughter didnt pass that exam' or 'my daughter is having trouble at work' etc etc. They worry kay 'I hope my daughter gets married off well'. Girls are more sensitive to this thinking and their parents' worry for them. Hence from childhood it is ..there.
Plus of course, talking abt guys and 'mr right' is as much a click factor for girls as ..talking abt cars might be for guys.
As for forum being used for venting, when important issues come up..some people might not resort to a forum for discussion. Hence all the nitty gritty is discussed here. I don't sit at the computer and think up world issues to talk about. I can do that anyway. I come here for a bit of lighthearted chitchat.
So chill out. Girls will be girls, boys will be boys. The world will keep turning.
"You see fewer men opening such desperate threads dealing with inability to get married"
I think this is a bit harsh. I read the newspaper one day, was going through classified and came across a disturbing ad. It was a personal. Said something along the lines of '55 yr old divorced male/seeking girl from decent family/early 20s/must be beautiful/contact falana number'
What does that tell you abt why men wouldn't care to worry? Because in this country a guy is put way up there on a pedestal and a girl is looked down upon. I know a girl who was dragged through HELL. Simply because guys can. She got married. Arranged. The guy divorced her after a year of a lot of mental trauma. The in-laws contributed. A lot. Her father was dead. Her mother had cancer. The whole family suffered a lot at their hands. After the divorce she stayed a year cooped up in her house. She lives across the street and I love the family like my own. It just has a widow and her. And I didnt see her face but three four times the whole of last year. You tell me. You accuse girls of moaning abt inability to get married?
No one should be so judgemental. You want better threads, make them yourself. Don't judge. You don't like a thread..say you don't on that thread. Don't revolve around it.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by sadzzz: *
i'll try my best mehnaz... but im itching to put up two more threads about my recent exerpiences!!! aaaaaaaaagh how do i hold back!!
[/QUOTE]
on second thoughts, who the heck cares about Aalhan? Open the threads! :p
Mehnaz, damn girl. You look so hot when angry. 
well isnt this a desperate attmept at "i need a girlfriend" thread ..
Demense, I wanted to say exactly what you said in the first part of your post but was didnt have enough time to type it out. So thanks for doing that. Aalhan, read her reply one more time.
Re: Kisses, boyfriends, weddings, rishtas, requirements and such
[QUOTE]
Originally posted by Aalhan: *
**Really this is a serious inquiry. With the exemption of married ones, do you ladies think about anything other than
boyfriends, proposals, getting married and what not. A big
chunk of you lives in Europe or North America and with all
the resources at your disposal, can't you guys do something
worthwhile with you life while you wait for the right person
and the right time. Subsequently, you always talk about what
you guys want, how about what you guys have to offer to guys.
Afterall, what you set out is what you'll get in return. Honesty is the
key here.*
[/QUOTE]
Well, this sounds pretty darn obnoxious. You're basing your judgement on what we think about on our posts?? How do you know we don't do anything worthwhile? How does thinking about the aforementioned things rule out thinking about anything else?
EDIT: Don't act like a jerk. We don't have to prove ourselves to you.
most of us just come here to relax or vent..if i really wanted to be heard or raise an issue, i wouldn't do it here, i'd do it in a place where it matters and where I know my voice will be heard
Wonderful idea Mehnaz :k:
**Demesne, if everything can be slapped upon
culture than all that can be said is that culture is pathetic. Any
culture that pulls out the worst in a person as compared to the best
can never be any good. I truly feel sorry for those who let
themselves fall victims to such abuse in the name of culture. I may
not be from the same race as you, but as a Muslim, do believe
that culture doesn't reign higher than religion. And in religion
it doesn't say that a person should be or can be forced into marriage.
So if culture is the burden laden upon girls and thus the reason
for the constant marital delay outcries than shun it off. Is it
more important to be Muslim or to be Pakistani, Arab, Turk, Persian and what not?
*Sahar02
Well, this sounds pretty darn obnoxious. You're basing your judgement on what we think about on our posts?? How do you know we don't do anything worthwhile? How does thinking about the aforementioned things rule out thinking about anything else?
*
Aalhan, can you please send me your mailing address? If I lose my eye-sight by reading your bright blue posts, my attorney will atleast know where to send the legal notice. Thank you.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Aalhan: *
Demesne, if everything can be slapped upon
culture than all that can be said is that culture is pathetic. Any
culture that pulls out the worst in a person as compared to the best
can never be any good. I truly feel sorry for those who let
themselves fall victims to such abuse in the name of culture. I may
not be from the same race as you, but as a Muslim, do believe
that culture doesn't reign higher than religion. And in religion
it doesn't say that a person should be or can be forced into marriage.
So if culture is the burden laden upon girls and thus the reason
for the constant marital delay outcries than shun it off. Is it
more important to be Muslim or to be Pakistani, Arab, Turk, Persian and what not?
[/quote]
doesnt islam promote marriage? every wedding i go to, some elder male stands up and tells us the importance of being married young
being forced into marriage is an entirely different topic... thinking about getting married, and discussing it... i dont understand what the big deal is...
tell me, if u were not married and u were constantly being bombarded with marriage topics and questions of all sorts.. u wouldnt be slightly concerned? pfft!
[quote]
To think that you would even think that you or anyone
else is important enough to even ask you to change...:D
It was a discussion. You want to keep opening the same
tedious and beat up topics, continue.
You make no sense. On top of that Don't outdo
yourself with personal attacks. You're barely noticeable
in the first place and
this route will pratically diminish you
[/QUOTE]
b/w sahar happens to be a very popular and respected guppy on here.. to say that she is not even noticeable, is in my opinion.. a big joke
tsk.. kya bane ga in larkon ka
**Faisal, I've enough worries of getting
sued in my profession without having to be loaded with
anymore :D You read at your own risk. Otherwise,
simply don't read :) Honestly unlike the popular notion here,
I'm not the least bit affected by the numerical indicator of cliks on the
post.
sadzz, Islam promotes marriage at a young age yes.
Someone said it's cultural expectation of girls and a position
they are put into. Then rebel against such culture that makes
girls crazy either way. If they get married, they hate men,
if they don't get married they hate men. Seriously what's the
positive side. The hatred doesn't affect me, but seriously
if you all want to get married, stop hating men in general
or you may be so busy hating that you won't notice when
that right guy walks by. Just a friendly suggestion. And he
sure as hell won't notice either.
As far as popularity is concerned, you may like wrappers,
I may just think they are trash and discard them. The common
notion at gupshup that if a person participates in a thread or types
up a response in every thread they are automatically
elevated to stardom. On the darker side it may just imply that they have a lot of free time on their hands. Doesn't necessarily say that
they have something worthwhile to contribute to every thread.
Cafe is a colorful example of that. What and who may be popular
to you might not be popular to me, simply because I am neither
digging the sisterhood brotherhood thing, nor am I inspired by
people simply by the amount of times they use their mouths.**
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Aalhan: *
sadzz, Islam promotes marriage at a young age yes.
Someone said it's cultural expectation of girls and a position
they are put into. Then rebel against such culture that makes
girls crazy either way. If they get married, they hate men,
if they don't get married they hate men. Seriously what's the
positive side. The hatred doesn't affect me, but seriously
if you all want to get married, stop hating men in general
or you may be so busy hating that you won't notice when
that right guy walks by. Just a friendly suggestion. And he
sure as hell won't notice either.
[/quote]
i don think a girl needs to rebel against her culture to prove a point.. these days i think a lot of our parents are wanting their daughters to get education and then get married..
but i do agree with u, girls need to change their hatred into just i guess bad experience or something... but alhan dont u sympathise at all with us females? I believe if you understand what half these women go thru.. the crap they have to put up with.. and no its not by their parents.. but what muslim guys in general say and do.. hence the hatred towards our own men :) , then u wouldnt be making such a big fuss about the way we feel.. something u need to be able to place urself in teh other persons shoe before coming up with an argument that matters..
i think we're just becoming a bit synical (sp?) and the notion that a nice guy exists out there for each one of us is like finding a needle in a haystack... hehe
[quote]
As far as popularity is concerned, you may like wrappers,
I may just think they are trash and discard them. The common
notion at gupshup that if a person participates in a thread or types
up a response in every thread may just imply that they have
a lot of free time on their hands, doesn't necessarily say that
they have something worthwhile to contribute to every thread.
Cafe is a colorful example of that. What and who may be popular
to you might not be popular to me, simply because I am neither
digging the sisterhood brotherhood thing, nor am I inspired by
people by the amount of times they use their mouths
[/QUOTE]
if u were saying this about the general popullation in cafe, then yes i'd back you, but sahar is in a league of her own... u prob havent read enuff of her thought provoking and intelligent posts in H&R or general...
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by sadzzz: *
but alhan dont u sympathise at all with us females? I believe if you understand what half these women go thru.. the crap they have to put up with.. and no its not by their parents.. but what muslim guys in general say and do..
[/QUOTE]
What crap exactly do girls have to put up with? I'm a girl too, funny how I've had to put up with crap from desi women and girls much more than guys. Girls are meddling, gossipy, fickle creatures in my experience.
SS, u get all sorts of guys and girls… ur lucky u havent had to go thru rejection and other drama 
ask those who have
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Sarah Splendor: *
What crap exactly do girls have to put up with?
[/QUOTE]
Nothing. We make it all up cause we are bored.
With all the threads that have been opened up in the past about Desi girls, insulting their characters, etc. you think you guys would be able to handle a few threads questioning their actions when they act like idiots. It works both ways. Get over it.