Re: kismat
^ Well take it a bit farther for Pakistani muslims. Remember in our culture, (culturally speaking), the “religious” girl is the one who doesn’t even talk much with ahray gharay men.
So its not surprising that a pakistani guy would actually go and talk to his friends about his girfriend.
My sister made the mistake of dating a guy in high school. She told him not to speak of the relationship to anyone, but he of course didn’t respect that request and told a few of his cousins. The cousins told their friends, and rumor spread. I met an old girfriend at some event and she asked me about my sister and where she’s going to school (probably to confirm which girl the rumor is about). She had this strange look on her face, and I asked her why she’s so interested in my sister? She said something about hearing some rumors about so-and-so dating such-and-such a guy.
Turns out that some girls really were interested in this guy (he was 4 years older than my sister). So what happened was that the girls spread some nasty rumors about her.
Later on when she told me about the relationship, it all made sense to me. She told me she ended it because he was telling other people about the relationship, and she didn’t like that because if our parents found out about it, it would hurt them a lot.
Well needless to say, I’ve done my best to keep her away from relationships. Teen hormones, I swear. My advice to her was that if she doens’t want people finding out about it, then why bother being in the relationship and taking the risk?
Interestingly, this boy proposed marriage to her - yes, in high school 
. I asked her why she believed him? She said she just had, because her “heart” told her to. Of course, bollywood influence. Then I asked why he hadn’t spoken to our father about it if he was so serious. She didn’t have an answer to it.
And nicely enough, this same guy is going around and still spreading nasty rumors about her - saying the same thing - that he didn’t care for her to begin with.
Now don’t say I’m generalizing one incident. I know MANY girls who have been through the same kind of situation. Of course, details vary and differ from situation to situation. But in each case, I’ve found that the girl fell for the excuses that the guy made, and then the guy proceeded to lose respect for her (if he had any in the first place).
So Sara - the answer to your response is that most of these guys really aren’t serious to begin with. They want a quick bang for their buck. What happens afterwards, they dont care much about. And really who suffers a lot of the damage? The girl does.
Islam is right when it says not to bother dating. There is good reason for it.
