kismat

Lifestyle Relationships
1

is so bloody complexed, i cant resist from marvelling at it… now its not complexed n fragile from all aspects but only regarding the ultimate superior distugusting egoist sex, i-e the guys

its the secondd time i broke off from a guy, when things were going extremely well, and gosh , the break off is really mind blowing, the first one took two years to recover. its not dat i am making public of this fact, but i cant understand when i see other guys running after gurls , calling them , spending fortunes on them, dat y is this not the case with me
y do i come across guys who are awfully fine wid the rest of the world are egoist n un caring n misers . serious i am beggining to think dat i am not blessed. the more i try to work thinks out, the more they become hopelessly rotten.

in this process i hurt myself so much dat it takes long time to heal.its not the prob of luks or humour, i m blessed wid both, but i cant figure the reason dat i break up every time n the guy turns into a feeling less monster . i wish i was as lucky as other gurls

2

Re: kismat

if you want him to spend money on you and be caring, and show his emotional side to often - then try broaching this topic before you start a relationship.

just put it out to the guy when things start getting serious - that you're not wanting to get into another relationship where the guy doesn't find it important to show from time to time that he loves you.

you'll see then that 90% of the guys you meet will run away.

think of it as natural selection. thinning out the crowd. makes things easier for you in the long run. meanwhile do what you should be doing, really - focus on yourself. No one else will. Well unless you pop out like 8 of their babies.

3

Re: kismat

and look, if you feel like he wasn't appreciating you and giving you the attention you deserve, then be happy that you broke it off with the ****head.

guys who don't know how to treat their women the way they should be treated should not have women in the first place.

and really, most of them just want to stick their dicks somewhere. shrugs. Pakistani boys are all horney little suckers. That's probably why they need their moms to come and arrange their rishtaas for them. Because their own moms know they can't think with their heads. They think with the heads of their dicks.

4

Re: kismat

its not dat i aam crying for the guy , its just the way they act , i swear , making personal matters public, involving all bloody freinds n the rest of the world, n denying the fact dat they ever had a single piece of interest. they way his non-sense friends poke in, it really drives me mad, i wish i cud drag him on the road and shatter his ego, dog.

5

Re: kismat

Perhaps because you are a prude? fat? bad-looking?

If you desire the company of guys so much, why don't YOU go after them? Expecting them to come after you just smacks of the typical female dramaqueenliness.

It's life. **** happens. Keep on trying and you'll probably land in with a prize of your own liking sooner or later. Otherwise, tough luck.

PCG just sounds jealous of her female Pakistani brethen who happen to get their jollies through the HEADS of the DICKS of these DICKHEADS.

Cafe' ki Ronak
Cafe' ki Ronak
6

Re: kismat

^ see this is the attitude you have to contend with. I’m telling you, its a waste of time even bothering with these guys. When they find that their own momies are not cutting it and they desire to have children, they’ll go looking for girls on their own.

Otherwise, you’re right. I’ve seen it lots of times where a guy gets into a relationship and then has the NERVE to say that there never was anything there and there was no romance. Who wants to be in a partnership with someone as ghattiya as that?

God forbid if someone does that to their sisters though. :rolleyes:

Pakistani guys really don’t know how to respect women. In fact, wordlwide guys dont know how to respect women. Here and there you’ll find the exceptional oddball of a guy. Otherwise, they’re really not worth the time. Aasha - develop yourself as an individual - take up a career or some hobby that you really enjoy doing - whatever it is - excel in your field - make a change in society - help other people - etc. whatever you want to do.

Then you’ll see even more as you work in society how dirty and low guys can get. And it will repulse you even further.

Meanwhile, you’ll become a better person and a happier person from your own success. And some guy will eventually appreciate it and have the balls to propose to you. But let him come to you. No need for you to run after anyone, unlike what numero X here says.

7

Re: kismat

PCG thx god i never ran after a guy, and i think this wat that teases a guy the most. men are egoistic creeps who want to see women lying low to them, they want to be taken care of in every way, when "their responsibilities " are not fulfilled by women, they sweet lil heart gets torn, n their ego is hurt, and since they are gods they decide the fate of the gurls with their venom filled fking mouth.

No. X, thx for ur concern

8

Re: kismat

right. so now that you know this, then make sure to not bother with men again, unless they're serious enough to put a ring on your finger.

Cafe' ki Ronak
9

Re: kismat

PCG,

bitchy attitude of girls like you is what turns off a lot of men.

Take this very thread for example.

The OP posted a barely legible post-breakup rant which contained gems such as 'but i cant understand when i see other guys running after gurls , calling them , spending fortunes on them, dat y is this not the case with me' and 'is so bloody complexed, i cant resist from marvelling at it... now its not complexed n fragile from all aspects but only regarding the ultimate superior distugusting egoist sex, i-e the guys.'.

You have to wonder, with this approach, how does the OP plan to secure a fullfilling relationship? Why does she care if 'other guys' run after 'other girls'? Seems to me to be some kind of peverse insecurity fledging from incessent peer pressure. The OP is presumably looking for a healthy laision. A healthy relationship does not take its cue from others behaviours. (flaan flaan nay is tarah kiya arguments are generally the harbingers of most fights in traditional households) In order for a relationship to succeed, you need geniune interest in the person itself, not the ideals they stands for or the image they portray.

The original poster apparantly wants guys to call her and spend buckets full of money on her. They should not do so because they may be geniunely interested in the OP but because Joe and Jane in the neighbourhood block also do the same! This is a ****ed up and totally counter-productive attitude. If you are defining your relationship on materialistic vaules from the beginning then don't cry and run to mommy if they end up on the same chapter.

During the course of sprouting her usual feministic bull****, PCG added another nugget to her already ilustrious collection,

[QUOTE]
But let him come to you. No need for you to run after anyone...
[/QUOTE]

Yup, sure the guys here so totally appreciate this.

Huh! What happened to breaking stereotypes? What happened to bringing men and women on the same platform? Mutual co-operation anyone? So guys should do all the donkey-work, spend their days and nights catering to the idotic whims of some ****ed-up snob and worship her somemore when she decides to finally take a break from some jacked up social project of hers and bestow her singular attentions on their worthless souls?

Really, painting all the males in the world from the same goddamned brush. Do you gain some sort of instant gratification out of bashing males or do they as serve some sort of orgasm?

OP,

Perhaps you need to realize that maybe the fault doesn't necessarily lie with the guy? Obviously I am in no position to make a realistic judgement on your position, but in general most people (and this is true of both men and women) tend to ignore their own shortcomings when lamenting about their break-ups and fights.

Hell, perhaps the guy just wasn't your type! There are a thousand different types of personalities among humankind and not all of them prefer their SO's to be cut from the same sterotypical cloth. Instead of bitching about guys in general, why don't you focus on your own personal problems, cool off a bit, do a little honest introspection and realize that focusing on materialistic standards doesn't generally lead to fluff and puppies.

If you going to scream and whimper and call all guys dogs and assholes then it is your own call. Just realize that not many men are into the BDSM scene.

Awara-Pan ...
Awara-Pan ...
10

Re: kismat

Really, I am preaching to the choir here.

Perhaps maturity is too mature a concept for some of you.

11

Re: kismat

Hmmm…

I don’t see anything wrong with a girl pursuing a guy, I did that once, and I might do it again, but too many desis think she’s pathetic or slutty or somethin if they do that :bummer:

12

Re: kismat

Numbri X: erhaps the original poster (OP) should clarify a few things on her own. I dont speak for her. But when some girl is unsatisfied with her relationship and then talks about how other girls are in better relationships - the mentality is not as you described it. She's not necessarily saying "Hey - look at that couple - that's how I want us to be - and you as a guy need to make yourself into that guy over there".

Not always. Somestimes, yes. But not always. The OP here would have to clarify that for herself, though.

Sometimes, when a girl sees that she's not in a healthy relationship, the fact that others are just amplifies the pain. You can call it jealousy. You can call it dekha-dekhi. But the fact of the matter is plain and pure. The girl knows there are better ways of living life out there, because clearly others are experiencing it - and it makes her realize she's missing out on something.

She mentions how this guy she broke up with was talking about her to his other friends, and how he was letting his friends be privy to information pertaining to their relationship. I don't think that's a guy worthy of a relationship to begin with.

Maturity has to come from the male as well. If a girl is not seeing that kind of maturity in the guy she's interested in, then its best she move on and focus on her own life. That is what my point is. Now how is that a bad thing?

Your advice to her on how she should also look at herself is correct though. That's why I was telling her to get involved in doing something she likes to do. When you develop yourself thru a career or a hobby, you learn a lot about yourself as well as other people. No sense in sitting at home and complaining.

13

Re: kismat

......

14

Re: kismat

Sara516 - that's the whole point - if you are strong and taking the initiative to start a relationship, these same guys will have no problem in pointing out that you are a slut - even after getting into a relationship with you and then using you (physically or emotionally even).

So why waste your time? I say don't even bother pursuing them, because the vast majority of them either don't know what they want, or they don't have the etiquette that should go along with being in pre-marital relationships. Boys in our culture aren't really raised to be in pre-marital relationships, so the idea of respecting a girl they're dating, or keeping info private or being gentle and caring and dropping little reminders of the fact that they do care is alien to them.

And they're not going to change because they're dating you or you or you out there. This is going to be a slow cultural change to occur, if it even does occur.

Therefore, no point in wasting your time with imbeciles. I've seen sooooo many pakistani girls get into relationships with pakistani guys and it almost always ends up bad. And the younger they get into the relationship, the worse the outcome.

But no, girls also actually expect that a shah rukh khan type of characters out there exist, and that they will actually run into them. It doesn't happen, so give it a rest and do what's really important. Focus on yourself.

And yes, No. X. If you guys were a bit more man about the way you people act around females and the way you treat females, then I would totally encourage girls to go out there and find a relationship and take the iniative. But the fact of the matter is that most guys are NOT of that stature. So you people want to disrespect women? Fine. Then you also have to do the work to get a good girl.

As you said yourself to this girl. Tough luck.

15

Re: kismat

Yeah ur right… Funny thing tho, the one I pursued never treated me disrespectfully or was a jerk about it (which makes it even harder to get over, losing out on one fo the “good ones” :halo:…whole other story ), but the one who asked me out was a jerk, a liar…so go figure. This dating stuff, there’s a reason it’s not allowed in our culture and religion..its very damaging, emotionally and sometimes physiclaly as well. There’s like, no need for it. :yawn:

aho
16

Re: kismat

Seems like someones carrying a serious chip on their shoulder.

17

Re: kismat

^ You knwo what? Our experiences shape our opinions and outlook on life and vice versa. If someone has a personally bad experience, or knows of someone close who did, why shouldn't we go by it? Lets say a girl was treated horribly by someone, you seriously expect her to still feel th same way about guys, sex, dating, love etc etc afterwards??

18

Re: kismat

PCG,

[QUOTE]
erhaps the original poster (OP) should clarify a few things on her own. I dont speak for her. But when some girl is unsatisfied with her relationship and then talks about how other girls are in better relationships - the mentality is not as you described it. She's not necessarily saying "Hey - look at that couple - that's how I want us to be - and you as a guy need to make yourself into that guy over there".
[/QUOTE]

You opinions about mentality do not matter in this case. The OP wrote and I requote, "'but i cant understand when i see other guys running after gurls , calling them , spending fortunes on them,* dat y is this not the case with me*'''.

This type of attitude is self-destructive in the long run. I know that breakups can be pretty messy, but I am sick and tired of people just going along with the party involved and generally pulling up an extremely sympthetic facade.

[QUOTE]
She mentions how this guy she broke up with was talking about her to his other friends, and how he was letting his friends be privy to information pertaining to their relationship. I don't think that's a guy worthy of a relationship to begin with.
[/QUOTE]

Hmm, I would like to hear if the OP didnt 'talk' to HER friends about their relationship. And why exactly is it wrong to discuss relationships with mates? I am not surprised at your views though.

[QUOTE]
Maturity has to come from the male as well. If a girl is not seeing that kind of maturity in the guy she's interested in, then its best she move on and focus on her own life. That is what my point is. Now how is that a bad thing?
[/QUOTE]

Certainly not a bad thing and I do believe I have emphasized this in at least two of my last three posts. If OP would have been a guy instead of a girl then my response would have been similar too. Unlike you I don't believe that one gender is necessarily better or worse then the other.

[QUOTE]
And yes, No. X. If you guys were a bit more man about the way you people act around females and the way you treat females, then I would totally encourage girls to go out there and find a relationship and take the iniative. But the fact of the matter is that most guys are NOT of that stature. So you people want to disrespect women? Fine. Then you also have to do the work to get a good girl.
[/QUOTE]

See PCG, you are generalizing again. This is a habit you just can't seem to give up. A lot of guys are assholes only their to tap some ass. (not that I believe there is anything wrong with legitimately tapping some ass) But as many girls can also be accused of being snobbish bitches and dramaqueens. FAULTS CAN LIE WITH BOTH PARTIES, and in many cases the blame can be pretty squarely distributed. I repeat, girls and guys are both equally culpable (specially in a culture like United States where a measure of equality between men and women has been established) Going by the MEN EVIL RARRR HURR stereotype only tips people off.

Unless you get rid of this intrinsicly hostile attitude towards the male gender I don't think any constructive dialogue with you is possible. Even most of your good points get lost in the usual uberfeminazi bull**** you serve.

Also, Pakistan men aren't the end of the world. As long as they know you will only be interested in them, they will remain smug in their own importance. Once the latch is open though and they realize they have competitiors they will be more aimable to change. :p

:D

Indian Idol
19

Re: kismat

White boy zindabad :smiley:

aho
20

Re: kismat

What, so a personal experience gives liberty to constantly brandish all men in such a vile and crude manner?

In all honesty its best some of you girls on GS never get married and end ruining some poor guys life with this constant bitchiness.