Salam and thanks for reading long story in advance..
So I grew up in a middle class Pakistani family and went abroad 5 years ago, I did a degree and got married there to a Pakistani girl who was living there for past 10 yrs…Now last year I got an offer from my parents to start a business in Pakistan and live there with them so we both quit our jobs and went back to Pak. We bought some land and spent rest of the time enjoying.. 6 months later my wife got bored and started insisting on going back (she was a working lady) my parents got pissed off coz I bought land with there money where no one can look after but I told them we r going there just for ramadan and we ll be back.. but as soon as we got here my wife told me that she was too depresed there and she will do anything for me but she wont go back.. ever since weve had so many arguments and fights that my family dosent wana talk to me any more…I know she loves me coz when I told her I cant live with her forever and has to go back she got physical and beat me up…My mistake was that I shared this with my family here and and they shared it with my parents in Pak so they are really against my wife now… But I still wanted to give her a chance coz I am so confused on what to doo plz help me with that…
I know I cant live here forever coz I feel too much depressed and unenthusiastic here
I have a brain tumor which is in curable condition but that makes me feel lazy and lathergic and the meds i take for it make my brain numb i.e unable to think of something and analyze critical situations…
My wife is loyal to me and Ive told her Ill get her a separate place with all the facilities and i will upgrade them once my business is up and running
The business itself is a huge opportunity for me and requires least effort with huge output
my parents are willing to put all their savings for my future
MY parents are too old now and I have no one else to look after them they are too old and unable to think now and analyse simple situations.
I have an issue with trust… I knw its wrong but something my wife did before marriage dosent let me trust her anymore even when I am at work I always have bad illusions but on the other hand when I see her I forget everything coz she literally touched my feet to say sory and cried for hours for me to forgive and forget
My physical relationship is very good with both are over active and cant sleep without hugging
I am too much soft harted and tend to forgive things but I am very bad with forgetting such things
I am in a dilemma where I am unable to take any dicessions
weve been to so many places together thats its really really dificult for me to forget her if I leave
yeah and btw weve been married for 1 yr and 2 months but dont yet have a pregnancy
I am ready to provide her with everything but shes not willing to go
And there are other things that force me to leave her like shes too dumb she would take a while to add 8+3 but I feel pity for her for that aswell
she dosent have a mom and her stepmom her khala is a cruel negative player in this relationship
I consider it my mistake coz i shouldnt involve my family but I do that coz i cant stop her from doing that too, when my revengfull side kicks in…
More info: a few days ago my parents wernt talking to me so I explaind/requested her to go back and live there for my parents..my parents are too old plus too much unable to understand things not that they are ziddi but they are too old and unintelligent
Now if I live here and one of my parents die there alone (coz they cant come here permanently) i wont be able to forgive my self and if I leave my wife coz Ive literally begged her to come with me but she refused and would rather leave me..I wont foget her
I am so much mentally unstable that I am seriously considering suicide
plz help
Re: Killer situation
She beat you up? 
Re: Killer situation
Yea coz i told her that i dont wana live here but she said she wouldnt leave me so over that argument she got physical...btw u took the time to read all this do u have a suggestion aswell?
Re: Killer situation
Well, suicide certainly won't help!
Re: Killer situation
Any suggestions?
Re: Killer situation
Its a total chaos I m very bad with getting over things..I tried but im too much scared of what will happen after sucide
Killer situation
I think ur wife is selfish. This is how I see it, parents are everything, they looked after u when you were young, dressed you, got you educated, etc etc... Parents should come first as they are the key to heaven and cannot be replaced.
Your wife on the other hand, should be more understanding. I'm sorry to say this but your going to be better off without her. What kind of life partner is she who is keeping you away from your parents, stopping you from succeeding in life and making you more ill than you already are.
Be assertive n tell your wife it's her duty to look after your parents too. If she doesn't understand or care than she may not be as suitable as you thought she was for you.
Re: Killer situation
You people need to decide where to live BEFORE you get married. If living with your parents was so important to you why didn't you discuss it with her before the shaadi? Shaadi se pehle maa baap ka khayal nahi hota, love shove ke chakron mein pare rehte ho ... and as soon as you get married you remember ke oh humare to parents bhi hain. Seriously.
You cannot force her to move to Pakistan. Why can't your parents come live with you instead?
I'll still say these things need to be discussed and decided before you get married.
Re: Killer situation
This wasnt an issue before marriage but ill b honest that she told me she will live anywhere as long as her partner loves her but on the other hand i admitted that to her dad that ill live here when he asked but I thought she was flexible by saying that and it wasnt a big issue back then
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And just like i admited to her dad she admited to me that she would even live in Pak
Re: Killer situation
You said you've been married for a year. Was your father ill a year ago? 2 years ago? You parents are older .. they were old 2 years ago. Why didn't go live with them then?
And why can't your parents just come live with you? Wifey shouldn't have anything against that right?
Btw, telling your family about you and your wifes arguments and fights is very bad of you.
Re: Killer situation
They cant live here perm... Till prob next 4, 5 years atleast plus here its much hard for me to provide seperate accomodation to both and my parents say living here with my wife wasnt a good experience for initial 2 months but in pak they had a compartively better relation coz my parents have other activities and dont require my attention all the time and can travel on their own... We did discussed that before marriage and it wasnt a big issue but she was like ager zaroorat pari to shell go sort of but i just asked her also we dint stress much coz we both had a perm job but nows the real time
Re: Killer situation
No he wasnt that ill a year ago and both my parents and wife dont wana live together
Re: Killer situation
Yea and since we went back and lived with them they want attention badly. Should i punish them for this?and its not that i m different to my wife there i m more thankfull and try to fulfill all her needs take her out for walk or out otrwise almost everyday
Re: Killer situation
My brother.. being so much soft hearted will bring you more misery. I really feel pitty for you.. you lack decision power.. you are beaten up by your wife hence you dont have any respect in this relation (i bet you would be in jail if she was the one beaten up) .. your parents are old and alone, and you are confused between choosing your wife or you parents. Believe me looking after your parents is your biggest duty at the moment.
I am sure, you won't be satified by any advice here.. but you can have a temporary solution. Go back to Pakistan and live there. Your wife can stay here and later on when you both have enough time to think then you can decide about future. The best thing for you at the moment is go back and from there figure out the situation with a peaceful mind.
p.s. If your wife already knew about your brain tumor and even then you were beaten up then i feel pitty for her too.
Re: Killer situation
Yea and since we went back and lived with them they want attention badly. Should i punish them for this?and its not that i m different to my wife there i m more thankfull and try to fulfill all her needs take her out for walk or out otrwise almost everyday
Parents do need the attention of their kids. I dont know what you meant by "they want attention badly". Did they interfere in your and your wife's matters or they simply wanted to have sometime together in a day?
Re: Killer situation
They need attention badly? What are they, toddlers? I’m sorry. I know many people will disagree with me on this and think I’m a bad person. But your parents are not babies who need to attention all the time. You just said yourself that your parents are busy in their activities and that they travel on their own. 
They don’t sound ill. Obviously you’d know it better than any of us and I can only judge by whatever you’ve told us.
If you can’t live with your wife and you feel like this marriage is not going to work then just ask for a divorce. But forcing her to move to Pak isn’t gonna fix anything.
Re: Killer situation
You've got to sell the move. But before selling it to her, try convincing yourself. How would it be beneficial to you and your family, taking your parents out of the equation. Will this move be better for you financially, can your wife help out with the business, whatever it is. If you're going to make her sit home, she's bound to get bored.
Re: Killer situation
my parents have other activities and dont require my attention all the time and can travel on their own...
Based on this statement above, clearly there isn't any immediate "NEED" for you to move to Pakistan. Yes your parents are elderly but by your admission, they're currently healthy enough to travel and be involved in other activities on their own. As of right now, your parents are capable of living/enjoying life without you being there every other day.
I think your #1 priority should be getting better....dealing with your brain tumor. If you're truly committed to helping your parents at their old age....well then you can't do that if you yourself are ill. Same concept with suicide. You can't help your parents (or anyone else) if you're dead.
Focus on getting better physically and also please get some counselling. Your wife physically abused you and your low self-esteem is making you think that you somehow deserved it. Physical abuse is never ok. So before you think of helping your parents or anyone else.....you need to focus in improving your own physical and mental health.
Re: Killer situation
How can you love someone who beats you up? :(