I was married to a guy from Pakistan back in 2011. My marriage was arranged by our families.I never liked him , there was something off about him but after marriage i learned that he suffered from multiple personlality disorder, he was very hot headed and was disable in many ways. I was in europe and visited him in Karachi while he was waiting for his visa which was later denied because of some missing documents.
Whenever i visited him in Pakistan we stayed in a house owned by his older brother. I was not allowed to use the kitchen or the laundry or watch tv in the lounge because my husband had no share in that house. No one spoke to us. My (ex) husband and no real friends or family that was close to him. Ever since i got engaged to him, he used to emotionally blackmail me and threaten me by saying that he would talk to my family to finish this relationship or there were so many other girls after him. He knew from the very beginning that i was not into him and that my family talked me into this. So he used it against me. After marriage these threats got worse, after his visa for Europe was denied he started threatening my father and me to buy him a house in Karachi or he would marry another woman. He wouldnt let me have kids because he was afraid that i would “runaway” from him. We also found out that he had been married before. He is 42 years old.
So i filed for khula 4 months back after being married 1 1/2 years. I hear nothing when the court notice was sent to him. He never showed up in court and my divorce was finalized two months ago. Now all of a sudden my ex husband is awake from the dead. He made his friend call me to tell me that im still his wife because he never signed the papers. And that Sharia does not accept this khula without his signature. Then his friend and my ex started mailing me how i will be committing a crime and a sin by getting married to someone else as im still his wife. Im very confused and i dont know what to do. Does anyone know how khula works?
What I don't understand is that you didn't want to marry him, why didn't you just let him end your relationship or give you divorce? That would've been much easier than trying to get it now.
Water under the bridge...right?...
Let me see if I get this right. Are you using Khula & divorce interchangable? You filed for Khula and got a divorce. He didn't sign the divorce papers and the court & authorities granted it still?
Good grief...Don't let this jerk ruin your life. My understanding is that Khula & Divorce are 2 different things but maybe that's what they do in Pakistan. My understanding of Khula is that the marriage is dissolved (Annulled) as if it never occurred like the Catholics do it since they don't believe in Divorce. B
ut the below email excerpt from an Imam may be helpful.
As salaamu alaykum wa rahmatullah
In your case, annulment would be the procedure of Talaq. (This may or may not be your case daizy1)
Procedure: When a couple decides to carry on with their lives separately, then they will consult their elders, the elders or arbitrators will try to reconcile between the couple. If and when all avenues of reconciliation have been exhausted and the marriage reaches a point termed irreconcilable differences, then the elders or arbitrators will have no choice but to ask the husband to release his wife from marriage by pronouncing talaq.
The husband has the right of refusal, until he doesn't wish to release his wife, she will remain his wife.
If the wife refuses to stay with him, then she can either enact any clauses she might have placed in her marriage contract or she *can ask the Shariah council to seek a Khula or annullment on her behalf.
*
Jazakallah
Don't worry, this guy is toast and he knows it too so he'll pulling all these stunts on you.
I'm no expert on Islamic Law but doesn't it state that we as muslims must not only abide but defer to the laws of the land if they are not contridictory to Islamic principles.
So if a civil court decided to give you a divorce, then the Islamic Law should recognize that divorce.
Important thing is did the court grant Khula and do you have any legal proof, like court order/degree on official papers?
If so then take all those documents to some religious scholar/Imam in your community and tell him all the situation. I think if the court has given the decision in your favor then there is no issue.
So** i filed for khula 4 months back after being married 1 1/2 years. I hear nothing when the court notice was sent to him. He never showed up in court and **my divorce was finalized two months ago.
You already know that your ex-husband is mentally ill and is emotionally abusive. So why are you still allowing yourself to be confused/worried by what he's saying if you have official court papers that granted your request for khula?
We have applied the divorce of my sis in uk... Things r almost finalized and alhamdulillah my sis will b free soon.. Now suddenly her ex inlaws r saying stuff like "hum ney to shadi karni hey" blabla... The lawyer convinced us that the court is in favour of my sis and that the divorce s like 100% done.
Now my mum had the same dubio about court divorce (ex husband didn't signed but court will annul the marriage, but islam doesn't know the annulement law) so my dad will get fatwa from an islamic scholar based on the divorce that is given by the british court.
In ur case, i would say u r divorced(if court has given and finalized it)... If u want to double check with sharia law.. Just coduct an imam or scholar in country u r living.
Hope it helps :)
Btw dont let yrself get crazy by him, my sis is kind of going through the same.. Ignoring is the best thing to do now xx
If you got khula through court then you are no longer married to him doesn't matter what he or his friends say. Make sure your divorce is registered, which I am sure it is since it was through court.
as far as I know, khula becomes automatically applicable in 90 days after you submit the request in the court. it doesn't matter if the husband signs it or not. my brother's ex wife applied for khula and my brother never signed anything and just got a notification from the family court and union after 3 months that the marriage is annulled. They called both of them every month to help reconcile but since both were not interested, they never showed up there and waited for 90 days to be over. You just have to surrender haq mehr by law but that is optional and depends onthe husband. My brother didnt take it back either. Jaan chhuraana zyada zaroori hota hai kayee dafa buss :D
if you court has granted you khula then you are no longer his wife . It does not matter if he signed the papers or not. Just get the papers from court and if your marriage was registered in Pakistan , submit them to union council and they will issue you the divorce certificate.
If the wife refuses to stay with him, then she can either enact any clauses she might have placed in her marriage contract or she can ask the Shariah council to seek a Khula or annullment on her behalf.
This
So if a civil court decided to give you a divorce, then the Islamic Law should recognize that divorce.
And this. I believe you're divorced...please consult with proper authorities as diamond has stated and ignore him.
My Mother applied for a Khula after my father refused to sign the divorce papers issued by the court.
Although the divorce was granted Mum was told my an Alim & later a Mufti that as he didn't sign the paperwork a Khula would need to be granted under Shariah law (via Shariah Council).
I think it's my hormones but I'm confused; have you applied for a divorce as you had what people call a 'court marriage'? Or have you applied for a Khula? Which would be the annulment usually issued by a Shariah Council (if you live in the UK).
My mothers divorce was via the British court; as both my parents are residents here. Not sure if you applied via Pak or abroad. Mum filed her divorce papers with her case to the Shariah Council who got back to her I think 7 months later with their decision.
But if he's using the whole 'I didn't sign the paperwork hahahaha' card and you have the Khula granted by the courts send his parents a photocopy via registered post; hopefully he'll leave you the hell alone after that.
Have you or your family in Pakistan picked the khula papers from court/union council ? If not, just collect them and send a copy to the ex-husband (although he must already have one too)
Have you or your family in Pakistan picked the khula papers from court/union council ? If not, just collect them and send a copy to the ex-husband (although he must already have one too)
Ditto! I'd send a copy to his parents too; so they are aware too considering it was an arranged marriage on both sides.
And this. I believe you're divorced...please consult with proper authorities as diamond has stated and ignore him.
If OP applied for divorce outside of Pakistan then it may not be considered a divorce if the paperwork was never signed by the ex. Also, can someone enlighten me. Did OP apply for divorce via civil court in Pak or a Khula via a Shariah Council?
I applied for Khula via family court in Karachi. I have registered my papers and i have my khula certificate as well. My ex was sent a copy but he refuse to accept it. He is threatening me that if i marry someone else i will be committing a sin (Zinah) as im still his wife but he can marry 3 more times and if i want to leave him then i should ask for a divorce. But he was never going to give me a divorce, the whole time i was married to him he kept saying "bring your khula papers and i will sign them" but he never thought i would actually leave him. He likes to play sick mind games.
I have contacted a mufti , lets what he has to say on this.
I applied for Khula via family court in Karachi. I have registered my papers and i have my khula certificate as well. My ex was sent a copy but he refuse to accept it. He is threatening me that if i marry someone else i will be committing a sin (Zinah) as im still his wife but he can marry 3 more times and if i want to leave him then i should ask for a divorce. But he was never going to give me a divorce, the whole time i was married to him he kept saying "bring your khula papers and i will sign them" but he never thought i would actually leave him. He likes to play sick mind games.
I have contacted a mufti , lets what he has to say on this.
What did mufti said let me know, I'm planing to take khula ,, what's the process advice please. Thank you I live in New York by the way... Do we get any rights any thing or we have to leave empty hand ?
I'm going through the a divorce in the same state. My local imam said I could either drag my ex to the masjid and he'll provide the khula on the spot, or once the divorce papers are signed I can bring the papers.
Just like a divorce works in the US, if the guy is sent notices, the notice is published in the newspapers and all the routes are taken to inform your husband and he still does not show up, it is considered abandonment and the court has the right to issue divorce according to the Sharia Law in Pakistan. However, after the family court orders the divorce, if your nikkah papers were registered in the union council, then another case has to be filed with them so that they can give you the official certificate of khula/divorce. Your ex is clearly trying to blackmail you because you are no longer married to him and you should ignore those "threats". He can't do anything.
As for you Soha101, again, if you live in New York but you got nikkah-ed in Pakistan and it was registered there then to file for khula you will have to go back to Pakistan OR find an attorney in pakistan who will need your power of attorney to represent you there in case you cannot be there since it takes a few months (up to a year). PM me if you need more details