**If some friend proposes to you, should you keep contact with him? **
This is a case of my friend, say Sarah. A guy, call him Daniyal, she was really good friends with for a few years has proposed to her. She does not want to say yes but she is completely confused whether or not she should continue the friendship with him. She has just told him that she has no plans of getting married just now so forget the idea for now. She says she might consider him when the time comes but does not want to falsely commit on some thing she herself is not sure about, till then should she continue contact with him because it may lead to further development of liking from him but on the other hand she does not want to lose some one she has been close friends for years all of a sudden?
–Suggestions please–
Re: Keeping contact with a friend who has PROPOSED?
nothing funny!
well daffy id suggest NOT staying in touch with him because that might be a silent approval of the proposal for a guy! And if she is not sure of her feelings at the moment she should not give signs to the guy because the poor thing might end up being left heart broken!
Re: Keeping contact with a friend who has PROPOSED?
Tell Sarah it's always wise to carry a spare tire. Just keep Daniyal slightly hopeful while she prays for the big moti asaamee. If say Sarah's biological clock is ticking in a few years and that moti asaamee is nowhere to be found, then Daniyal can be approached with "I always loved you and wanted to test you to see if you would wait for me...now that you have passed the test, let's elope"
Thats SO true... especially back home. I personally saw stuff like that.... girls wanted to have a couple of guys "aage peeche" at all times to keep their options open.
In such case… I see one gal and 2,3 guys “aage peechay” I wonder they dont have to do anything good except wandering "aage peechay"of a gal in dreams of “shayad chance mil jay” moral of the story … one stupid gal n 2 or more stupid guys…
Re: Keeping contact with a friend who has PROPOSED?
I think its best not to keep in touch in such a situation. It can hurt the person to see that she does not reciprocate his feelings. Especially if she starts talking to him about other rishtas, but even if she doesnt I dont think its an easy thing to do. She needs to think about him, and not just her own needs and desires. If at some point she decides she wants to be with him, she can always contact him in the future to see if he is still interested.
Re: Keeping contact with a friend who has PROPOSED?
^ that guy will be a big looser, if she contacts him "later" in the future (i.e. when she knows the mooti asami ain't gonna happen) and he accepts her.
Thats SO true... especially back home. I personally saw stuff like that.... girls wanted to have a couple of guys "aage peeche" at all times to keep their options open.
That is not the reason she doesnt want to get married now. The reason why she doesnt want to get married now is that she is studying and also has an elder sister who her family wants married off first. Please people stop assuming things on your own that girls want couple of guys "aagay peechay" to keep their options open.
Re: Keeping contact with a friend who has PROPOSED?
**ise kahte haiN do naao pe paauuN. [sailing on twoboats] u can't do that! be a woman [like be a man!] and make a decision here N now!!! these are the women when they have proposals on the table then wanna wait and hunt for:
Khoob se hai Khoob tar kahaN!!!
and miss the boat [of their right age to marry] but refuse to accept and then they become "be-chaaris".
I think he did the right thing, sending the ball in her court. now its her right to decide. about a couple of years ago i had proposed a good friend of mine, she refused. but we have been good friends after that. sometimes we laugh about the whole episode.
a good friend is one that you can share anything with. and same qualities should be in a spouse too.
the maturity level of the guy should be kept in mind though. what kind of reaction will he produce is a big factor.
Re: Keeping contact with a friend who has PROPOSED?
Sorry but i do not understand female double standards, why i say that a year ago i started liking a very good friend of mine we have been friends for a lot of years now, any ways for the longest time i did not tell her anything but i did tell her that i liked this girl and always asked her as to what i should do? khair every single time i asked her that she said go for it, the worse that would happen is rejection and that wont be the end of the world so finally i built up the courage and proposed her one day and guess what not only did i get rejected i lost a good friend, what i dont understand is girls (specially in our desi culture) expect the guy to come forward with feelings as they would never take the first step but when a guy does that he becomes bad and not worth keeping friendship with.
Secondly DaffyD out of all the names in the whole wide world y did u choose DANIYAL :D. Saali meree kahani mujhee pey repeat !!!
ek to mujhey larkiyoon ka samjh nai ata EVERY gurl knws beforehand if a guy likes her or not…we pick up frm the way the guys talking dude IT GETS SO OBVIOUS! & u knw ur not intrested tht way say it bfr hand in other ways like tell him abt ur new fake crush,or say im not ready fr it nw in common conversation n if hes really dum thn say casually tht if i guy even asks me out rite now i wld have to say no im jut nt ready fr it or even tht im trying to hook u up wid my bestfrnd!!! gurls have 100000001 reasons of backing of n keeping dere frndship safe but they feed on the attention they getting bfrbeing asked out frm the guy they knw likes them n they let it go on fr too long till the cheewing gum breaks n he pops the question aftr tht even if u try the frnship cnt be same again…!!!
so for all the gurls PREVENTION IS BETTER! use ur typical xcuses thts our power lol
moral of the story … one stupid gal n 2 or more stupid guys…
true for some cases …