Re: Kaisa Susral!!!
*so joint family system is good only if you have a nice understanding family *:)
even then it doesnt make a difference........you get into fights and aruments living with your own family......so it's bound to happen with ur in-laws. Your family will forgive you and love you regardless.....but you cant say the same for your in-laws.
Re: Kaisa Susral!!!
I agree that a newly married couple may find inconvieniences living with elders and there may be the issue of privacy (or lack there of) but all these things are superficial and can be overcome. My advice to all the soon to be brides is to treat your in-laws as your own parents; and for the groom to be the kane for his parents so that they can enter and survive old age on a solid platform.
living with ur aging parents is one thing ....but living with the entire khandaan is entirely different.
Re: Kaisa Susral!!!
Aging parents obvioulsy need to be cared for, but most parents are not elderly when their children marry, and are still capable of caring for themselves. In such cases there is nothing wrong with the bride and groom living alone.
Also, if there are younger siblings living in the house, there is absolutely no reason for the new couple to be living in the house.
By the way, would you be just as willing to move in with your wife's family if they were the ones who were elderly and needed care?
Re: Kaisa Susral!!!
By the way, would you be just as willing to move in with your wife's family if they were the ones who were elderly and needed care?
i always ask that question myself. Caring for elderly parents should go both ways.
Re: Kaisa Susral!!!
Wow this is hard for me to comment on simply cos i have no susral whatsoeva. So its just me, hub and daughter. However my family live close by. I would like to have had a susral just to see what they would have been like(they would have been English). However the whole living with the in laws thing doesnt happen in their culture. I think there r pros and cons on both sides. I mean on the tap babysitting would b pretty cool-ha ha! My major concern would be what their expectations of me were if u know what i mean.
Re: Kaisa Susral!!!
Also, if there are younger siblings living in the house, there is absolutely no reason for the new couple to be living in the house. By the way, would you be just as willing to move in with your wife's family if they were the ones who were elderly and needed care?
If her parents didn't have a son and were in need of assistance then I would definitely do whatever I could to help; but moving in with them? Absolutely not! Them moving in with me and my wife? Its a possibility; probably a last option. Also, its not very practical as I'll have my own parents to look after.
Re: Kaisa Susral!!!
^ So is not practical to look after HER family? After all, htey had the bad luck to only have a daughteR and not a son..
If a guy loves his parents, he'll take care of them ,resect them no matter waht, whether he's living with them, or not. Likewise, someone who doesn't care for his family or is inconsiderate and selfish will be that way even IF they're living with their parents
Re: Kaisa Susral!!!
joint family system never worked for my parents. you gotta be really patient and sensible otheriwse yo will find yourself in bunch of crap.
Re: Kaisa Susral!!!
so what would the other options be? send em to a nursing home?
so ur saying ur parents come first and her parents are secondary? niiiiiceeee.
Re: Kaisa Susral!!!
[quote=Sara516
If a guy loves his parents, he'll take care of them ,resect them no matter waht, whether he's living with them, or not. Likewise, someone who doesn't care for his family or is inconsiderate and selfish will be that way even IF they're living with their parents[/quote]
Thats a good point. But I still prefer my parents lived with me.
Re: Kaisa Susral!!!
so ur saying ur parents come first and her parents are secondary? niiiiiceeee.
An intersting option would be hired help. Perhaps hiring a lady from back home to look after them; cook for them, etc etc.
I realize that it sounds quite one sided here in terms of whose parents are being looked after but I insist that elders in general should be taken care, no matter whose side their from. The only advantage my parents would have over my wifes would be that they live with me (us) and her parents live on their own. But in terms of financial support, care, get-togethers etc, it would all be equal.
One of the greatest naikees in life is too take care of the elderly; they're present will be our tomorrow. I always keep this in mind and it keeps me humble.
Re: Kaisa Susral!!!
WoW! Do you realize how much you're contradicting yourself? Ideally you'll stick your wife's parents in a home or have hired help. Why not the same for your parents? Guys like you cry and whine that girl sshould love their inlaws like their own parents, but when it comes to her own parents, they deserve to suffer because of their "disadvantage" by being looked after by strangers? If it's all so equal, why don't you live alone? Obviously your parents will get equal care in terms of finance, care, get together etc.
It's funny to hear you talk bt naikee and humbleness when everything you said was full of blatant hypocrisy.
Re: Kaisa Susral!!!
^ I'm not gonna have the same old argument with you, Sara.
Re: Kaisa Susral!!!
ure a hypocrite. admit it.
Buh bye! 
Re: Kaisa Susral!!!
Perhaps you’re envious of being a male?
Don’t worry, women have a lot of advantages too.
Its just that when it comes to family structure, men have the final decision :). Don’t fight it; its just the way it is. 
Re: Kaisa Susral!!!
i think joint family system is much better
Re: Kaisa Susral!!!
even i think so but there are huge disadvantages and advantages.