how many of u (or people u may know) have been Divorced and r happy being Divorced rather then staying married for the sake of parents
Was it there own choice to get separate and how did they deal with pressure from parents?
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Hy CE.
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I kno one person ... the marriage was a disaster ... the grl was ruining his life and pretty much has ... so his parents were kinda behind him ... and he was really depressed and stuff for a month but now hes actually doing much much better
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I don't know any divorcee... but would like to hear from others who may know as well...
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One of my uncles divorced his wife of 20 years. They had some serious issues, although he is more happy with his life and can concentrate more on his career and family he regrets getting divorced because it has really affected his daughters. One ended up staying with him and the other moving away to a different city to live with her mother. He wishes he had have stuck with the marriage now, purely so both his daughters would be near him.
how many of u (or people u may know) have been Divorced and r happy being Divorced rather then staying married for the sake of parents
Was it there own choice to get separate and how did they deal with pressure from parents?
I know of several desi woman who were divorced and have remarried and are MashaAllah very happy.
I even know of desi men who were divorced and have remarried and are happy. LOL......although our culture does make it easier for divorced desi men to settle down again.
Relationships don't come with a guarantee. And although it's easier said than done, life will still go on. It doesn't stop for anyone.....no matter how hurt you are.
As far as desi log looking down on others for being divorced.......n giving taanay..........I believe in the power of what goes around comes around. Ridicule someone for their hardships...........and God just might hit with you something equally nasty (or worse).
Affects of divorce vary. While for some, it creates challenges.....for others, it's a source of relief.
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I know of several desi woman who were divorced and have remarried and are MashaAllah very happy.
I even know of desi men who were divorced and have remarried and are happy. LOL......
RV - where do you live? I definitely do not want to move there!
"Know of several divorced people" is a topographical issue.
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i know one lady in her late 40's. she asked for divorce about 5 years ago and got one. she seems to be happy with 2 teenage daughters. what i see is this...the absense of father figure in the house has left daughters without a direction. mother is too busy making the ends meet. the older daughter lost a year coz she did not apply for admission in the university for lack of interest. i don't think mother motivates them enuf. she herself said once that she can not wait 10 years for daughters to finish their educaton and she wants to marry them off quickly...is that like shrugging off her responsibilty? a formal education is a must in today's time.
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Lots of peoplefrom my dad's side of the family have been divorced and remarried. Some have even divorced 2-3 wives. I'm actually quite happy for those women because being married to a jerk is not worth it who can't get over the fact of how perfect he is. As for the second half of the question, it was always their own choice apart from one case who's whole family wanted him to divorce his wife. Reason being the wife was really prety and the ugly sisters in law couldn't stand her for a minute so they used to poison the brother's ears 24/7. Sad but it happens.
Not sure how accurate these situations are, of 'I know of a person who knows a person who is divorced and happy'.
From what I have seen, we desi people make it so difficult for divorced people. I mean not only do they have to go through an ugly divorce, and deal with so many problems, but to top it off, they are shunned and put down at every chance. I loath that.
I think we've come a long way. But I have yet to meet more than two divorced people, who have finally come to terms with things. And are content. This in itself has taken years.
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I have an aunt who is divorced and raising 4 kids as a single mother. As much as everyone in the family tries to help her, she is still struggling. Her husband was a jerk who left her for some gori woman. Its pretty sad. The thing is, her situation kinda relates to the situation khalil described cuz she has 3 daughters and a son. The kids r all very young... oldest daughter is 14 and the youngest son is 5. Not having a fatherly figure at home has kinda made the 2 older girls (14 and 12) to do some stupid stuff. I mean stuff like having boyfriends at that age n wat not... obviously, all the adults in the family r unaware of this but us kids know everything through their facebook n wat not. They even go to school and change their clothes to the clothes their mother wouldnt approve of. I havent told my aunt directly abt this but I have warned her several times to keep an eye on her daughters.
I feel that my aunt is kinda to be blamed as well cuz once I went to her house and she told me to drive her older daughter and her friend to the mall cuz they had to do some shopping. I went to pick up her friend at her house and her friend was wearing the shortest skirt I have EVER seen in my life... this girl is only 14 and she was showing her undies to the world. Anyways, I drop them off and ask my cousin if she needed some money knowing how her mom is going through some financial problems and she took $20 from me. I came back to my aunt's house n told her how short her daughter's frdz skirt was and she should actually keep an eye on who her daughter is hanging around with.. randomly in the conversation, she tells me that she had given her $100 for shopping. I was shocked! I kinda yelled at my aunt for handing that much money over to a 14 yr old knowing that she is going through financial crises. She goes ohh beta she said she needs to buy stuff for her school project and I told her how dumb can u get... who needs $100 for a grade 8 school project? I was so mad that the girl even took $20 from me on top of having $100..she lied that she didnt have enough from her mom. I didnt tell my aunt but I told my mom abt the $20 and my mom goes beta if they had a father that wouldnt happen.. but I still feel that its kinda my aunt's fault too..besides all the warnings n stuff she still pretends like she didnt see anything. My dad saw a pic of this girl in her bra cuz he was using my laptop and she came online and my msn was open n she msged thinking its me and she had this up on her display pic... my dad was furious and actually spoke to her mother abt this. she didnt get in any trouble..
i have been off topic lol. anyways, but yea, my point was that being divorced & leaving her kids without a fatherly figure at home has apparently resulted in this for my aunt.
RV - where do you live? I definitely do not want to move there!
"Know of several divorced people" is a topographical issue.
Masti......"couple" refers to the number "two." The word "several" refers to 3 or more. No need to panic.
For all you know.........it could be that I know of a couple of divorced desis in the US......and couple of divorced desis in Pak.........and a total of 4-6 being worded as "several" might seem like a hundred to you, lol.
Majority of the desis I know have not been divorced. BUT........alhumdolillah......as opposed to freaking out...........the positive here is that the divorced individuals I know of are MashaAllah se very happy and settled.
Only recently........a friend of mine.......who was divorced several years ago......for petty reasons..... got married again. Life will always go on....in some form or another. I've seen some women are divorced....and seem stronger/happier than their married counterparts. How do you measure happiness? So many factors contribute to it. Happiness is not dependent upon marriage.......(there ARE miserable couples out there). Happiness comes from within yourself.
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When I divorced my first husband I felt SO very happy and SO very free. I had an adorable tiny apartment in Manhattan and was doing really great with my career but was considering Peace Corps or Navy. I had the whole world open to me, I felt like I could do ANYthing.
Best and happiest ending is that i met my prince. And we had 3 beautiful boys together.
Best decision I ever made.
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Thnx everyone for sharing ur stories/experiences