Re: just wondering.....
some people i know are doing very well and some are in the worse situation.
Re: just wondering.....
Divorce is rough, yes.
However, if done for the right reasons...it can be a blessing.
I know of people personally that are divorced. They are much better off without partners that took away from their life rather then added quality to it.
Re: just wondering.....
how often do everyday married couples think of divorce?
I think it's probably more often.. but they just do not carry on the act.
Re: just wondering.....
I would destroy my father if he left my mom.
Re: just wondering.....
A few days ago their fights got that bad that he voiced the idea of leaving. I told him sure but then he will never see me again and I'll leave him to starve in little Havana.
I don't get how you leave your wife after 20 years of marriage. I don't care how unhappy you are. It is irresponsible.
Re: just wondering.....
^but PYG - the 20 years starts out from one, two, three... a lot of people hold on to marriage for kids... so kids have both parents in their lives and don't call parents selfish for seperating for their own look out. Once kids grow up.. the time is around 20 years.... so I don't think a man and a woman just wakes up one day after 20 years to seperate. they probably held on for that long and they probably feel now is a good time.
everyone's circumstance is different...no one should judge the years of marriage and keep them responsible to keep put forever.
^but PYG - the 20 years starts out from one, two, three... a lot of people hold on to marriage for kids... so kids have both parents in their lives and don't call parents selfish for seperating for their own look out. Once kids grow up.. the time is around 20 years.... so I don't think a man and a woman just wakes up one day after 20 years to seperate. they probably held on for that long and they probably feel now is a good time.
everyone's circumstance is different...no one should judge the years of marriage and keep them responsible to keep put forever.
AGREE!! PCG u shud probably think from his POV. i think its v harsh of u to say that u will leave him to starve in havana and all... thaz not a gud thing to say dun u think? yeah disowning and not meetin him is fine i guess but him being older than u i think he can take care of himself and wudnt b starvin hopefully without ur mom :)
Re: just wondering…
well, it all depends on ppl, In college i had a friend who was one of the best person you can hang out with, she was a year or so older than me but i really respected her and used to call her baji, khair a year later one of my close friends started liking her and he told me, now me being the good guy i am tried to talk to baji and found out that she was a divorcee, and to be honest i was shocked and had no idea how to react and on top of that she told me she did not wanna be in a relationship of any sort, khair i asked her one day as to what happened and she told me how she was married to her cousin ( love marriage mind you ) and pata nahi Allah kee marzee thee ya pata nahi she could not concieve, khair the guys mom started tanaybaazi and started giving her son ideas of a second marriage, khair when finally my friend had had it she decided to call it quits and come back to canada to her parents and to be honest if you met this girl and had no idea about her past you would never guess that she had so much baggage, lekin 2 yrs later she got married and MashaAllah is a mother of 2 kids with someone else and even happier. But on the other hand i have seen bad cases as well but y mention negative things anyways 
Re: just wondering.....
One of my friend's mom got divorced when my friend was 6 months old (she's 29 now) and she was in US then. Aunty came back here, got an admission in a medical college, and is a successful gynae consultant now and never remarried. My friend has almost completed her residency in same field as well. We have always seen aunty seem happy about it rather i should say too busy with her job and studies to think about it?
Re: just wondering.....
note to self: never adopt pcg :p
Re: just wondering.....
i really wouldn't trust stories about 'i kwno someone who knows someone etc'.
divorce is really not an easy thing to live through but then staying in a miserable marriage isn't easy either. its really one fo the toughest decisions to make to break up or stay together.
personally, i'd rather die first than get a divorce.
chha gayeen SARA, thats what i like to hear :k: Allah tumhein khush rakhay, Aameen :k:
Re: just wondering.....
In the past women would endure so much pain and heartache by remaining in marriages that were destructive. As society has developed, women in our community are no longer standing for this abusive kind of treatment. For women like that I fully understand why divorce is a way out.
On the other hand, I think people take relationships too lightly. There's no working through problems or exhausting every possible avenue until divorce is considered. People don't have the patience like they used to. Nowadays it's all too easy for people to walk away from a relationship when faced with an easily resolvable issue.
No-one really knows what is right, except those in that position. They are the ones who go through the problems on a daily basis and only they know what is right for them.
Nobody should have to suffer in a relationship that is destructive.
i really wouldn't trust stories about 'i kwno someone who knows someone etc'.
divorce is really not an easy thing to live through but then staying in a miserable marriage isn't easy either. its really one fo the toughest decisions to make to break up or stay together.
personally, i'd rather die first than get a divorce.
Im assuming ur saying tht bcoz u lov ur husband, and both very much want to b together. but would it still be the same if u was in a unhappy marriage and really didnt see a future with him?
Re: just wondering.....
One of my cousins had a forced marriage, everyone knew she didn't want to get married to the guy but her father just wouldn't take no as an answer. they got married but she refused to sleep in the same room as him and returned back home the very first night. becoz the wedding cards had already gone out they had to stage the walima. after a year or so she got married to another cousin and mash-Allah is much happier with 2 children.