I have this personality flaw…i get irritable quite easily. Last night i came home from uni at 9:30pm. I live with my inlaws and husband so even though i was very tired i couldnt just go to bed. I made rotis..we ate dinner..then i had to clean up…I wasnt in a good mood becuz i was tired and i just wanted to hurry up and go to sleep. My husband kept bugging me with silly conversation…and i was sorta rude to him..It made him angry and now hes not talking to me. This isnt the first time this has happend. we have quite a few of these episodes. He is tired of it and so am i. I love him but sometimes he needs to understand that i need my personal space. When i am not in the mood to talk he shouldnt try to bug me about it.
He said ’ u have a serious attitude problem..i was only joking around with u and u get all rude with me…something is wrong with u"…I tried explaining to him why i did what i did but instead he just said “jahanum mai jao” and went to bed. Hes never used that language with me ever. Hes usually quite soft spoken. That hurt sooo much.
I dont know what to make of this…Am i to blame? I cant change my personality..i cant put on a cheery face and be all witty and talkative when i have so much going on in my mind.
Sometimes i just wish i never got married.
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I read your journal hun… i’m guessing things are not okay yet?
Have you tried sitting down and talking to him? That you have lots to do and it’s not easy for you to handle everything all at once?
It’s pretty insensitive of him to say “you’re not the only woman who has a baby and a job.” He has to realize, that maybe you are not able to handle every single thing, esp since your in laws are lazy asses who don’t do a thing to help you out..
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hahahahha you can be rude to him and yet you expect him not to use that language. You both need to understand each other, you cant demand that he understands you without you giving it your best shot too. Like you have admit yourself you get irritated easily, well work on it. I dont know how but you should.
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okay i just read Saras reply, i dont know if my still counts if he says things like that :o
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^ yah but can u blame her for getting rude and impatietn with him? him and his family arnt xactly helping things
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I havent read her journal so my reply is gonna be based on what i read here :o
I think that its really hard, taking care of in-laws and a baby and working, but arent these choices she made in life? Its not like her husband forced her to marry him? Isn't a fact that its hard to manage it all at the saem time? She needs to find a way to manage her life. Find a way to maybe divide up the chores, if the in-laws arent helping then talk to her hubby, getting rude with him and givign him attitude is only gonna make them grow farther apart not together to solve her problems. And its not ALL his fault.
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We all have our good days and bad days. I think the main problem here has to do with communication. When you're feeling better and you think he is too, tell your husband you didn't mean to be rude but you were really tired and when you're that exhausted, you just want to go straight to bed and aren't in the mood for small talk. I'm sure there are also times when he isn't in the mood to talk and remind him of that.
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its really hard im sure in the beginning of marriage..esp when u have in laws..u probably never feel as if you have free time for yourself...
explain to ur husband that it is easier for him they are his parents...and he must understand adjustment is hard...
everyday activities like cooking and cleaning..esp after work is exhausting...especially when you have inlaws around..
maybe ask your husband to help you clean up..or entertain his parents while u clean can make it easier
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you need time off from each other, to cool down and then realize each other's point. if u are or he is tired, best thing is a cup of coffee and being silent. talking over the weaknesses or personal space issue has to be done with a coll mind and sincere hearts.
best,
Dushi
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yea i think its ur fault, gals alwayz snap at ther hubby's...a guy can i take soo much crap frm his wife
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^ Maybe if the guy showed a litlte care for her then she wudnt snap at him
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Clubber Lang, No. Not all girls snap at their husbands.. . It really depends on the two people in the marriage. You do enough to frustrate someone, and you will get snapped at.
VoLarki, I just read your journal entry and If, God forbid, my husband was saying that he wishes he had never gotten married, I would go take a long look in the mirror and try to understand what we're both doing wrong for him to feel like that.
I really think you should talk to him about this. Be completely open and honest and see how he reacts. If you see him try to work on this issue, then that's awesome and both of you can start solving it. If his response is more accusations and blame and how you're not living up to what he had in mind, then I don't know what to tell you babe. You can only solve an issue in a marriage if BOTH people are willing to openly listen to each other, if both people realize that the other one is NOT out to get them, if both people understand that the point isn't to blame each other, make the other person feel guilty, toss accusations . . . the point is to solve the issue.
Again, this can only be done if both of you are willing to work at it.
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I think your husband did/is doing the right thing. You should consider yourself fortunate that your husband wants to talk to you and have converstations with you. There are other husbands out there that wake up, go to work, come home and eat, and then go to sleep. Consider yourself fortunate. Infact, if I were your husband I wouldn't talk to you for DAYS!!!. Batameezi from a women has no place in a marriage.
Also, if you think your life is too busy then why not get your priorities straight? How about stop working and give more attention to your BABY? Your HUSBAND?
Come on yar, it seems like you have a good husband, try being a good wife :).
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^ And what if the hubby and/or his family are the ones making her work outside the home AND expecting her to do everything at home while they sit back and relax on their own fat asses? It’s certainly possible. 
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^ In that case, the husband should take control and say that "My wife isn't working"; the idea of a wife working is not of the in-laws but usually of the wife itself (or maybe the husband if financially things aren't adding up).
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Not always; there are ppl who want their bahu's to work (because she'd be bringing in extra money for htem) even though whatever money she earns is technically her own.
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^ perhaps; in that case the DIL should have no respect for the inlaws.
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And anyway, i was saying if the hubby was the one pressuring her to work [IF that is the case] and then if she can't handle everything and then telling her that "hey you're not the only woman who has a baby and works", and not even helping her and lecturing her on improving herself (as if he's perfect), that's not a good husband.
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Also, if you think your life is too busy then why not get your priorities straight? How about stop working and give more attention to your BABY? Your HUSBAND?
Come on yar, it seems like you have a good husband, try being a good wife :).
What a load of rubbish....grow up!
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Y is always the guy's fault? She snapped at him when he didn't do anything...as far as I can tell It's her fault, but she shud look at the bright side, she won't have to engage in the conversations she dreads, so everything worked out for the best.