pinks maybe he avoids giving you input and advice when you need it because maybe he thinks he is not culturally competent enough to do os. maybe he thinks he is lacking in soemthing that you might have like i don't know the cultural knowledge you have andmaybe even intelligence ebcause after all all of your education is from here and all of his is from paksitani however highly educated he is.
maybe he first needs to be comfortable and confident in the relationship 100 percent before he can feel himself equal to you in all aspects and be able to give you good advice.
if in all other rsepects you see him as fit then maybe you both need little more time.
but you know best your situation. just don't rush into a decision. tink it through before calling it off.
^ yeh i agree
give it time
this is just the beginning of ur relationship
for me n my fiance we r stil learning about eachother n i still feel that the only way i will actually get to know him is wen we get married
n guys r the most shy around girls whom they like n always free with everyone else
so maybe thats why hes talkative with other ppl
u gotta give it time girl.. look at me im 3 yrs n counting...
n only listen to urself n ur parents n not to others
i had n stil have ppl who talk bout how they would never marry a guy from pak but i dont care becuz in the end God decides our rishtas so just pray to God n everything wil be fine
thanks alot girls
i guess u take other more seriosuly than ur own .. my sister sed the same thing but i thought she was just saying it!1 i wunt make any hasty decision because i dunt want regret any it later on! im going to give it some time and see where it takes me .. i hope watever happens.. happens for the best inshallah!
Thanx for your reply. I just wanted to wish you the best of luck with everything, just hang on in there. Just remember that everything happens for the best and keep faith, inshallah it will work out. My prayers are with you. Also take advantage of your sisters advice and support!
yeh i have kinda talked to my mom abt it but she thinks hes perfect for me! its hardd to have hour long conversations because of long distance.. its expensive nd plus i think dats how u get close to a person wen u talk for a long time not 10mins
Oh hun I understand. Parents usually try to do the best for us & usually think they r right (90% of the time they r ) At least she knows what u think. Rest future will depict. As far as the conversations thing goes. If u live in U.S then try making an account with Raza.com they offer different packages. Pretty reasonable. In fact they also offer this plan where u can give them a number for Pakistan (maybe yr fiance's cell) & people can call u from that number & the charge is less.
True u get close only if u talk for more than a couple of minutes. Let me tell u this i met hubby online. we talked over the phone as well as online. Alhumdulillah things went well. As some people suggested u can take the online route but still use the phone though. Communication can be in any form as long as there IS a communication & make sure there is some.
Also since this is just the begining go with the flow. Believe me it takes some good long time to really get those vibes. Its gonna take some time for him to really open up too. Sometimes guys dun wanna scare the girl either. U r living in the west where we girls automatically expect the guy to be open & bold. Things back home can be different some times.
I would suggest NOT telling him yr concerns so early. U dun wanna throw him off either as u never know this could be the best thing happening to u :)
A few of my friends suggested reading "MEn are from mars, Women are from Venus". Apparently it helps you understand things from a guys perspective and hence helps you understand your relationship!
thanks zebs.. i dunt want to hurt my parents by making the decision that will hurt.. pray that it works out wit him!
thanks for the advice Bint_e_Naeem](http://www.paklinks.com/gs/members/bint_e_naeem.html)! yeh ur right i always expected the guy to open up nd make the 1st move cus its always like that here nd plus i am shy person so its even harder to just blab everything to him! i expected him to just open up to me and make me feel comfortable with him but dat didnt happen!
but i did tell him my concern as the other members suggested nd he didnt take it the wrong way! he kept sayin sorry and it kinda got me happy knowing that he accpeted his mistake nd at the end of the convo he sed he will try to make it work
i have noticed that hes very reserved nd i duno WHY!! i ask him stuff dat wud involve some conversation but he wud end just by giving one word answerr! nd i dunt have a fresh mouth so i get nervous nd than it becomes awkward!
i need to find a way to get comfortable talking to him nd improve the awkwardness???
why not use this period to get to know him? Do you call him and stuff?
but how can you get to know the person if somtimes he's not willing to open up!!!! he moslty agrees wit watever i say... i duno if hes just saying it for the heck of it or really mean it??
gud thing u only got engaged..... i got married and came back and realized oh i actually got married.....that was the time when i woke up but it was too late i was already married
i thought i was the only one who went to pakistan and some how everything was rushed and i never got a chance to sit down and think what am i doing. or at least talk to him before marriage about certain things or plan a little......
but after coming to this forum i figured i am not the only one and this is not uncommon....
it did relaxed me a bit....
congradz btw....
as for my side i would advice you to observe him......dont talk but let him talk so you can understand him, his personality but do keep in mind that there is no such thing as a perfect person
let him put an effort in this relationship and try to find out how genuine he is with you. Leave the rest on Allah.
gud thing u only got engaged..... i got married and came back and realized oh i actually got married.....that was the time when i woke up but it was too late i was already married
i thought i was the only one who went to pakistan and some how everything was rushed and i never got a chance to sit down and think what am i doing. or at least talk to him before marriage about certain things or plan a little......
but after coming to this forum i figured i am not the only one and this is not uncommon....
it did relaxed me a bit....
congradz btw....
as for my side i would advice you to observe him......dont talk but let him talk so you can understand him, his personality but do keep in mind that there is no such thing as a perfect person
let him put an effort in this relationship and try to find out how genuine he is with you. Leave the rest on Allah.
Congradulations!
congrads to u too! i guess i wasnt mentally prepared for it but now i m making sure im prepared for my marriage!
hope everything is working out for u.. is it hard to communicate wit him? do u get along or it took time?
