I’ve been friends with this guy for over 4 years. I used to like him before that, and even during the time we’ve been friends until another friend asked him out. Even though I liked him I wouldn’t have gone forward anyway since he isn’t a muslim… and I don’t date.
My “friend” that asked him out started having fights with him for being so close to me, she told him to either break up with her or break up with me. He decided he valued our friendship more than his relationship with her. (which was surprising cos she is HOT, I would’ve broken up with me if I was in his place).
Now I’m engaged to another guy, but this friend is acting strange. I don’t know what he wants. Sometimes he acts like he doesn’t care and sometimes he just doesn’t want to let go of me, like he doesn’t even want to think about the fact that I’m getting married to someone else.
I’ve tried breaking up with this guy, but I can’t, he’s like one of my bestest friends now. What the hell is wrong with him?!
I've been friends with this guy for over 4 years. I used to like him before that, and even during the time we've been friends until another friend asked him out. Even though I liked him I wouldn't have gone forward anyway since he isn't a muslim... and I don't date. ** My "friend" that asked him out started having fights with him for being so close to me, she told him to either break up with her or break up with me. *He decided he valued our friendship more than his relationship with her. *(which was surprising cos she is HOT,** I would've broken up with me if I was in his place). Now I'm engaged to another guy, but this friend is acting strange. I don't know what he wants. Sometimes he acts like he doesn't care and sometimes he just doesn't want to let go of me, like he doesn't even want to think about the fact that I'm getting married to someone else. I've tried breaking up with this guy, but I can't, he's like one of my bestest friends now. What the hell is wrong with him?!
You two have been with each other too long and have become used to of each other.
It is better for you to cut off all ties with him.
You are getting married and he needs to grow up and be on his own for his sake also.
I've been friends with this guy for over 4 years. I used to like him before that, and even during the time we've been friends until another friend asked him out. Even though I liked him I wouldn't have gone forward anyway since he isn't a muslim... and I don't date. My "friend" that asked him out started having fights with him for being so close to me, she told him to either break up with her or break up with me. He decided he valued our friendship more than his relationship with her. *(which was surprising cos she is HOT, I would've broken up with me if I was in his place). * Now I'm engaged to another guy, but this friend is acting strange. I don't know what he wants. Sometimes he acts like he doesn't care and sometimes he just doesn't want to let go of me, like he doesn't even want to think about the fact that I'm getting married to someone else. I've tried breaking up with this guy, but I can't, he's like one of my bestest friends now. What the hell is wrong with him?!
You need to develop more confidence instead of putting yourself down. Who is hot and who is not....varies from person to person. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Also, it seems that beauty is not the only thing that matters to your friend. Obviously personality counts for a whole lot.....perhaps more than looks....which is why he dumped his former girlfriend. He didn't like being given an ultimatum by her. Very few people (men or women) like to be given ultimatums where they have to choose between relationships.....it can give a "control freak" impression.
Anyhow, you're going to be getting married. It's not fair to guy that you're engaged to......if you're going to be dwelling over your friend and trying to "figure" him out. Since he's not Muslim, there's no "future" in this relationship, it won't even be valid. You're hurting yourself by analyzing his every action and word (as tempting as it is). If you weren't emotionally ready to get married.....then you shouldn't have gotten engaged. But now that you're engaged, I think it's better if you cut.....or at the very least considerably reduce contact with your friend. And use this time to bond with your fiance.
You can wonder all you want about your friend's current wishy washy/strange behavior and mixed signals. You might even be feel flattered at the possibility that he could have feelings for you. But where will that lead to? It won't go anywhere. You may feel sympathy that your friend is having a hard time dealing with your upcoming marriage......but that won't lead you anywhere either. You can either distance yourself from your friend and try to connect with your fiance and make you relationship stronger with him........or if you feel that it's hard for you to reciprocate your fiance's feelings then maybe you should reconsider getting married (cuz it's not fair to him).
Re: Just friends?
Nothing wrong with ''him'' , its wrong with ''you'' . When a guy and girl communicate , they exactly know where this whole relationship is going . Turning a blind eye doesn't really help .
I'll suggest you should talk to him , face to face , and tell him that there wasn't anything and there won't be any . He needs a closure .
Re: Just friends?
It goes back to the age old question of whether guys and girls can be friends and it seems between the two of you there were mixed and possibly changing signals over time, with each of you viewing the friendship differently at different points in time.
When you've committed yourself in a relationship to someone else, sometimes you have to end friendships with people of the opposite gender just to avoid actual or potential conflicts. This may not sound "fair", but it's a matter of priorities and who holds a more important place in your life - your friend or your fiance.
Re: Just friends?
seems to me that you have been leading this poor guy on for 4 years.
Nothing wrong with ''him'' , its wrong with ''you'' . When a guy and girl communicate , they exactly know where this whole relationship is going . Turning a blind eye doesn't really help .
I'll suggest you should talk to him , face to face , and tell him that there wasn't anything and there won't be any . He needs a closure .
Yes. :)
Me likey U put "inverted commas" there..
Has your fiance met this friend or does he know about him?
One thing is clear, your friend wants to keep you in his life, he's used to you. If you're serious about your engagement, you need to talk to this friend of yours. Explain to him that you're getting married and you might not be able to hang out or talk as much... that these things are perceived differently in our culture and can complicate a marriage. I agree with Namaan, you need to give him some sort of closure... either take him out of your life completely or let him know your priorities have shifted more toward your fiance, you won't see the friend as much as before.
You also need to figure out your feelings. You know that you have no future with your friend. So don't be flattered if you find out he likes you.
Who do you like right now, your friend or your fiance? If your answer is your friend, then avoid him and spend more time with the fiance- figure out if you want to marry him.
seems to me that you have been leading this poor guy on for 4 years.
I kind of agree with that. Maybe unintentionally. But yea first of all you need to find out what you really feel. I think your hiding your own feelings from yourself. and after that talk to your friend.
Bacha bara hogaya hai…
The issue is very simple. He has feelings for you and is struggling with how to deal with them.
My suggestion is for you to have a talk with him…be open and ask him what he is thinking…what is wrong. When and if he actually comes clean…tell him openly you are getting married and can no longer continue being best friends. Its for his best and your own. Leave this drama out of your marriage and brand new life you’re about to start.
I personally do not agree with anyone who suggests she should talk with him before cutting off.
As it is:
She has no feelings for him.
He has no feelings (as we know or are made aware of) for her.
Why do we want her to contact him just tell goodbye?
She has no feelings for him and even she does have, she is engaged to and will be married to someone else.
She should just go “cold Turkey” on it.
And if she does not and her future husband finds out she is in bigger trouble.
So, no contact with this guy friend ever in her lifetime is the only solution.
And more importantly: If she has no plan to let this man go out of her life, then she better tell her to be husband clearly about him.
No if, and or but there.
Akhir app ka student jo hoon 
I personally do not agree with anyone who suggests she should talk with him before cutting off.
As it is:
She has no feelings for him.
He has no feelings (as we know or are made aware of) for her.
Why do we want her to contact him just tell goodbye?
She has no feelings for him and even she does have, she is engaged to and will be married to someone else.
She just go "old Turkey on it.
And if she does not and her future husband finds out she is in bigger trouble.
So, no contact with this guy friend ever in her lifetime is the only solution.
And more importantly: If she has no plan to let this man go out of her life, then she better tell her to be husband clearly about him.
No if, and or but there.
Cutting off cold turkey with someone who she considers one of her best friends for 4 years?? She should be firm and completely open in her communication with him and reduce contact with him.
I've been friends with this guy for over 4 years. I used to like him before that, and even during the time we've been friends until another friend asked him out. Even though I liked him I wouldn't have gone forward anyway since he isn't a muslim... and I don't date. My "friend" that asked him out started having fights with him for being so close to me, she told him to either break up with her or break up with me. He decided he valued our friendship more than his relationship with her. (which was surprising cos she is HOT, I would've broken up with me if I was in his place). Now I'm engaged to another guy, but this friend is acting strange. I don't know what he wants. Sometimes he acts like he doesn't care and sometimes he just doesn't want to let go of me, like he doesn't even want to think about the fact that I'm getting married to someone else. I've tried breaking up with this guy, but I can't, he's like one of my bestest friends now. What the hell is wrong with him?!
What do you mean what the hell is wrong with him?! What the hell is wrong with YOU more like. Your engaged. Your going to get married. Its obvious this guy likes you, Hence he finished his own girl for YOU. Now YOU have to make your choice who do you want? This friend or the guy your going to get married too.
If you see this going somewhere then go for it. However if you dont then just leave it. Move on, Your gonna get married so let go of the friendship too. Obviously he doesnt see this as 'just friends'
Now this reminds me of “Hum Tum” and “hitch” 
hehehe…kia larkay aur larkian kabhi dost hosktay hain :halo:
But jokes apart…let me tell you…husband or fiance does not like his girlie be closed to any other guy…whether its “just friends” or whoever…there should be a limit n they demand it 
In your case…it seems that you know the answer yourself where the problem lies…he “seems” to take interest in you…but i would really recommend you to talk to this guy…n tell him that this relationship cannot go any further and go for goodByes…its verryy important that you break all ties with this person before you get married to avoid any explanation to your betterhalf as if you continue your friendship with this guy…your hubby will have all the rights to know about it…n trust me…no matter how broad minded he is…he wont like you to be friends with this guy…with whom you have been in contact for 4 yrs (even if he doesnt express it openly)…so its better to close this chapter of your life once n for all before the beginning of another wonderful chapter of your life…
All the best
Re: Just friends?
I feel bad for your poor fiance. You are clearly not ready to get married if you still asking this question. Would you like it if your future husband was doing this to you?
Re: Just friends?
***It seems like your still clinging to him and even though you say there isn't or can't be a relationship between the two of you , it gives you satisfaction that this person is secretly pining away for you.
As a friend if you knew about his interest in this other girl and the fact that she asked him to stay away from you then you as a friend should have given them the space and allow them to grow in that relationship.
IF you're already engaged , it would be advisable for you to try to distance yourself from him so both you and him can start to form other relationships.
Sometimes when you know a person well and are on the same wavelength and comfort level then its difficult to break away from that comfort zone and nurture other relationships because of the security of the present relationship.
I feel bad for your poor fiance. You are clearly not ready to get married if you still asking this question. Would you like it if your future husband was doing this to you?
Well... LALA land did say she "liked" him, not that she "likes" him. She stopped liking her friend when he went out with that other girl. But since he broke up with that girl, perhaps her feelings for her friend were renewed. Maybe she's in denial of it and covering it up by saying that the guy is acting strange... only she knows if she still likes the friend over the fiance.
I've been friends with this guy for over 4 years. I used to like him **before that, and even during the time we've been friends **until another friend asked him out. Even though I liked him I wouldn't have gone forward anyway since he isn't a muslim... and I don't date.
OK. Warm turkey?
What I said is that keeping the relationship with him while she is being married to someone else without informing to her future husband the ‘nature’ of relationship is potentially very harmful.
People who smoke cigarette over so many years consider cigarette to be their ‘friend’ or ‘companion’. At some point they need to quit cold turkey style! The best way to stop. Otherwise there is a chance of relapse.
OK this does not mean the guy friend is a cigarette 
but he is an addiction for her right?
Any such person should work hard to build close relation with the spouse rather than worrying about ‘old friends’.
Re: Just friends?
Ok, first of all my fiance knows about this guy. He knows I've been friends with him for so long, because I've been friends with my fiance for longer, however, the two have never met because fiance is in pakistan. And yes, I totally love my fiance.
Secondly, I HAVE been trying to keep a distance from him. He asks me to meet him every week, I've only seen him once at a work party thing last week after ages (we work part-time at the same place, I try to book in on days he isn't there) and during this party he kept drifting towards me, even if I move away to chat to someone else he makes his way beside me! After the party I started talking to him about my fiance, about how I said yes, since the whole thing just happened recently...then my mother called me and told me to come home and make her roti.
@ soundarya
I didn't speak to him for about 3 months when he started going out with the girl, I just bumped into him in town one day after uni and he got angry at me for ignoring him. Soon after that he got a job at my workplace, you can guess the rest.
When exams started he wanted me to to tutor him and we had only been studying together about once a week for 3 weeks when he recieved that ultimatum over the phone, and in front of me. His girlfriend (also my friend) had come over to my house that evening and she told me what happened, what his answer was, and she sat there crying in my arms for ages. She told me she was sorry for asking him out when she knew I liked him.
I should probably find time alone with him so I can talk to him properly. I can't break up with him. He's one of the few people I can really count on, and I to him. Something he told me himself just last week. =S Before I started my discussion about fiance-ji
Thanks for the advise guys..