I was having a discussion with my colleagues today.. when we shared our views about marriage, we all had the same thoughts… None of them wanted to get married ever (if given choice).. They thought marriage takes away all ur independence. Each one of them was of the view that they dun want to live that life full of unwanted compromises, they cant simply bear that, those restrictions over small things, cooking , washing clothes all the time, for them it was impossible to bear that…
It made me think that, are these the reasons for increasing divorce rate today in our society?..Girls are not ready to do those compromises that our mothers or grandmothers did.. we can’t even think of it.. what’s right and what’s not ?
When we are young that's when we think we don't want to get married, compromise or loose our freedom. But as we grow and mature, we realise we have to get married. Life would be sooo boring if one decide to stay single forever. I mean, there is always a time when we find that 'perfect' person and decide to settle down. :D
Now what I believe why divorce is increasing these days is that people are loosing fear of Allah. Disputes in marriages mostly occurs when rights of one is not fulfilled , abuse (physical & emotional) and cheating. I believe such acts are only done by people who don't fear Allah and don't follow the religion practically. It's not just men who are wrong doers .....women are too. I have actually known 3 women (indirectly) who cheated on their husband and took divorce and they were married with kids. It's not just women who suffers. In case of women I believe most of the divorce takes place because of physical , emotional , verbal & financial abuse. Believe me it's not easy to live every minute of your life suffering & dying. There can be a thousand other reasons for divorce. For men they don't hesitate in divorcing because they know that they'll get another wife and they'll have another house hold and new children. For women it's not that easy so I don't think women take divorce just because they can't compromise , they take it because they can not really live with the abuse any more.
Plus , I don't think anyone would take a divorce just because she can't wash clothes and dishes and can not clean the house. These are such petty issues and can be resolved if both husband and wife are willing to make their marriage work.
Now what I believe why divorce is increasing these days is that people are loosing fear of Allah. Disputes in marriages mostly occurs when rights of one is not fulfilled , abuse (physical & emotional) and cheating. I believe such acts are only done by people who don't fear Allah and don't follow the religion practically. It's not just men who are wrong doers .....women are too. I have actually known 3 women (indirectly) who cheated on their husband and took divorce and they were married with kids. It's not just women who suffers. In case of women I believe most of the divorce takes place because of physical , emotional , verbal & financial abuse. Believe me it's not easy to live every minute of your life suffering & dying. There can be a thousand other reasons for divorce. For men they don't hesitate in divorcing because they know that they'll get another wife and they'll have another house hold and new children. For women it's not that easy so I don't think women take divorce just because they can't compromise , they take it because they can not really live with the abuse any more.
Plus , I don't think anyone would take a divorce just because she can't wash clothes and dishes and can not clean the house. These are such petty issues and can be resolved if both husband and wife are willing to make their marriage work.
true..but my point is that girls today dun wanna get married wither(if given choice)..my colleagues were like if we didnt have society pressures, we would prefer staying single...so??
I know many girls (non pakistani) from Far East who have opted to remain single for the rest of their lives and they are happy with it.
I think it's the examples from real life that these girls see make them think like that. Now a day in every other house you can hear such stories where a woman was being severely abused by husband or inlaws. I think that's one of the main reason so many girls want to complete their education first before tying the knot and preferably would to work for a while also before marriage. I remember one of my economics teacher (a father of 3 daughters) used to say " kay humaray society nay auraton par itnay zulm kiye hain kay abb woh apni education ko priority deti hain apnay app kuch banana chahti hain & result almost all position holders now a days are girls" he used to say that mistreatment with women is one of the reason they have excelled so much in every field.
Welcome to the western thought process. Mind you I highly doubt any of you have lived on your own for a few years. If you have and still consider a single and lonely life style, one for you, more power to you. But there is a reason that marriage has been an institution that has functioned for centuries.
Women these days refuse to compromise not on just little things but on most things. People are unwilling to be flexible specifically women in many ways. That is the reason for the high divorce rate. Not equality but the notion that "I as a woman do not need to compromise, but instead the man should do as I say."
Welcome to the western thought process. Mind you I highly doubt any of you have lived on your own for a few years. If you have and still consider a single and lonely life style, one for you, more power to you. But there is a reason that marriage has been an institution that has functioned for centuries.
Women these days refuse to compromise not on just little things but on most things. People are unwilling to be flexible specifically women in many ways. That is the reason for the high divorce rate. Not equality but the notion that "I as a woman do not need to compromise, but instead the man should do as I say."
true..but my point is that girls today dun wanna get married wither(if given choice)..my colleagues were like if we didnt have society pressures, we would prefer staying single...so??
If they want to stay single whats teh problem then?
Welcome to the western thought process. Mind you I highly doubt any of you have lived on your own for a few years. If you have and still consider a single and lonely life style, one for you, more power to you. But there is a reason that marriage has been an institution that has functioned for centuries.
Women these days refuse to compromise not on just little things but on most things. People are unwilling to be flexible specifically women in many ways. That is the reason for the high divorce rate. Not equality but the notion that "I as a woman do not need to compromise, but instead the man should do as I say."
The divorce rate has increased because BOTH men and women expect more from their marriages now. Also because women are more educated these days, (more educated than men) they know what their rights are and aren’t afraid to get out of a crappy marriage if it’s neccesary. They’re able to stand on their feet, and don’t need a man to support them financially. It’s not as simple as saying the divorce rate has increased simply because women don’t compromise anymore we have more responsilibilites now than your grandmothers did.
Petty reasons for not getting married.... when you hit your 30s you'll hear your biological clocks ticking, will yearn for your own homes and babies, a nice social circle and a partner who loves you despite all your faults.
Yep, the first few years you have to compromise some, but not necessarily if you find the right guy.... it all depends on your spouse.
If you don't want to cook and do laundry..... be independent, work yourself, drop your and hubby's clothes at the laundromat, hire a lady to cook for you.... simple solutions..... and yes, I do these.... I don't have time to cook when I come home, I want to spend that time relaxing with my kids and husband.
And you should now be able to understand why all these ladies in Pakistan have maids (which people keep complaining about and calling the Pakistani women lazy)... come on, noone wants to be a slave for their husbands and in-laws. This is why the maid culture is on the rise in Pakistan, biwi khush, husband khush aur in-laws bhi khush ...... all's well that ends well.
The real charm of the life is compromising for someone whom you love .. .. .. no compromises means you just don’t want to get along .. ..
I don’t believe in this crap that “only” girls have to do compromise. To have a successful relationship, guy and girl, both have to do compromise and if they are not willing to do it then they are not willing to lvie with this relationship.
Remmeber, sometimes the value of a relationship is MUCH HIGHER than the EGO you have .. .. you gotta decide which is more important for you.
..Girls are not ready to do those compromises that our mothers or grandmothers did.. we can’t even think of it.. what’s right and what’s not ? 
we have more responsilibilites now than your grandmothers did.
