Jo Zair-e-Lab Muskura Rahay Ho..

Arts & Culture Poetry ( Intikhaab & Sho'ra-e-Gupshup)
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Meri Aik Ghazal,

Jo Zair-e-Lab Muskura Rahay Ho
Kia Dil Ki Baatain Chhupa Rahay Ho

Tumhain Ye Kis Baat Ki Khushi Hai
Jo Muskura, Gunguna Rahay Ho

Kon Iss Reh Se Aa Raha Hai
Jo Raah Pe Palkain Bichha Rahay Ho

Tum Ko Aaj Kia Hogaya Hai
Kion Mujh Se Nazrain Chura Rahay Ho

Saari Dunya To So Rahi Hai
Sitaray Tum Gintay Ja Rahay Ho

Tumhain Gumaan Bhi Nahi Hai Shayad
Ke Saari Baatain Bata Rahay Ho

Umeed Hai Ke Aao Logon Ko Pasand Aye Gi..

Regards,

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Re: Jo Zair-e-Lab Muskura Rahay Ho..

Extremely bad idea!!! :mad: What this sheir is doing in this ghazal? About the rest of the ghazal, I reserve my comments in protest :naraz:

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Re: Jo Zair-e-Lab Muskura Rahay Ho..

Em So Sorry:(.. I Dont Know What Went Wrong.. :blush:

Wese Kisi Ko Bataeay Ga Nahi.. Wo Sher Mainay Hata Dia :slight_smile:

LooKing FoR a PartNer
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Re: Jo Zair-e-Lab Muskura Rahay Ho..

Amal Jee.. Please Abb to comment ker dain na.. :(

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Re: Jo Zair-e-Lab Muskura Rahay Ho..

its alright but not up to ur usual standard…

and y did u take that shaer out… ghazal ka maghaz tha uss main :hehe:

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Re: Jo Zair-e-Lab Muskura Rahay Ho..

:slight_smile: Thnx..

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Re: Jo Zair-e-Lab Muskura Rahay Ho..

Agreed why that shyr is no more there Ary jkin ki baton main a gai bachi:frowning:

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Re: Jo Zair-e-Lab Muskura Rahay Ho..

Martial Lawi muashry main reh reh kr ap shairon pr bhi qdghanin lgany lagy, Hussan th aghazal ka yeh shyr :naraz:
Yeh Kin Khayalon Main Kho Gaye Ho
Jo Saari Haandi Jala Rahay Ho
**Wah! kia ghar ger hasti ka taswar ubrtha hy amm dagar sy hatti hoi ghazal os shyr ky baghyr amm si rawaiti sihq o ashqi wali ghazal.:hoonh: **

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Re: Jo Zair-e-Lab Muskura Rahay Ho..

Okay I am Including it again.. :slight_smile:

Thnx :blush:

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Re: Jo Zair-e-Lab Muskura Rahay Ho..

Em Sorry Cant Edit that Ghazal Again :$

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Re: Jo Zair-e-Lab Muskura Rahay Ho..

Arey, why you can't edit it? There shouldn't be any problem. Aap kaho to meiN edit kar dooN?

Secondly, remember one thing, if you don't take yourself serious, than nobody will take you serious either. Every ghazal should have a theme and it must not be a potpourri of ideas. Baqi aap ki marzi aur jin logoN ney aap ko shabasheiN deiN heiN, unki marzi :~)

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Re: Jo Zair-e-Lab Muskura Rahay Ho..

Sachi I cldnt Edit :$ Option Show Nahi Horaha Hai..

Wese, I LOVED The Way U Criticised Cuz It Looked SO Natural K Acha Laga.. Baaki I Just Needed Ur Comments Ke What Went Rong In It.. n Secondly, Baaki Ki Ghazal Kesi Lagi..

Khush Rahain,

:)

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Re: Jo Zair-e-Lab Muskura Rahay Ho..

Chalye achi baat hey ke aap ko criticism achi lagti hey. I put it the way it arrived to me. I don't know, but I was upset the way I described it. Anyway, ghazal achi thi, koshish ki zaroorat hey so wo aap kar rahey heiN. Keep it up :~)

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Re: Jo Zair-e-Lab Muskura Rahay Ho..

Bat marzi ki nahi jysy mujhy Nazm ya ghazal nazar ai main ny bhi ray di hy.Ghazal ki theme ka tu pta nahi pr yeh pta hy mujhy ky ghazal ka her shyr aik alag maani liy hota hy nazam main aik hi khiyal tasalsul sy hota hy. So if I take it ghazliya nazam; what was original that was good. Aik dramai touch tha. Its her/his creativety and we can not sacrifice creativity to criticism. This is just my openion kisi ka mery khiyal sy *Muttafiq * hona zaroori nahi.

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Re: Jo Zair-e-Lab Muskura Rahay Ho..

True. That's what I am doing :~)

The Random Thread
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Re: Jo Zair-e-Lab Muskura Rahay Ho..

Is ky siwa krty kia hain ap:naraz:

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Re: Jo Zair-e-Lab Muskura Rahay Ho..

I am sorry if it hurt you. I respect your views, but unfortunately I have to differ with in this thread. I, however, do not remember when last time I hurt you :teary1:

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Re: Jo Zair-e-Lab Muskura Rahay Ho..

i like only this sheir, :-(

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Re: Jo Zair-e-Lab Muskura Rahay Ho..

Thanks :)

Wo Aapne Bike Ka Add Dekha Hai.. Aik Bhi Buhat Hai :p

HEY KYA LIFT MILEGI.....