Jo Aadmi

Lifestyle Relationships
1

apnay maan baap ka nahin ho saka woh kissi aur ka kaisay ho sakta hai?

What do you think?
If a man is not able to be honest, respectful and faithful to his parents…his own blood…what is the likelihood that he can show any of these qualities to you?

Of course I am not referring to those situations where circumstances are far from the norm and major disagreements between the parent(s) and son exist.

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Re: Jo Aadmi

it depends...not necessarily! there are people of all sorts in this world...some even surprise you with their behaviour. i've come across some men who are nice to their parent-in-laws' while terribly mean to their own parents and vice versa.

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Re: Jo Aadmi

so why do you think that those men you know are mean to their own parents?

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Re: Jo Aadmi

Religiously, Mother and Father got higher status. According to one verse which means less or more that one should not raise his/her voice against parents including Uff. However, if their concern are against the teaching of Islam, then you disobey but again, you are not allowed to raise your voice.

now, in your first question, if someone is not loyal to his/her own parent, then *he/she will go through with same situation in life sooner or later. *

Allah knows how to keep balance and He is best judge.

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Re: Jo Aadmi


in the above mentioned situation...Akbar Allahabadii kia Khoob kah gaye:
**
"Akbar" dabe nahiiN kisii sultaaN kii fauj se
lekin, shaheed ho gaye begum kii nauj se!!!
**
matlab to samajh aa gayaa hogaa na? :)

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Re: Jo Aadmi

^ if that is the case then there will come a time, as STA has mentioned above when this man that you are referring to will either show his true colours to the wife or come to regret his actions towards his parents and hold the wife responsible.

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Re: Jo Aadmi


prolly...more likely when his own children grow up...i've seen that as well...what goes around comes around!

i'm sure such sons will have to do a lot of explaining to Allah when they finally meet HIM! i once again personally HATE those people who do NOT respect and serve their parents, especially when they reach old age and need help...physical, emotional and financial!

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Re: Jo Aadmi

and that's what I meant with the initial post.....if they cannot fulfill their farz toward their parents then how can any woman expect them to be good husbands?

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Re: Jo Aadmi

He can't. If a man/woman can look at their parents in the eye and lie to their face, they can do it to anybody.

Just look at people who live a double life and how hard that must be to maintain in front of their folks. It becomes a personality trait to lie and these traits rarely go away ....

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Re: Jo Aadmi

the only scenerio i see this being ok with is… if the parents have been real crap in raising their son.

for example.. i knmow a guy that grew up with an abusive father.. he beat his mom up and him.. not just with his bare hands but with chains and whips. the kid became a protector of his mother… educated himself.. worked … a real sob story…

if this son had grown up to treat his father like crap… i would unerstand

but as god will have it.. he moved to amreeka… got a fantastic job.. got married.. and after all the torture he went through with his abusive father.. still sends money for his karcha. imagine that eh. :rotato:

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Re: Jo Aadmi


my point was...a bad son can be very bad to his own parents while being exceptionally very good to his in-laws and this remain so for his entire life...he will be answerable to Allah for being less of a son on the day of judgment but sometimes it's observed that Allah punishes such people in this world by exacting on them the same things they did to their own parents...

...one example is my own uncle! he neglected his parents and moved to live with his in-laws thus hurting my dada's feelings badly...then...my uncle's own sons gave him such a hard time that at the end of his life he had no words of praise for them...he left this world an unhappy man because of his own children.

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Re: Jo Aadmi

Muzna, I have seen it first hand happening within my own family and extended, In my eyes that person has lost all respect and any credibility they ever had! no matter how much of a charity giving/mosque going/praying 5 times a person he/she is, they are also cowards and wimps. In the end you reap what you sow, you'll have no one but your own misery (yes I actually said that to that person)

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Re: Jo Aadmi

@Mehnaz -- exactly.....how can a woman trust a man or vice versa that thinks it is okay to lie to his/her parents or simply deny them their rights as parents?

@khawateen -- agreed......as I mentioned in my original post.....unless the circumstances are exceptional which in the case you describe, they certainly are.....

@Pink'd Out -- yes....you reap what you sow.....and while things may go all fine and dandy for a while there will definitely be repercussions at some point in life.

I just don't get why this is not simple logic to everyone.....

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Re: Jo Aadmi

Honesty, loyalty and gratitude are part of character. If they are not there in one relationship, chances are very good that they are not going to be there in another relationship.

So yes, maybe maan baap were very zalim or unfair with the son, so the son never developed respect for them. That just mean that he will be loyal to his wife only if wife is careful enough never to give him even the perception, that she is being unfair to him, cause if he ever sensed that, then bam - all the loyalty would be gone.

That means that guy can only return a favor in the shape of loyalty and respect.

Hope I made sense.

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Re: Jo Aadmi

^ you made very good sense TLK.
And that is also the point that I am making......

If he simply does not possess the character trait then it will not take much for him to show his true colours to you as well....regardless of how much he professes his love for you.

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Re: Jo Aadmi

:k:

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Re: Jo Aadmi

I tend to agree with this concept.

If you cannot be loyal to your parents then you cannot be loyal to anyone.

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Re: Jo Aadmi

there is one point that i would like to make is:

no matter how bad your parents were, you still have the religious obligation to look after them and be kind to them...it is ordered by Allah...Allah never made any sub clause saying do this only if your parents are good...Qur'aan does mention age and health...that is: be kind and treat them politely especially when they are infirm and reach their old age....it means we have been ordered by Allah to be kind and treat them with respect...no matter what!

parents will be punished for what bad they might have done to their children and children will be rewarded whatever good they do to their parents...it's more rewarding to be kind to someone who wasn't good to you. i admit and acknowledge that it's easier to say and harder to do but yes we CAN do it if we love/fear Allah. :)

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Re: Jo Aadmi

Yeah right............

when it comes for a man to be faithful to his parents............ yo womenz start whining and all....and open threads like this

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Re: Jo Aadmi

yeah lets characterize the complex universe of human behavior based on one or two points of reference. man no get along with his mom = he bad man.

i have another one - what do you make of people who want to keep figuring other people out based on one or two stereotypical points?

[QUOTE]
Amy: In a world where rhinoceroses are domesticated pets, who wins the Second World War?

Sheldon: Uganda.

Amy: Defend.

Sheldon: Kenya rises to power on the export of rhinoceroses. A Central African power block is formed, colonizing North Africa and Europe. When war breaks out, no one can afford the luxury of a rhino. Kenya withers, Uganda triumphs.
[/QUOTE]