ever since u r very young u hold some values very close to ur heart…like socioreligious values…and then there r some ppl u hold very close to ur heart too…including family, extended family, close friends…
as u grow up all of u dont remain the same…personally i’ve always had a very fixed idea about right and wrong actions in certain matters and tried to stick to those values for myself very strongly…to the extent that i feel disgusted and repulsed when there’s a deviation from those…
but everyone is not the same and everyone has a different belief system…some of the ppl who were closest to me have changed now…i mean they have changed in their personal lives…they have adopted habits which i consider “bad” and they have lifestyles which i dont consider “right”…
hmmm...its weird...and a test...
on the one hand there is the attachment to them b/c of who they are to you...
on the other hand you feel a disgust towards those habits of theirs…you feel a betrayal from their side…you feel hurt/angry/disappointed towards them…since the ppl who r involved are ones you care so much abt you feel even more strongly…you feel that what they are doing is so wrong…
you can try to explain to them that what they are doing is wrong…but then you also can’t impose yourself on someone…and they don’t change even if you tell them…
you resort to telling yourself to just accept them with those habits and develop more tolerance… and you try your best to do that… but then you’ve held so strongly to those beliefs of “right” and “wrong” for so long that it becomes difficult to reconcile everything…to accept them fully and whole heartedly you must accept those habits of theirs too…so you have to tell yourself that maybe its not “so bad” to do that… coz u feel that how can you love someone fully when you keep thinking that certain things they do are so bad? i feel like when u like someone u have to love them and accept them 100%
all this leaves you yourself very confused and lost… without a sense of right and wrong for yourself and without bearings…you feel like you’re just a leaf in the air willing to go whichever direction the wind takes you…ready to accept whatever the other person does and alter your own beliefs accordingly…every action becomes acceptable…althought its not possible i think to entirely erase your belief system from your senses, or maybe it is
Re: jin pe takya tha wohi pattay hawa dene lagay...
hmm irem... :)
it is confusing isnt it...
honestly speaking... acceptance does not mean u need to let go of ur own beliefs...
acceptance is the acknowledgement of things that exist.. that bad things or things that are against ur beliefs do happen.. it has nothing to do with changing ur ownself.. or saying that what u've believed in is wrong
for example, u know drinking alcohol is considered wrong.. and u strongly believe one shouldnt do it.... but u accept that there are many muslims out there who do drink.. who do other things Islam considers haram or bad... it doesnt mean u have changed ur beliefs to say "hey its ok to do that...." its just means.. "hey it happens... but its still wrong"
Re: jin pe takya tha wohi pattay hawa dene lagay...
yeap sadzz :)
taking ur example then though...what if someone whom you've grown up with like maybe a cousin takes up alcohol for example? how are you going to reconcile with that? can you still love and accept them 100% even though you disagree with their lifestyle?
Re: jin pe takya tha wohi pattay hawa dene lagay...
yeap ofcourse irem.. ive got cousins like that.. and i feel i guess honoured that they've been honest enuff to tell me, knowing how different i am to them.. they've opened up and told me what they do or have done... i will no way hold that against them... infact i think i love my cousins even more for telling me so :)
simply accept them for who they are instead of judging them with ur own beliefs.. my opinon neways
Re: jin pe takya tha wohi pattay hawa dene lagay...
sigh
yes sadzz...thats true
but its also not easy to see them lead themselves into a ditch :( when u see they r doing something thats so wrong..and its gona lead them to disaster... :(
p.s. the issue i was talking abt in my original post was not alcohol..
Re: jin pe takya tha wohi pattay hawa dene lagay...
I used to be extremely judgemental on this issue - but I've recently become more tolerant. Tolerant does not mean not giving a **** about what others do - but it's letting them know that you don't approve of what they do but that you'll still be there for them.
Re: jin pe takya tha wohi pattay hawa dene lagay...
yah its not easy seeing them like that... but theres not much u can do.. just stick by them i guess and let them know that u'll always be around if they need a hand..
be alcohol the reason or something else... its the same thing yah?
neways, let Allah Mian guide them and im sure He wont ever put them in such a position they cant get themselves out of.. have faith :)
Re: jin pe takya tha wohi pattay hawa dene lagay...
^
aap ka boht shukria mujh se ittefaaq-e-raaye karnay ka :D aur mein aap kee behad mamNoon hoon k aap mere is haqeer dhaagay mein apni mubarak tashreef le ke ayay :D koi chayay shayay thanda paani? :D
SADZZ oiii i think Goliko is talking abt YOU not me 
dafa ho