Re: jethani devrani…
Does your saas believe the things your jhitani says about you? If not, then that is all that matters. If you get defensive every time jhetani points put your faults and try hard to convince your saas that she is wrong…it can make you appear guilty too. One might wonder that why is Aisha getting so worried if jhitani’s criticism is false?
It is easier said than done, I admit. But try to stay calm and positive; this will make you appear more confident than jhetani; ut shows that you don’t have the energy or desire to defame any family member. Let jhetani run her mouth and you can prove her claims false through your actions which will contradict her words. You can beat jhetani at her own game by using the opposite approach, one that has more dignity. If you, too, resort to her cheap tactics, it places MIL in a situation where she will get irritated because she won’t know who to believe. Rather than taking the risk of annoying her and making her lose trust in both you and the jhetani…try not to react as it makes things more complex. Let jhetani exert all the energy, only to see it bring her down and lose respect. I have seen this dynamic play out in the joint system…where over time respect is lost for the one who makes the most noise and displays frequent lack of verbal control (jabs, snidery, etc). Of course it helps if your MIL is not one to get sucked in to the drama.
My saas is nice to me so I guess she doesn’t believe her…it’s just so hard to stay quiet when I feel like slapping my jethani..!!! But what you saying makes so much sense…thanks a lot