Re: Jealousy In Girls
Basically, I think what has happened is that because of the way Pakistani society was constructed, women had little control over anything outside of their homes. Some don't even have that. They rarely have direct control, but begin to exercise control through their sons, who are indebted to them. So they are extra sensitive to any change or external influences in their homes, and so instead of seeing the DIL as a family member, some (the more insecure and the more stubborn) they see her as a threat and treat her as such (as in the front car seat thread).
In addition, many (most?) Pakistani women are homemakers and have devoted their lives to raising their children. They have sacrificed their happiness for that of their elders, children, husband, families, etc. The assumption is that one day, these people will return the favor. So instead of doing what makes them happy, the culture dictated that it is the next generation that must give us happiness.
When these children grow up, the mothers have little to occupy them, unless they have other interests and means of feeling productive. Some mothers will continue to keep a hold on their children and will make the children feel guilty for any sign of independence. This isn't good for mother or child. The problem is, without having pursued other skills and interests, many women don't actually know what will make them happy. So they feel idle and demand more grandchildren and interfere unnecessarily in others lives in a way that I doubt makes them happy.
It's one thing to be consulted and to be part of the family; it's another to feel entirely dependent on others for fulfillment.
At some point, the cycle needs to be broken. We need to make it okay for people to look for their own fulfillment while still respecting and giving to those they care for. We need to encourage women to take pride in their motherhood but also their other skills, talents, and interests. We also need to legitimize women's voices, so that women feel empowered to act in the home as well as outside of it, and do not need to rely always on others for control and influence.