Larkyan itni jealous kyon hoti hain?
I have been reading that front seat thread and what it boils down to is that you people are jealous of your own MILs. You make it an ego issue and jealousy plays tricks on your mind.
Be it jealousy with boyfriend fiance husband ka chakkar or jealousy in friendships etc
why?
Re: Jealousy In Girls
Life1 ki aunties are on their way to kill you 
I agree with what you said (aab meri bhi khair nahin) 
Re: Jealousy In Girls
Well let them come and support themselves and prove me wrong. I am just stating my observation and opinion. Do not you worry nothing is going to happen to you.
Larkyan itni jealous kyon hoti hain?
I have been reading that front seat thread and what it boils down to is that you people are jealous of your own MILs. You make it an ego issue and jealousy plays tricks on your mind.
Be it jealousy with boyfriend fiance husband ka chakkar or jealousy in friendships etc
why?
hmmmm... no.. i have experienced this myself. to an extent we are jealous and that is only becus our hubbies are so crazily in love with their mothers. but in most cases MIL are jealous.. i ll give u logic. see when a DIL comes home and the son strts giving attention to the new bride, it just pisses off the MIL because suddenly she is no longer the center of attention.. then she strts acting weird to prove the new bride that she still has the final say.. ofcourse then we are also human beings, we get jealous and then we want to show he loves me blah blah. honestly.. i just wish they wud just leave us alone. 20 years u got ur son... now let him share love somewhere else
Re: Jealousy In Girls
See, you are jealous and you are a DIL. You will become a mother in law someday too inshallah, this thing of jeolousy starts with girls and builds on as you grow older. And plus jealousy in general, us girls do become jealous very easily. This habit of jealousy starts when we are young and in school and we go fish for friends. There is a competition and everyone wants to be in the cool crowd and those who are there the other girls get jealous from them. Then you go to university and start getting jealous watching the girls who are more rich then you etc etc finally you come to relationships and wedding.
See if you have an understanding nature you wont get jealous of your MIL. So it is just not jealousy that is the matter here.
Re: Jealousy In Girls
duniya meri khoobsoorti aur Zahanat se Jalti hai 
See, you are jealous and you are a DIL. You will become a mother in law someday too inshallah, this thing of jeolousy starts with girls and builds on as you grow older. And plus jealousy in general, us girls do become jealous very easily. This habit of jealousy starts when we are young and in school and we go fish for friends. There is a competition and everyone wants to be in the cool crowd and those who are there the other girls get jealous from them. Then you go to university and start getting jealous watching the girls who are more rich then you etc etc finally you come to relationships and wedding.
See if you have an understanding nature you wont get jealous of your MIL. So it is just not jealousy that is the matter here.
aisha it is easier said then done.. i guess ure not married rite.. wait till u do! :) I do not agree that women are jealous from their youth. I have never been jealous of anyone's fame, money, popularity etc....to me the last time I envied(note envy not jealous) was when my friend told me how great her mom in law was.
when you will be DIL and you will see small and big situations popping out you will know it is but natural to be jealous but atleast DIL ki jealousy itni destructive nahi hoti.... thaz my thinking...
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It's not about jealousy -- it's about insecurity and feeling as if you are being taken advantage of.
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maybe i'm on some weird planet but i've never heard of anyone being jealous of their MIL! i think some DILs don't know compromise, and some MILS don't know how to let go. If both parties learn these things, there will be no problem.
It's not about jealousy -- it's about insecurity and feeling as if you are being taken advantage of.
yes!
anyway, i'm sick of all these threads. this culture has some serious issues and when i read all this crap all i can think of is how lucky i am to have the parents i have and how lucky my brothers and their future wives will be.
hmmmm... no.. i have experienced this myself. to an extent we are jealous and that is only becus our hubbies are so crazily in love with their mothers. but in most cases MIL are jealous.. i ll give u logic. see when a DIL comes home and the son strts giving attention to the new bride, it just pisses off the MIL because suddenly she is no longer the center of attention.. then she strts acting weird to prove the new bride that she still has the final say.. ofcourse then we are also human beings, we get jealous and then we want to show he loves me blah blah. honestly.. i just wish they wud just leave us alone. 20 years u got ur son... now let him share love somewhere else
well i can't say that this is the case everywhere. but i can agree with you in my own situation. my MIL-to-be only has sons and shortly two of them will be getting married - first marriages in the family. she is pretty much freaking out. she's always been the only woman at home and had 100% attention from hubby and sons. when i go and visit them in PK, you can see clearly on her face how she is feeling when my fiance talks to me. he also has to be really careful about offering to do anything for me (go to the shops etc), coz she goes crazy when he does. it's so bad that her husband has told her off about it and even warned my father that things will not be easy for your daughter with her (he's a very understanding man and wants everyone to get along).
do i get jealous when i see him doing things for his mother?! no, why would i?! it's his mother!
anyway, i know it's not entirely her fault. all her life she has been around small-minded women with their horror stories about DILs and what will happen to her sons. that and watching dramas twice a day.
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instead of complaining about how badly the MIL treats the DIL, how about asking advice from those who do not have problems and how they got to that point if all was not fine for them in the beginning..... sitting and feeling bad about it wont do any good . solve the problem instead of making it worse by responding in the same way.
Not easy at all but then someones got to make the effort and start.
hmmmm... no.. i have experienced this myself. to an extent we are jealous and that is only becus our hubbies are so crazily in love with their mothers.
And I don't see ANY reasons why they shouldn't be. Granted the wife holds her own place but newly married, how many years has she really devoted to this man compared to the mother? From the time she conceived him till his grownup years, sorry to break it to you, but his mom has more rights on him than his father or you or his kids or anyone else for that matter. He owes everything to his mother and noone can question why he is so crazily in love her. Maybe one day when you have your own kids, you will realize what it means.
Re: Jealousy In Girls
shay that is gr8!:k:
if i had not read your reply i was going to type the almost identical thing that you wrote.
i asked my mom about this issue and she said that a mother brings her son in to a world and devoted her time, love etc to raising her kids and they are very tight and all of a sudden this girl comes and it takes time to adjust to the situation. she also said that the way to a husband’s heart is not food as commonly thought but his mom, if you treat his mom with respect and not think of her as a MIL but as your husband’s mom it will make one hell of a difference in the way the MIL treats you.
hmmmm... no.. i have experienced this myself. to an extent we are jealous and that is only becus our hubbies are so crazily in love with their mothers. but in most cases MIL are jealous.. i ll give u logic. see when a DIL comes home and the son strts giving attention to the new bride, it just pisses off the MIL because suddenly she is no longer the center of attention.. then she strts acting weird to prove the new bride that she still has the final say.. ofcourse then we are also human beings, we get jealous and then we want to show he loves me blah blah. honestly.. i just wish they wud just leave us alone. 20 years u got ur son... now let him share love somewhere else
I can understand why MIL has jealousy feelings as she has spend years and years with the Son giving her 100% attention and here comes the DIL. But why is DIL jealous?
and BTW, above and beyond all Zee MIL/DIL talk, in the end both MIL and DIL are females. So question should really be why females get jealous?
I completely agree!! :k:
i think its also about the kind of intention/thinking the girl has towards her in-laws.
like its important for the girl to realize that if you move into a new house and have new relations all of a sudden, then the onus is on you to make a place for yourself in their hearts. like with your parents that kind of love/respect comes naturally, but with ur in-laws we have to work for it to deserve it.No one is going to come and offer you something just like that. the initiative has to come from the girl to realize this and put the effort. ghar mai jagih banana asaan hai..dil mai jagih banana is the difficult task.
and then i definitley believe after couple years, the hardwork/good intention realllyyyy pays off!!!!
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OMG sid that is such a wonderful post!! i completely agree, the girl is stranger to the household she goes to and she needs to work hard to get a place in their hearts ...
all of a sudden only a fool will expect soo many things even the newly married guys need to adjust to their marital lives..
i think its also about the kind of intention/thinking the girl has towards her in-laws.
like its important for the girl to realize that if you move into a new house and have new relations all of a sudden, then the onus is on you to make a place for yourself in their hearts. like with your parents that kind of love/respect comes naturally, but with ur in-laws we have to work for it to deserve it.No one is going to come and offer you something just like that. the initiative has to come from the girl to realize this and put the effort. ghar mai jagih banana asaan hai..dil mai jagih banana is the difficult task.
and then i definitley believe after couple years, the hardwork/good intention realllyyyy pays off!!!!
why do you think the onus should be on the girl? she is the one who has left her family to come to a new household, the in-laws still have their son etc.
really, it works both ways. all parties involved need to be considerate and work at it. if anything, the parents-in-law being the elder should help and guide the girl. if she makes a mistake forgive her like you would your own children, help her understand what it is wrong so she can improve herself. why instead start bad-mouthing her and not letting the issue go?
i could go on and on. but at the end of the day i think the biggest problem is that in pakistani culture, mothers don't want a wife for their husband. a lot of them don't give a crap if the husband and wife are happy and getting on with things, they just want someone to do all the household duties.
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i think a wife should NEVER compare herself with his hubbys mom...i mean they both have special place....MIL cant take place of DIL and vice versa....its like asking somebody who do you love more..your ammi or abu...i mean commmon....