[quote="stoppit"]
why do you think the onus should be on the girl? she is the one who has left her family to come to a new household, the in-laws still have their son etc. quote]
i think the onus is on the girl b/c her inlaws are not moving into her house..she is the "new" addition in their family!. and yea def in an ideal world both parties should put an equal amount of effort, but unfortunately its not always the case. but someone has to take the intiative afterall.. so if the girl gets married with this perspective its easier to handle stuff when it goes wrong..which it usually does..atleast it wont be a shocker and one is mentally prepared.
also i dont think taking an initaitve to win over ur pils respect/love would make her inferior or a doormat. its just a matter of perspective.
oh btw, thanks Aisha! =)