Recently I’ve had the “good fortune” of spending time with some ladies that are recent arrivals from Pakistan (all been in Canada for less than a decade).
We have had a few social gatherings and I have found that there is little more to talk about than the following subjects:
fashion
jewellery
cooking
fashion
bollywood
fashion
female issues (medical related)
shopping and sales
Okay…so it took some time to adjust to that but I managed to do it. I made sure that prior to attending these events I would completely tire myself out so I could “tune out” during the evening.
The same group decided to go on a bbq outing at the beach. Not only was I severely disappointed at the lack of interest in activities other than the actual cooking of the food and then sitting on blankets and resting under umbrellas I was super amazed that these same women were more concerned about the whereabouts of their husbands. Some were even noted to be commenting on what their husbands may be “looking at”!!!
Seriously?
I mean really folk, seroiusly?
Do women in this generation actually have these fears?
None of these ladies are less than pretty. They are all well put-together girls with at least a bachelor’s degree and they all have a child or two.
Yet they are worried about their husbands’ wandering eyes???
^^ yeah that or maybe they do have a reason to say that. Maybe their husbands do look at/stare girls that made that say such things.
I know pretty female doctors.. very pretty and very educated but their husbands are just not happy with them or some of their husbands would rather be with another woman. You know.. everyone has a different relationship. You can't generalize and say oh because she is pretty and educated she shouldn't be saying it.. well she might have a reason to say what she is saying. A reason you may not be aware of..
Whats wrong with talking about those things? at least its not gossiping about someone else…is there?
I’m not hte jealous type and neither is my husband. But I know girls who are incredibly possessive and jealous and keep their dudes on a leash…and they were raised in US/Canada etc.. (some aren’t even desi).
Nothing wrong with talking about those things.......as long as this is not the extent of your interests. But this is a personal opinion I suppose.
And yes, you are definitely right about the fact that at least it is not gossiping about someone.
Maybe I just don't have a clue because I couldn't care less who hubby was looking at.........except that if his neeyat is not good then he is doing himself a disservice and will be punished for it later......but I certainly wouldn't be keeping tabs on him to prevent him from being able to look........
I just don't get it......if a guy wants he can have access to all sorts of material......why take any steps to prevent it? Why not focus on the good things and trust him?
There’s two kinds of jealousy…the first where the guy has done something already for their wives to become suspicious…
then the guys who dont do anything and their wives are still incredibly jealous.
Someone once said I must not love my husband very much because I dont have a problem if he speaks to another girl or looks at them…
The dude works with women…women wear all kinds of garbage, i cant be bothered to get jealous or go crazy at the thought that he may LOOK at them. I trust him…simple as that
Agree with Decent that there's a "possibility" that the women made the remark in a taunting or facetious way. You'd know better because you were there. I think women throughout the generations have worried (with varying extents) about their husbands' wandering eyes. It's a thought that (IMO) transcends location, education, looks, etc. Hopefully this subject of (wandering of eyes) was not THE ONLY thing that the women focused on. That's unreasonable considering that eyes will wander in other places besides the beach (the office, supermarket, mall, on the TV)...and that's a point that you can bring up with the ladies. It kind of sends the message that you can't really get too worked up over something you can't control.
As far as the topics are concerned, it's not uncommon for women to talk about fashion, cooking, and movies. As mentioned by a previous poster, it's okay if they weren't gossiping. Hmmm, but I do understand what you mean....that redundant topics can get boring. Try changing the shift in the conversation by bringing up different topics. For example, you can talk about a book that you recently enjoyed and ask the ladies if they've read anything interesting. Or bring up interesting places to visit (restaurants, museums, etc). Or bring up something interesting that you watched on TV. Sometimes, it just takes one or two people to join in......and the conversation has a new flow to it.
Hm, hard topic. Wandering eyes that is. I’d be more annoyed that they made it a topic of discussion. Sounds like more “monkey see, monkey do”, which these sorts of girls are pros at.
First it is comparing fashions, then comparing cooking, then comparing whose husband checks out fewer babes in bikinis.
I think it’s just another thing to compare and boast about (my hubby doesn’t look at anyone but me ) or just another thing to complain and whine about (these types of ladies LOVE to whine about stupid crap).
See. I don’t think I’d be jealous. I’d probably ask the beach babe to take the dude off my hands.
I am a very jealous type.. I start driving my husband crazy if I even suspect.. but the truth is I do it for fun not being serious at all.. I trust him more than myself I think!!
I found these girls REALLY annoying in the first couple of years after I got married but I surprised myself when one of them became my good friend after she had her son. She was not only an excellent housemaker but an excellent mother.
She is insanely inquistive about her husband’s whereabouts. She’s a knockout. Her husband IMO is a 3.5/10 so she doesn’t really need worry. It has to with her own insecurities. She always make sure that she dresses up for him and looks, smells better than her “competition”.
I would be the first one to but there is nothing wrong with it. infact I have seen her husband really values her commitment to him.
I must be the odd one out because I find these types of insinuations disgusting. If it was something said in a joke or even light-heartedly I would brush it off as an off-colour remark but that was not the case.
The thing that drives me batty is that even if you have such insecurities......would you/should you really be sharing them with other wives? Wouldn't you rather have the discussion with your husband?
That's why I say it's more of a competition or whining thing for them. They either want to compete on how sleezy their hubby is or how non-sleezy he is, or they want to just whine about something else.
If they're really worried, they'd probably just speak to their husband directly.
Maybe they're trying to emphasize to the girls that their husband has such an awesome sex drive that he is always checking out girls and vice versa.
A tiny bit of jealousy is fine but I know what Muzna is referring to in the foblet circle. Most of the women I hung out with when I was married were all fresh imports from Pakistan and all they ever talked about was
Clothes
Recipes
Clothes
Pakistani Dramay
Clothes
Shopping
Clothes
Hair and Nail Talk
Clothes
All I did was twiddle my thumbs, feel awkward, get a little quiet and then be labeled rude because I had nothing to contribute. How long can you pretend? I can do it for a little bit but then I just dont want to…
Not only that, but everywhere their husbands went…the girls were stuck to them like glue! Ummm…Im not like that. They would also advise me to do the same “varna haat se nikal jatey hein mard”. To aise mard se shaadi kyun ki jo haat se itni asani se nikal jaye?
at least its not gossiping about someone else…is there?
) or just another thing to complain and whine about (these types of ladies LOVE to whine about stupid crap).
