Janai wo us shaab soya bhi hoga

Swera · January 17, 2004, 12:56pm

Apnai armanooN ko sulagtai huwai us nai kesai dekha ho ga DostooN sai apni udasi ka sabab kiya kaha ho ga Wo jo roya na tha kabhi us nai apnai ansooN ko kesai roka ho ga Yai saab youN hatam ho jayai ga, us nai kabhi yai kaab socha ho ga! Apni adhoori dastaN ko us nai janai kiya naam diya ho ga Janai wo us shaab soya bhi hoga kai khood sai sawal karta raha ho ga! HumaiN to ajj bhi wo ziz hai usai yai kesai batayaiN hum Wo sunai ga to shaid hathelioN ko apni ghoor sai dekhai ga Magar wahan wo muhabat ko apni wo kesai basa payai ga! Phir wo kitna taRpai ga kesai sambhlai ga….!!!

Mrs_Mazhar · January 17, 2004, 1:49pm

hmmm nice one sis ;) but very sad ufffffffff

Swera · January 17, 2004, 2:41pm

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Mrs_Mazhar: *
hmmm nice one sis ;) but very sad ufffffffff
[/QUOTE]

Thank you..:)

Sad! hmmmm......

Capricorn · January 17, 2004, 3:23pm

Buhat nice

Azad · January 17, 2004, 4:14pm

Sawera jee … kabhi chottay missron ko bhi try kar liya karain … or bhi khoob rahay ga

good work :k:

SuraJ · January 18, 2004, 2:18pm

hmmmmmmmm

haye dil mera dil :D

nice one

cuteepie · January 19, 2004, 12:37am

beautiful :k:

ghazal_kisi_ke · January 19, 2004, 2:03am

awesome:k:
keep it up:flower1:

Swera · January 19, 2004, 12:45pm

Bohat shukriya…

Swera · January 19, 2004, 12:48pm

hmm…Like Choudry does? Ok I will try! lekin khoob ka pata nahiN.:o

Thank u very much! ( If I’m right yai 2nd ghazal/poem hai jo ap ko achi lagi, I guess)

Swera · January 19, 2004, 12:50pm

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by SuraJ: *
hmmmmmmmm

haye dil mera dil :D

nice one
[/QUOTE]

hmmmmm....yai ap kai dill ko kiya huwa? :D

Thanks SuraJ!

Swera · January 19, 2004, 12:52pm

Thanks..

Swera · January 19, 2004, 12:53pm

Thanks…

I’ll try!

kesi ho ghazal?

chodhry · January 19, 2004, 1:27pm

Re: Janai wo us shaab soya bhi hoga

hmmmmm..swera theme aur lafzoon ka chunayoo bohat acha hay. :k:

and if u dont mind just want to add that if i were you i wd have arranged it like this:

kesai dekha ho ga
Apney sulagtai armanooN ki
raakh sey uthtey dhunwaiN ko

kiya batlaya ho ga
chehry pey sabat
daymi uddasi ka sabab
DostooN ki chubhti nigahoon ko

Yai saab youN khatam ho jayai ga
Yai khyaal bhi kab guzzra ho ga
us nai kabhi yai kaab socha ho ga!

Apni adhoori dastaN ko us nai
janai kiya naam diya ho ga
Janai khood sai kia sawal karta raha ho ga!
Janai wo us shaab soya bhi ho ga!!!

usai yai kesai batayaiN hum
HumaiN to ajj bhi wo aziz hai
Dil mein abhi tak dharkta hai
ragg-e-jann sey nazdeek hai

ju kabhi sun ley yeh sab tu shayed
apni hathalioon mein rachi beybassi ko
apni taqdeer ki rekhayein samjh key
kitna terpey ga!
keisey sambhley ga!
keisey janey ga!
key mein tu uss ka naseeb hoon
zarra haath tu berhaye
mein hameisha sey us key qareeb hoon

chodhry · January 19, 2004, 1:29pm

oyieee u copy cat

ps: try kero, just break your long sentences into small lines and concentrate on each line I am sure u will see the improvement

Swera · January 20, 2004, 12:56pm

^ :p me coppy u:p

Hehe

Thank for the compliments..:-)
I will try to break down my lines! :-D ( I know I know ap ka matlab kiya hai)

& yes, Ur poem is really good, jo ap nai mujhai copy kaa kai likhi, copy cat:-p

Thanks.

chodhry · January 20, 2004, 1:04pm

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Swera: *
^ :p me coppy u:p

Hehe

Thank for the compliments..:-)
I will try to break down my lines! :-D ( I know I know ap ka matlab kiya hai)

& yes, Ur poem is really good, jo ap nai mujhai copy kaa kai likhi, copy cat:-p

Thanks.
[/QUOTE]

ooo nayieen poem tu abhi bhi tumhaari hey, mujhey lahoo lagga key shaheedoon mein shamil honey ka shouq nahien.. heheh

:)

Swera · January 20, 2004, 2:06pm

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by chodhry: *

ooo nayieen poem tu abhi bhi tumhaari hey, mujhey lahoo lagga key shaheedoon mein shamil honey ka shouq nahien.. heheh

:)
[/QUOTE]

samj nahiN ai, phir.:o

:p

Adeel786 · January 21, 2004, 1:51pm

Re: Janai wo us shaab soya bhi hoga

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Swera: *

Apnai armanooN ko sulagtai huwai us nai kesai dekha ho ga
DostooN sai apni udasi ka sabab kiya kaha ho ga
Wo jo roya na tha kabhi us nai apnai ansooN ko kesai roka ho ga
Yai saab youN hatam ho jayai ga, us nai kabhi yai kaab socha ho ga!
Apni adhoori dastaN ko us nai janai kiya naam diya ho ga
Janai wo us shaab soya bhi hoga kai khood sai sawal karta raha ho ga!
HumaiN to ajj bhi wo ziz hai usai yai kesai batayaiN hum
Wo sunai ga to shaid hathelioN ko apni ghoor sai dekhai ga
Magar wahan wo muhabat ko apni wo kesai basa payai ga!
Phir wo kitna taRpai ga kesai sambhlai ga….!!!
[/QUOTE]

   jee waisey ho sakta hey aisa howa hu .

Swera · January 21, 2004, 2:25pm

Re: Re: Janai wo us shaab soya bhi hoga

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Adeel786: *

   jee waisey ho sakta hey aisa howa hu .

[/QUOTE]

hmmmm.....wow! me good poet ya? hehe j/k