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I have always seen heard all these Jahez things that girls take with them when getting married. I always thought that Islamically this was wrong and that there is no such thing as Jahez in Islam. I don’t want to take any Jahez but my mom says things like …log kia kahe ge? beti ko khali hath bej dia etc etc …which is totally the reason why Jahez is forbidden right?
When I spoke to my dad about it, we got arguing on this point. He also believes in this jahez thing and justifies it as a sunna :o :o :o
He says that when Fatimah RD got married to Ali RD, the prophet gave them household neccessities and furniture as their jahez and following what the prophet SAW did is sunna therefore Jahez is sunna.
This totally goes against the lesson I have been taught at school of Jahez being wrong, being an Indian tradition etc.
The gifts Fatima (r) received were household necessities. You should look up what exactly she received. It was by no means a jahaiz in today's interpretation.
The gifts Fatima (r) received were household necessities. You should look up what exactly she received. It was by no means a jahaiz in today's interpretation.
Those household items were purchased by the Haq Mahr money given by Hazrat Ali and not the by the Father, i.e. Prophet (SAW).
It is definitely a cultural thing. If parents are happy to give gifts to their daughter then I think it is fine, but it is wrong if demanded by in-laws, that just means they are greedy, and who knows what else they will demand in the future if the marriage starts like this.
Things like furniture for daughters room are fine and maybe dinner sets and gadgets for the kitchen. But some people go too far by giving furniture for entire house and even giving cars.
Those household items were purchased by the Haq Mahr money given by Hazrat Ali and not the by the Father, i.e. Prophet (SAW).
i have same information as above. You dont need to argue with your parents they actually think as our system is going it is necessary for a girl to bring all things not only which she needs but also to decorate homes so may Allah guide all of us Ameen. You can only tell them whats wrong and right. Rest have faith inshaAllah you will have life partner with same thinking ameen
When I got married, my husband refused to accept any jahaiz , as much as my father refused to give any Jahaiz. At the end of the day , its these two men that matter the most to a girl and I feel my father took the right decision by letting me step into my new life and then decide if I wanted material things or money in the form of saving etc . My husband totally did us proud with this one decision and I never fail to mention this because I feel in a culture which has high expectations of dowry , a man standing up against his family's wishes is pure awesomeness .
if parents want to give jahez to their daughter as gift and IT WOULD NOT cause any financial burden on them. then its fine
on the other hand, if in laws demand dowry and expensive clothes gold jewellery from larki’walaythn it is highly highly wrong.
likin aj kal yehi rawaj hai log apnay munh se maang k gold jewllery, furniture letey hein balkay force krtay hein k ye sab cheezain latest design ki hon .
i know such ppl personally.
It’s a cultural thing and for desi folks culture trumphs religion. The fact that her haq mehr was used for the dowry will have no bearing on anyone. You can use your own taste and sense to keep within budget.
Right now the trend for the dining table, kitchen stuff has died. At max you have to worry about just the girl’s bedroom stuff. Beyond that nothing more. So don’t let anyone make you believe a dining table or a washing machine is needed for khandan ki izzat because it’s not the norm anymore.
Best argument against jahez is that log kya kahen gay when they find out the girl is getting married in such a family that can’t even afford a dining table. Tsk Tsk.
Eik tu him logoon ka sara Islam Jahaiz, 4 Shadioon and stone-to-death per aa ker khatam hota hai.
In islamic sense Jahaiz is a gift to girl from parents without any pressure and out of the way efforts. In our society, lerkey waley “demand” specific items or girl’s parents try to give big ticket items (by saving whole of their life) so that their daughter can live happily ever after with “unchi naak” in susral. If money/jahaiz could make some girl’s life better, there would have been no divorces in rich people.
So NO. The form of jahaiz that is practiced in our society is not the same as practiced by Prophet Muhammad (SAW) with Fatima (RA)
how about the fact that there was no wedding, mehndi, mayoon, chauhti, dasween etc functions for Fatima (RA) and there was only valima for close family from Ali (RA)? Ask you father if he is ok with practicing that too? (in polite way, without any disrespect of course)
Yea but the argument could be made the other way too. If OP is so against jahez b/c its Islamically wrong and a Indian tradition…is she also against having a mehndi, mayoon, various rasams and most things that desi weddings include, but that really was never a part of Islam and are actually Indian traditions?
I think there’s a difference between when parents give with intentions of it being a gift for their daughter…and when they do so out of fear of the in-laws or because the in-laws “demanded” it. Islam allows and encourages gifts, but there ain’t no place for demanding anything from the bride or her family. If anyone at all gets the right to demand a gift, then it’s only the wife-to-be…and it’s called haq mehr. Islam honored women in this way and it’s one way among many others. But some Desi Muslims choose to follow the damaging attitude of self-entitlement found in other cultures when their own religion is quite clear on these matters.
If you look at OP’s posts, she created another post asking for color recommendations for an outfit for her ENGAGEMENT party. Last time I checked, that doesn’t really exist in Islam.
shrug btw, this is a early 2014 thread to OP is probably already married by now lol.
