Jahez

[Decent_6Chora]

Re: Jahez

@Paheli00

If you look at OP’s posts, she created another post asking for color recommendations for an outfit for her ENGAGEMENT party. Last time I checked, that doesn’t really exist in Islam.

shrug btw, this is a early 2014 thread to OP is probably already married by now lol.

I dont stalk guppies so I did not know about her other post

On Serious note: I guess everyone knows when they are crossing the line and should make better judgement about jahaiz.

[Safoora]

Re: Jahez

@StrangeOne

It’s a cultural thing and for desi folks culture trumphs religion. The fact that her haq mehr was used for the dowry will have no bearing on anyone. You can use your own taste and sense to keep within budget.

Right now the trend for the dining table, kitchen stuff has died. At max you have to worry about just the girl’s bedroom stuff. Beyond that nothing more. So don’t let anyone make you believe a dining table or a washing machine is needed for khandan ki izzat because it’s not the norm anymore.

Best argument against jahez is that log kya kahen gay when they find out the girl is getting married in such a family that can’t even afford a dining table. Tsk Tsk.

This mentality is what perpetuates the wrong in society. Even though its an educated view, has good intentions and makes sense that if you have enough, it’d be good to gift your daughter stuff- it inadvertently places the burden of jahaiz on people with lower socio-economical reasons. We can’t do much about log kia kahengay because this is baseline human mentality- so lets turn it around and change it into- “dekho itna jahaiz mangain gey tou log kia kahein gey” as in- turn this asking for jahaiz into something undesirable.

Personal example- husband and I are both in competitive fields making 6 figures each. I never took ANY jahaiz, not because I couldn’t, but because my parents and parents-in-law both were strongly against it. MIL decorated our apartment and bought every little thing from hubby’s money prior to our nikkah.

Another personal example- good friend of mine had an engagement broken weeks before shadi for this jahaiz issue. Again, both husband-to-be and wife-to-be are in competitive fields and make just as much as we do. But it became more of an ego issue about how much they were receiving. Very sad and tactless. Lets be better than that!

[UmmBilal]

Re: Jahez

Unlike her sisters’ husbands, Ali RA was poor and both he and Fatimah RA had to work very hard. On one particular occasion, life became so unbearable that they went to the Prophet SAW to ask him for servants. Rather than giving them servants, the Prophet SAW taught them to recite Subhan Allah, Al Hamdulillah, Allahu Akbar after each prayer and before going to sleep. In many ways, their marriage had more barakah; it was based on piety and righteousness, and above all, they had the blessings and dua of the Prophet SAW.

[UmmBilal]

Re: Jahez

Unlike her sisters’ husbands, Ali RA was poor and both he and Fatimah RA had to work very hard. On one particular occasion, life became so unbearable that they went to the Prophet SAW to ask him for servants. Rather than giving them servants, the Prophet SAW taught them to recite Subhan Allah, Al Hamdulillah, Allahu Akbar after each prayer and before going to sleep. In many ways, their marriage had more barakah; it was based on piety and righteousness, and above all, they had the blessings and dua of the Prophet SAW.