a problem in pakistan!! Discus what u have 2 say on jehez… (dowery).
I don't understand the point of Jehaz. People do it here too in North America. I don't have any Jehaz nor do I want any. I think it's a waste, especially the jewellery and all the clothes and how it's ALWAYS put on display for everybody to gawk at at mendhi parties. I think a lot of it just comes down to showing off. This is just my personal opinion. Apologies if I offend anybody.
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Originally posted by MehnazQ: *
I don't have any Jehaz **nor do I want any. *
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Jehaz is what the womans side give (unislamic custom, which probably has roots from the pre-islamic period of Pakistan). So you wouldnt get it unless your talking about the dowry which is what the man gives to the woman (and only the woman) and is a must for the marriage contract, although it can be any amount.
Anyway this jehaz is all rubbish, but it seems so ingrained in the Pakistani culture that everyone seems to give it.
jahez? ok bad thing. but there are other things that have replaced it, which nobody complains about.
education for one is still not really helping the woman.
Also from this thread The Edhis at it again
The Edhis do such great work, but even they had to give some jehaz. It seems like its almost impossible to marry a girl of in Pakistan without Jehaz. I know some relatives in Pak that started saving jehaz stuff from the birth of the girl.
Its all crazy, but what I dont understand is why do people in the west do this aswell.
I know some families where the girl got married to a guy in Pak, the guy would come over obviously and live in the UK, but still they gave jehaz to the guys family (furniture, clothes etc.), how dumb is that, how does that help the newly weds.
why give stuff and goodies to your girl if she and her husband are capable enough. I mean, if the parents really want to do it, without any pressure from the other side, then it is okay. But in-laws giving out special wish lists is ridiculous.
A good program to watch: Dowry Law
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*Originally posted by M: *
Jehaz is what the womans side give (unislamic custom, which probably has roots from the pre-islamic period of Pakistan). So you wouldnt get it unless your talking about the dowry which is what the man gives to the woman (and only the woman) and is a must for the marriage contract, although it can be any amount.
Anyway this jehaz is all rubbish, but it seems so ingrained in the Pakistani culture that everyone seems to give it.
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M, yeah I'm talking about the stuff parents give to their daughters like multiple jewellery sets, clothes, etc. and all that stuff that goes to the guy's family. It just gets so extreme and out of control ... what a waste!
^^, I agree, the extra jewellery, clothes etc. are just for show-off and i dont understand why you need to give more of this stuff than one can wear. I dont want any jahez from my parents but this is just how our family is. So my mother has already started collecting kitchen items which are essential to a new couple. And since they wont listen to me anyways, and its their khushi to give me this stuff, I have finally gotten quiet abt it :)
But I do think its unfair to the girl's family if the grooms side of the family asks for extra ordinary items. I mean, they are giving you the greatest asset of their life, their daughter, what more can you possibly ask for? Atleast thats my opinion.
Forget about the jewlery and all the clothes, but theres nothing wrong in giving more important items for the new house. I mean my mother already has jewlery and such set aside from me, and Im the last person who will take interest in that.But I might end up selling it once I get my own place.(So it could be useful.)
It's true, im Pakistan its usually used to show off to the people, which is just so silly.
In many cases the jahez is her security also. At the time of divorce this may be all that she'll be left with... she can sell these and survive 4 some time atleast.
Yeah she better have lots stuff and money, if not then bye bye.
u can't be serious samael!!
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*Originally posted by blushing_vision: *
In many cases the jahez is her security also. At the time of divorce this may be all that she'll be left with... she can sell these and survive 4 some time atleast.
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wao , i dont think it will provide any security for a relationship to last.
I am getting married in october, i dont see any point taking jahez from my in laws it not they cant afford it, i think only some jahil and show off kind of people practise this. I beleive if you are its more than enough jahez if a caring and loving person comes in your life.
Dr.Zakir Naik said in a lecture that it is haram for the guy to ask/demand dowry from the bride/her family.
I was talking to a colleague once about this dowry thing, he is from South Korea, and he told me about this 3 key custom. According to him in South Korea the bride’s family has to provide three keys to the groom, one key for a house, one key for a car, and one for an office. I don’t know the validity of his claims he is an ABCK (American Born Confused Korean).
the problem with jahez worsens if the girl is getting married in a rich family. Their expectations are so wide............ they expect good clothes 4 the girl 2 wear so that she is looks good in the crowd, furniture 4 the whole area especially if the couple occupies a newly built upper floor, and lots of things more.
aren't guys supposed to give the girl something, not the other way around...
^ that’s what I was wondering… in Pakistan - do the guys practice the proper Islamic way of giving the girl her Maher before marrying her? I don’t think I’ve ever heard any of my cousins giving the girl her due before signing the nikah contract.
Apart from Jahez, what bothers me are all the gifts you have to buy for the guy’s side of the family 
Here are parents who are giving their daughter away and she brings with her jahez but on top of that they have to buy clothes and things for the in laws!! What in the heck is that??
giving gifts, jewellry eyc to the inlaws is a pain in the *** 