Re: I’ve had it!! Enough is enough
I was raised to treat ALL guests staying in my house with respect. I don’t treat a guest differently just because they’re “long term”. This may be a difference in values b/t you and I but from what I have been taught, when you have a guest saying in your house, you don’t leave them alone in order to go have a romantic dinner with your spouse. If FIL had MIL or other adults in the house with him, my opinion MAY be different. But to leave a guest alone, especially a man old enough to be my own father, in the house with an infant while hubby and I go out on a romantic dinner isn’t something that’s acceptable in my book. Its rude…plain and simple.
Yes, maybe OPs dad MIGHT have offered to stay back and babysit. But that didn’t happen. We’re talking about the FIL who did not volunteer. Of course it would’ve been nice for him to offer but it should not be expected. As I said earlier, if OP is really this desperate for a couple’s night out, she should discuss the matter with her husband, hire a babysitter, and have a romantic date.
BTW, go back, re-read what OP wrote, and tell me exactly what led you to believe that her husband was ok with or was planning on leaving his father alone in the house with the baby. The husband put OP in charge of picking a restaurant and did not tell his father that he wished to have a “date night” with OP alone. Clearly the husband and OP were not on the same page. And as I said earlier……if OP nags her husband into leaving the FIL home alone when the husband clearly doesn’t want to do it…..how does this improve OP’s relationship with her husband? Is this really going to make OP’s husband love/respect her more?
P.S. I find the comment about “as long as he had a decent dinner at home” it’s fine to leave FIL alone very disrespectful. The people I know who have cats/dogs think of their pets like this. As long as the pets have food and shelter, it’s fine to leave them alone in the house. It would be nice for us to think of our elders a bit differently than how Westerners think of their pets. And I repeat, it would be very different if the MIL or another adult was with the FIL. But here, we’re talking about leaving the FIL by himself with an infant and a “decent dinner”.
To add to your post, elderly men are really not good caretakers of the baby. In my wildest dream, I would not expect my dad to take care of my baby because I know he doesn’t even know… It will be very rude of me to put him in-charge, however, he’d probably give me a big lecture that it is my responsibility. Babysitters are always helpful in these type of situations.