I've had it!! Enough is enough

[Paheli00]

Re: I’ve had it!! Enough is enough

@candy_apple

Calling her a bad mother? Are you flipping serious? **I would be livid if one of my in-laws said this to me. **And all because she leaves her baby in the crib? This, especially coming from your FIL, just makes it that much worse. Remind him that it is HIS grandchild that you feed, clothe, comfort, play with, care for and are raising. He should be grateful and appreciative of all the time and energy you put into raising HIS GRANDCHILD.

So if your in-laws told you that you are a bad mother, and you responded by saying what you wrote above…..do you honestly think that’s going to make the situation better? Do you think your husband would love/respect you even more because you stood up to his parents? Do you truly believe the tension in the house will become less by saying those comments back to the in-laws?

@candy_apple

About the V-day Dinner. This is not a short visit. He is visiting for a few months. Is ONE day alone at home really going to kill him? Most FIL/MILs that I know would TELL their son and DIL to go out and OFFER to watch the baby so that the parents can get a much needed date night.

No its not a short visit. But is it going to kill OP to not go out on a romantic date on 1 valentine’s day? Just b/c other in-laws are ok with watching an infant, that doesn’t mean that OPs FIL (keeping in mind that the MIL isn’t with him) should be EXPECTED to watch an infant by himself. Clearly OPs husband did not want to leave his father at home alone. Its great to want alone time with the husband but what good is that alone time if the husband is upset/resentful about the fact that his father is home alone? Date nights are supposed to bring a couple closer. For OP to complain/force her husband to leave the FIL alone in the house when the husband really doesn’t want to do that kind of defeats the purpose of a date night.

@candy_apple

^ Why won’t her hubby try and talk to his dad? It is his Islamic duty to ensure her emotional needs are met. If his parents are being rude etc. to her and they are clearly in the wrong, he should try to do his best to help ease the tension and create a situation that is conducive to her well-being.

I will repeat….this isn’t about what Islam says. Its about humans and how we react in daily situations. Of course its the husband’s Islamic duty to look after her emotional needs. However, if OP can’t control her own emotions and puts the husband in a position where the husband feels like he has to choose a side and go against his father……..how will that make the husband feel? OP keeps saying how she doesn’t want to lose her husband, she feels they’re drifting apart etc. Forcing the husband in a position where the husband has to speak up against his father…..is that really going to bring the husband emotionally closer to OP?