I've been unfriendly and can't make it up now...

…towards someone who didn’t deserve it. I was going through a depression some ago. I think it was ending of 2006 when a neighbour who lives in my appartment building was taking out his mail out of the mailbox just said hello and smiled at me friendly. I didn’t respond and just went to my own appartment. I was quite unfriendly. I was unfriendly towards everyone, taking out my depression and anger of family problems on other people.

I’ve been waiting to see him again or meet him again and if he would say hello again this time I would greet him back and just apologise to him about being unfriendly towards him the last time, explain I was depressed and that that was no reason to be so unfriendly towards him. I just feel guilty now, very guilty about being unfrienldy towards him, because afterwards I once ran into his older sister and she had told me that there had been many problems in their family, so that neighbour also had huge personal problems. How could I have been so mean towards him?! I feel very guilty now.

That is a deserved punishment for me I suppose. Allah has punished me further. That neighbour has moved now somewhere else and nobody knows where. I will never be able to apologise to him now and be friendly and just make it up to him. He had had so many problems of his own, and all I could think of were my own problems! I feel very guilty.

Feel free to call me anything negative you want. I deserve it.

Re: I've been unfriendly and can't make it up now...

You realised you were wrong, this is what matters as in the future you will avoid such kind of behaviour :)

you bullied him away :no:

Re: I've been unfriendly and can't make it up now...

You can make it up by being friendly to others from now on.

I wish I could make it up to him though. Especially since he had such difficult times in his life! He was always kind and friendly. Poor guy. Oh well.

Gr8 advice.

If you are a girl and he was a man then you didn't do anything wrong. IMO.

Re: I've been unfriendly and can't make it up now...

Be nice to other people...Im sure you will get a chance redeem yourself again.

Re: I've been unfriendly and can't make it up now...

Ur beating urself over not smiling back to someone? Who cares!

It would matter if the guy smiled at u and u cursed him out but u weren't mean so get over it. If it's bothering u that much, don't do it again.

Re: I've been unfriendly and can't make it up now...

...

Re: I've been unfriendly and can't make it up now...

awwwwww that sux, dont worry about it tho we have all that made that mistake at one point or another.

Re: I've been unfriendly and can't make it up now...

Stop worrying I do that all the time.

COme on... we know you arent rude enuff to repeat this mistake!!!

Re: I've been unfriendly and can't make it up now...

Notorious,

You learned your lesson and that's the important thing. That neighbor was meant to move to another place and although you feel the desire to apologize to him........please understand that most people (that we don't know very well) move on......from these petty issues.

If this neighbor is the kind of guy who can say hello and smile at others when he's having problems in his own life....then that probably means he's a positive person and prefers to not let life's problems bring him down. And a positive person is NOT going to DWELL ON/WORRY ABOUT/LOSE SLEEP over some woman he lived next door to who didn't respond to his hello. More than likely....he thought about your behavior for a few minutes.........and moved on with life.... with a smile.

If you are that concerned about him, then the next time you see his sister......tell her to apologize to him for you. And if that's not possible, then redeem yourself by mending relationships with other people you might have offended. You said you took out your anger on a lot of people. If you are still in touch with those people....and if they are an important part of your life....then mend relations with them.

Beating yourself up over something is not going to get you anywhere. The important thing is to learn from your mistakes because it make you a better person. From now on, try not to let your problems bring down other areas of your life.

Yes, that's what I'm definitely going to do when I see his sister again. I'm going to ask her to tell him that I'm sorry about it.

I'm not beating myself up about anything. It's usually the other people who do the beating in one way or another.

You deleted your post because you were being mean? Why?! In this case, I deserve that. And besides, my life is nowadays such, that I have to try to get used to people being mean to me while I have done none of the things they generally accuse me of.

I need people to be mean to me, I really need to get used to that. That will be my life now anyway. It's been my life the past few years and I often said nothing back, I always kept laughing and smiling.

Well, I"m going to continue to do that. Say almost nothing back and keep smiling and laughing at everything and just try to be a better person myself by learning more about life. We never stop learning about life, the learning process continues until we die. No matter how much someone studies or how old someone gets, there is always something to learn in life.

Please no more sympathetic posts here, thanks though for the ones I got and the good advice. But I was expecting negative posts here.

I want to get used to being around people all day who are mean towards me. That's my future and if I want to handle it, I have to get used to it.

You saying I am polite..Nice!!

Haven heard that in a while.

Your always nice to me.....:D

Re: I’ve been unfriendly and can’t make it up now…

I know, girls get better treatment, part of my upbringing :snooty:

Not everyone is like that.... some people are going to be nice to you no matter what...

Read this.... im sure you have heard it before...


**The Garbage Thrower: *by Haji Hadi*

She thought till late at midnight and finally decided how to take revenge from him. She could not sleep all night, because she was too eager to take revenge for the idols she worshiped. Even before the first ray of sunlight had entered her window, she was busy sweeping her house. She saved all the garbage in a basket, placed it on the roof of her house and proudly looked at it for a while, then with an impatient look on her face, she looked at the street that she lived on, and thought, "No one has ever seen him angry. Everybody will praise me when they will see him shouting at me and getting mad. They will laugh at him and make fun of him." She looked at the basket again and grinned.

Meanwhile, she heard footsteps, announcing the approach of the end of her waiting. "Finally my prey has arrived," she thought, as she saw a man dressed in clean, white clothes coming that way. She picked up the basket in her hands and threw all the garbage on him when he passed by. Much to the woman's disappointment, he did not say anything and continued on his way.

She did the same the following day thinking, "Maybe this time I will be able to annoy him." But he was too gentle to shout at a woman. She misinterpreted his attitude as fear and decided to repeat the same mischief everyday in order to keep him frightened, so that he might stop preaching the Oneness of God

This gentleman whom the woman hated so much was Muhammad (pbuh), the last prophet of Allah Almighty. He did not want to disappoint the woman and so continued to walk down the street everyday, instead of picking an alternate route, and prayed for the woman to recognise the Truth.

One day, the Holy Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) did not find the woman to be on the roof of her house with the basket. This worried him, because he thought something must have happened to her for not being over there. So he knocked at the door. "Who is it?" asked a feeble voice. "Muhammad bin Abdullah," was the reply, "can I come in?" The woman feared, "I am sick, and too weak to fight or talk back, therefore Muhammad has come to take revenge for what I have been doing to him." But the permission to enter her house was in such a gentle voice that she allowed him in.

Muhammad (pbuh) entered the house and told the woman that not finding her on the roof had worried him and he thus wanted to inquire about her health. On finding out how ill she was, he gently asked if she needed any help. Hypnotised by the affectionate tone in the Holy Prophet's (pbuh) blessed voice, she forgot all fear and asked for some water. He kindly gave her some in a utensil and prayed for her health, while she quenched her thirst. This made her feel very guilty for being so cruel to him in the past and she apologised for her mean behaviour. He forgave her and came to her house everyday to clean it, to feed her and to pray for her, till she was on her feet again. The kind attitude of the Holy Prophet (pbuh) inspired her into the recognition of the Truth, and his prayers were answered in the form of yet another addition into the growing number of Muslims