I personally don't think that it should only be the bride's day. It's everyone's day. Both the bride and groom, both sets of parents/families coming together and celebrating the union of the bride and groom.
If there was just the once function, and both side were footing the bill equally, then both sides should have a talk on what their needs, wants and desires are for that function.
If there were separate functions (one rukhsati and one valima), then I think the bride and her family should discuss their needs, wants and desires for that function, and the groom and his family shoudl do the same for the valima.
If the bride and groom were paying for the entire wedding themselves, they should be considerate of what both their parents need, want and desire as well, and try to incorporate it into the wedding.
Why start a marriage on a the wrong foot, just because the bride didn't get her way. I've said it many times, a wedding is just ONE DAY. A marriage is a life time. Work more on making that perfect.
^ Just wanted to add, I wanted the wedding to include as many people who knew us from different parts of our lives and wished us well. Some of those people have memories of us from times that we don't remember. They know us in ways we don't know about ourselves. Even that random family friend that used to hang out with our parents when we were 2.
I wanted all those people there because I saw it as a way of all those different parts of my life coming together to wish me well for the next stage of my life.
And the functions were my parents' and my inlaws' functions. They were the hosts. All I had to do was sit and look pretty and enjoy my time with my husband. Of course I was stressed. But I'm sure it could've been worse. I am not experienced at planning huge formal events for a diverse group of people. Why would I take that responsibility on when I have more important things to occupy me?
I strongly feel that even if the bride and groom are paying for the functions, it's very important to consider their parents' wishes. I mean it's one of the most important events in their life as well. I just don't understand how people can just insist on doing things their way and ignore their parents' input just because they are the ones footing the bill. Hate to say this but they've footed your bills even since you were born so the least you can do is meet them half way in honouring some of their wishes.
I'm starting to hate how some of you say "your parents footed your bills even since you were born so the least you can do is meet them half way in honoring some of their wishes."
I mean seriously? thats the most materialistic thing I've ever heard. (over exaggerating w/e)
You should hear your parents opinion because they are your parents not strangers or friends they've been with you your whole life if they didn't decide to have a child you wouldn't exist.
But really does that mean you should do everything they say? Personally I don't think so I think there should be a balance because as much as its the couples day its also the parents day as well..