warning: major venting but I do need advice so read at your own risk!!!
I love good food and if I try something new that turns out good, I make sure I share the recipe with every tom, dick, and harry who asks for it.. now I have this auntie who cooks really well but wont share the recipe for the sake of her life.. I would understand if she says NO flat out, but nah she keeps promising and not only that she woudl actually bring it up on several occassions saying oh yeah I have to give the recipe for that, will do that ASAP.. I never understood the trick in the beginning so I requested couple of times and you know what she did, she gave me the wrong recipe.. it was nothing compared to what she had served us..she hasn;t done this to me only but couple of other people too and I started noticing that only recently!!! I am embarassed now that I even asked for it and angry that I shared mine with her with sincerity (not that I am a good cook but there are few things that I just make better than other ppl )
I want to confront her but I dunno how to approach her wisely and politely?? Either I stop talking to her about sharing recipes or even cooking or I tell her to stop doing this by saying just dun share but please dun give out the wrong recipe by missing ingredients and such!!
Did you guys ever see someone like that??? I am just shocked at how stupid women can be
Oh God!! It seems like every social circle has an auntie like that. I know a couple of aunties like that actually who keep promising recipes but then never actually give them to me… and it sucks cuz at first I believe them and wait a century and a half before realizing it aint happening. But as far as someone giving me fake recipes, whoa thats never happened… that’s just plain crazy. :no: Sometimes I just dont get why people cant share something good… whats the harm in that? I understand if its some big family recipe that you dont wanna share.. cuz I have a couple like those too and Ill just say im really sorry but its a family recipe I got from my daadi or whatever and thats it… but I once asked a lady for her recipe of ginger scented coconut rice with basil shrimp oh my God it was divine and she made a big hoo haa out of it saying nooo way its her specialty… so next day I googled it and found it out myself and made sureee to invite her over next time
Gosh, women are just soooo catty… mokah dekha aur chhora nai :hinna:
Yeah I know a lady same like your's auntie. She asked for a good recipe from every friend but when she made some thing in a year and when we asked she replied add all ingredients in it (saray masalay daal ker bhoon lo) but we surprised what masala, all spices in the kitchen cabinet is not for all recipes, so now nobody share any recipe with her except one of our friend help her, we think she missused all of us. So we keep us away from her and met in formal way not like we met before.
There is a funny event happend with me, when I came to US after marriage, one of my hubby's friend invited us for dinner, after dinner dessert is served, she made it yummy, I asked the recipe, she told me their is milk, sugar, eggs and almond in it, when I asked how much is the quantity she replied I don't remember the quantity, I got surprised, when we were back I think how can anybody cook food and after few hous she don't remember the quantity, I googled the recipe having same ingredients and the result is Baked Egg Halwa, then I made the same dessert after one week till now several time and shared recipe with most of my friends who asked the recipe.
^^ sometimes I don't remember my recipe just after making it specially when I am trying to make several things at a time and just reading the recipe and following it as you go, but I always bring out my recipe and give it to people when they asked so maybe it is possible for the people to forget the qty just after making it
hehe so its just not me.. in fact it's very annoying now.. to the point that I dun even like talking to her anymore!!!
I would understand not sharing the recipe right away but why give out the wrong recipe later and then justify it by saying, oh you must have messed it up somehow!!my question is, why with only your recipes??
Yourpresident: I guess not, unfortunately people tend to do that very often :-(
so how do you girls treat such people.. first thing I am gonna do now is not share my recipes, she can come on GS and search but she aint getting it from me anymore :D I do want to confront her though politely. :$
GTG…this reminds me of that episode of Raymond where the MIL Marie gives Debra the recipe and ingredients for sth…but hers never turns out the way her MIL’s does…Marie was so smart that she had stuck on a fake label of sth else on a spice bottle,just to mess up the flavors …Evil…!!
i know this person who makes very nice naans…and the naan lover I am I once asked her how she makes 'em…she said oh just add maida nad water and make them…I got the hint and never asked again…
the thing that I hate most is when someone asks for a recipe and I tell them they start keeray-nikaalnay in it…I mean don’t ask for it if you know you are not gonna like it r yours is just so perfecty to begin with…!!
i generally am not good at telling recipes…I miss certain things(never intentionally though )…
I know an aunty like that and she is a great cook! We all call her the "desi" Martha Stewart! She stayed with is a couple of times and took several recipes from me like BBQ beef and haandi gola kabab.. when I asked her for her Kulfi recipe she said "beta just have it whenever u come over to my house" Argh!
She was over 2 weeks ago and asked for my butterscotch pudding recipe and I said the same "Aunty just have it everytime u're in Dubai.."
Ive heard of aunties not sharing before --but giving the wrong recipe Just learn to say no, at least thats less evil!! Personally I am flattered whenever someone tastes something I make and asks for the recipe, I would say no or hesitate to share it, I dont know why some people feel so threatened to share, as if we are going to make a book out of their secret recipes or something
ok the ginger scented coconut rice is quite complicated because of the ingredients but you could find them in any thai food store:
Makes 4 to 6 servings
2 cups (14 ounces/400 grams) jasmine rice
3 thick stalks fresh lemongrass, tied into a knot
1 1/2 cups (12 fluid ounces/375 milliliters) water
1 cup (8 fluid ounces/250 milliliters) unsweetened coconut milk
1 teaspoon kosher salt
10 whole daun salam leaves
2 tablespoons Crisp-Fried Shallots
Place the rice in a 1 1/2- or 2-quart (1.5- or 2-liter) saucepan. Fill the pot halfway with cold water. If any rice hulls or small twigs float to the surface, scoop them aside with your hand and discard them. Gently swirl your fingers through the rice until the water becomes cloudy from the surface starch on the rice grains, about 20 seconds. Be careful not to massage the rice aggressively. You don't want to crack or break the grains. Allow the rice to settle for a few seconds. Tilt the pot over a sink and drain out all the water, cupping the rice with your hand to prevent it from spilling out of the pot. Repeat this process with 3 more changes of water. The water after the first 2 rinses will be quite cloudy; by the fourth rinse, it will be much less so. The water need not run completely clear by the final rinse. Slightly cloudy water is fine. Leave the rinsed rice in the pot.
Add the lemongrass, cooking water, coconut milk, salt, and daun salam leaves (if using) to the rinsed rice. Stir well to combine, making sure that the lemongrass stalks and daun salam leaves are as fully submerged in the rice as possible.
Place the pot over high heat and bring the liquid to a boil, stirring with a large spoon to prevent the rice at the bottom of the pot from scorching or burning. Don't worry if the liquid thickens considerably as it comes to a boil, a result, in part, of the fats in the coconut milk combining with the starch in the rice. Also don't worry if the lemongrass knots become unraveled from the stirring. The finished rice will still be fine. Allow the rice to boil for 15 seconds, continuing to stir to prevent the rice at the bottom of the pot from scorching or burning. Immediately reduce the heat to the lowest possible setting and cover the pot tightly with the lid. Continue cooking for 15 minutes. Don't be tempted to lift or remove the lid during this time. You'll lose essential cooking steam if you do.
Meanwhile, if you'll be using the fried shallots, make them now and set aside.
Remove the pot from the heat and allow the rice to continue to steam, covered, away from the heat for an additional 10 minutes.
Open the pot and discard the lemongrass and daun salam leaves (if used). Gently fold the rice over with a spoon, evenly distributing the aromatic flavors that may be concentrated in pockets in the rice. Transfer the rice to a deep serving bowl and fluff it well with a fork, lifting it into a peaked mound. Top with fried shallots (if using). Serve hot or warm. (If serving the rice warm, keep it covered with aluminum foil until then.)
I have a simpler version of this also from betty crocker and it takes less time and has more common ingredients but I like the taste of this much better... let me know if you want the other one.
The basil shrimp recipe I use is spicy..
• 1 teaspoon white peppercorns
• 2 garlic cloves, finely chopped
• 1 1/2 tablespoons coarsely chopped cilantro
• 1 tablespoon minced fresh ginger
• 1 or 2 fresh Thai or serrano peppers, minced
• 1 1/2 teaspoons finely grated lime zest
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 2 tablespoons unsaturated vegetable oil like canola or olive oil
• 1 pound medium or large shrimp, shelled and deveined
• 2 tablespoons soy sauce
• 1/2 cup torn Italian fresh basil leaves
• 1/2 cup torn fresh mint leaves
In a small dry skillet, toast the peppercorns over moderate heat just until fragrant, about 1 minute. Transfer to a mortar and coarsely crush. Add the garlic, cilantro, ginger, peppers, lime zest and salt and pound to a coarse paste.
Heat the oil in a large skillet. Add the paste and stir-fry over high heat for 30 seconds. Add the shrimp and stir-fry until opaque throughout, about 2 minutes. Stir in the soy sauce. Transfer to a bowl, add the basil and mint and serve.
Serve with steamed white jasmine rice.
LOL now thats unbelievable.. we can;t let go of asking for recipes :D
Chipsy.. I sooo remember that.. If I was living with that auntie she would have so done that to me.. honestly I never realized it in the beginning because she is very sweet and nice but once I tried her recipes couple of times and other people shared the same concern.. I was convinced that she is the culprit!!!
you can make excellent naans now.. thanks to GS.. hiana???
Gina.. I loved that.. I am thinking about giving her the taste of her medicine too by promising and never sharing the recipe.. hopefully she wil get the hint. :D
midnighteyes: I dunno what they are scared of.... its not like their family recipe anyway.. oh well to each on their own.. I would just return the favor too now but I had to vent :$
sooo weird that people are so protective about recipes! i always give out recipes when people ask, but rarely ask for recipes unless its my mom or khalas... my mom jokes with me that if its not a family recipe, i'm not easily impressed, but the truth is that i'm just too lazy to actually request a recipe from someone with exact measurements and ingredients. even when people ask me for recipes, i find it superhard because i don't ever cook with measurements but just "know" when the masalas are correct because of the aroma the food gives off, but i always try to give as close to what i think i used as i can. heh, this is why i cook wayyyy more than i bake.
I used to ask for the butter chicken receipe to a friend. She always said sure, I will give you next time. Next time never came. Then another friend asked me to come over when she was making the butter chicken and see how it is done. She puts everything by making guess not measurement. I saw and made it by myself and served it to friend who won't share. She could not say a word.
Other family friend makes delis fish and has told everyone that she won't share the receipe but will make it for whoever wants to eat.
I don't mind sharing receipe but feels little hesitant with my one family member, who asks for receipe and tells me not to make it for my own dinner party because she will be making it for her dinner party.
BTW, I still end up sharing the receipe with her because she does tell everyone that she got the receipe from me.
Lol this one time, I was asking an auntie how she made the caramal for the flan, she gave me the wrong recipe, her ABCD daughter who was standing next to us said "mom this is not how you make it"...lol... and aunty was adamant that this is how she makes it, anyway later later the ABCD daughter told us what exactly her mom makes it....
I love sharing recipes but I must admit, I so don't appreciate when people mess up my recipes by substituting ingredients or altering the method and then come to me complaining how my recipe was not good! :(
[devils advocate] maybe that particular dish is something that they are good at. It's their specialty dish, so whenever someone eats it and requests their recipe, they are flattered and feel happy b/c that person liked it so much, and to these type of ppl, having someone come over for that special dish is not a nuisance but rather welcome.
Some women do this because they think/believe the only thing they have to offer the world, the only way for them to have any power/influence/recognition is through their cooking. So no wonder they guard these talents as if they were some sort of government secrets.
It may also be cultural. My MIL was talking about how on EID when they were growing up, they would go from house to house for one particular dish the person was known for. You didn't make a meal or a series of dishes. Just one or two famous ones.
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Just learn to say no, at least thats less evil!! Personally I am flattered whenever someone tastes something I make and asks for the recipe, I would say no or hesitate to share it, I dont know why some people feel so threatened to share, as if we are going to make a book out of their secret recipes or something