Is it just me or does dating complicate things?
Im not really all that religious but I have always felt that dating is just too much work…logically it doesnt make much sense to me to date someone before marriage.
Agree.
I find this 'bf' 'gf' thing pointless. Marriage is about compromises, sacrifice. When its dating and even a slight bump comes up couples just break-up. Therefore its missing the whole point of a relationship.
As for religon same here, my motivation for not indulging in....'things'...before marriage is more to do with the fact some stuff ought to be done wtih the wife. The person who one is supposed to be spend their life with!
Hence don't see the point in dating and going out with random people and breaking up, pointless and a waste of time! (Obviosuly some people will disagree big time but this is my view!)
Re: Its Complicated...
Its not work its fun. You meet new people, with different views and experiences. You click with some and you don't with others. What you don't want to do is start dreaming of kids and white picket fence on the first date.
Its not work its fun. You meet new people, with different views and experiences. You click with some and you don't with others. What you don't want to do is start dreaming of kids and white picket fence on the first date.
But CM, what motivation will a person have in a relationship, knowing, that there WILL be a break-up eventually? Or highly likely?
Re: Its Complicated...
I don't see how it complicates things. It is just good companionship. I don't know about others but I do need a break from the usual sausage fest every now and then. Dating is a good way to get to know someone, and if things go well between the two, it could lead to a long term relationship, or a marriage. If it doesn't, well you move on. Like CM said, make sure you dont start dreaming of kids and stuff on the first date, or first few dates.
Re: Its Complicated...
Its not about dreaming of white picket fences and babies at all to be honest.
Its about other complications:
- STD's
- unplanned pregnancies
- hiding things from your parents or family
- not being able to really talk about your relationship with anyone that can give you real solid advice like your parents
- where is the relationship going? are both parties in it for the long haul or is one just having fun?
- breakups! ohmigosh, how many threads do we read on breakups in Life1?
- getting over someone
I think its much more trouble then its really worth...logically it doesnt make much sense to date.
Re: Its Complicated...
Arrange is like home cooked food , and dating is like fast food . In the end both have same goal , to fill up your tummy and keep it halaal . :)
Re: Its Complicated...
The problem i see with a lot of the breakup threads here is that as soon as you lay your eyes on teh signficant other, they begin to imagine in words of CM, white picket fences and 12 children. so when something does go bad, it's not like you broke up with some boy, it's like you're going through a divorce. and that kind of mentality i don't get. why do you immediately start thinking about marriage even if you guys are like 16 or whatever. get rid of that and life would be so much more better.
err i have something else to say but i gots to run. i'll add later.
Yeah,i so very much agree with you :k:
You could be dating and not having sex. Esp from our desi perspective, not everyone who is dating is having sex. Like I have dated, but technically I am a virgin 
However, If one is unable to keep it in the pants, then at least one can do some risk management.
Who doesn’t hide things from their parents and family? And how many people go running to their mum for relationship advice? You always have friends to get all sorts of advice from.
Again, the real substance boils down to dreaming of kids and white picket fence too early, and then ending up hurt. Sheer stupidity I would say.
Re: Its Complicated...
and to add...just by 'dating' there is no bf/gf relationship established..let alone sex and stds and pregnancies.
dating is not the same thing as a relationship, is it?
khochay ki bacchi..tumhari technicality pay sadqay jaaon 
will agree you in these thoughts.
the problem with most of the people is that they consider dating as the last and ultimate thing. instead of considering it as something to judge the next person for the next level of relation they consider it as the only level and that’s where it gets complicated ..
Is it just me or does dating complicate things?
Im not really all that religious but I have always felt that dating is just too much work...logically it doesnt make much sense to me to date someone before marriage.
Suniyay jee, dating is naat a laagical thing. It is based on emotions. :@:
and to add...just by 'dating' there is no bf/gf relationship established..let alone sex and stds and pregnancies.
dating is not the same thing as a relationship, is it?
well in some area it is considered to be a relationship .. .. depends on how you take it .. but in my point of view .. dating isn't a relationship
Re: Its Complicated...
ya mon rhetorical question :)
Ya Pir, the other day one of our google mullas mentioned some 40 types of zina. Yours truly must have committed - knowingly and unknowingly - some 39 of them. The one remaining is the most widely known one, which, I always ignorantly thought was the only one that fitted the definition. Hence the use of the term “technically”.
Re: Its Complicated...
i say date all you want. have as many flings as you want. heck have 20 crushes at the same time even. in the end it will just tell you more about what sort of person you are and what you want in the prospective partner. there will come a point when the right person will come along and you will know it is the right one because you've quote unquote played the field.
as for advice i would not go to my mother for relationship advice. for numerous reasons. major being she has a different relationship definition than me. i would go to some other perosn, friend, relative or whoever. and dating doesn't necessarily equate sex. the other point hiding and lying. from what i've seen it happens when you pick the person who you know your family and friends will not approve of. so why not use that brain and automatically reject such a person without getting all bollywood about it. at the same time i seriously doubt anyone tells their family immediately after teh first kiss that they have a significant other. it usually happens after a while, when you know for sure this is a serious thing.
dating can also be halal. ever heard of speed dating in masjids? yeah.
Speed dating in masjids? 
Re: Its Complicated...
yup. it's organized by the masjid's committee and it's basically speed dating. except in bars it's in the community hall of the mosque and you can meet the future muslimah or momin of your dreams tehre.