marriage that is. Am I normal? most girls my age are ready and mature enough, and dying to get married. I was ready when I was 18, but thats because I was a naive little girl, but as of now the thought of spending my life with 1 person scares the sheeeeet out of me.
Help me to overcome my fear please 
because I am feeling the family pressure and they think when i say i dont wanna get married im being a typical shy desi girl who always says that prior to marriage.
Re: it scares the crappers out of me
well wats ur prob cat.... wats wrong in getting married, and i don't understand ur point of spending rest of your life with one person.... its realy weird.....
Re: it scares the crappers out of me
nothing wrong - i think marriage is wonderful, but im so scared ... of all the horrible possibilities and all the things that could go wrong in a marriage and then it makes me wonder, why even bother? and what if the love fades after a while? what if what iff negative thoughts
Re: it scares the crappers out of me
-ive THOUGHTS.....cat just kick them out of ur mind .... acha socho acha ho ga...INSHALLAH
Re: it scares the crappers out of me
yea well if always thinks abt negatives and things that can go wrong then u wont be able to do anything in ur life. Like how r u even gonna drive ur car since ur gonna be ****scared on what happens if you get into an accident or run someover. So just let loose, let things occur and lessen the fear of consequences.
Re: it scares the crappers out of me
hey cat yr supposed to have 9 lives yeh...
Re: it scares the crappers out of me
the character of love keeps on changing as they both mature in relationship.life is always uncertain.even in the worst possible situation u wont b alone,kuch nahin tu bhi u will have ur children,even if nothing good comes out of it u tried,u do ur duty n u will be rewarded in hereafter.yeh life kya hay,buss kuch bahana chahiye time guzarnay ka.uncertainity is a state of mind,now ur thinking wat if that happens, after having a life alone for the next 10 yrs u will b thinking wat if i had given it a shot,so talk to people who seem happy,get as many good views as u can,dont think wat if,think I will do good.
Re: it scares the crappers out of me
That's really weird Cat. I don't know why you think that way. What is the alternative to marriage.....service yourself 10 times a day? eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkk
You gotta learn to let go and be posotive, about life and yourself. If you do that you'll reject the losers. In the end, you just need that one sweet one.
Re: it scares the crappers out of me
You gotta learn to let go and be posotive, about life and yourself. Think you deserve more and beter. You worth more, someone special....get your confidence up. If you do that you'll reject the losers. In the end, you just need that one sweet one.
[/QUOTE]
yeh its abit like sieving the atta in the sieve u r left with the crap (losers)
Re: it scares the crappers out of me
as always dont take the therapy of “feeling i am special” to extremes,otherwise noone will seem to be good enuff.y not resort to istikhara.best thing to do wen ur uncertain of the prospects of any rishtaa.
Re: it scares the crappers out of me
cat sab choro yeh batao who is that guy??
Re: it scares the crappers out of me
Some men are afraid of marriage too, Cats…
Re: it scares the crappers out of me
If something goes terribly wrong and the situation can't be remedied, then go for a divorce.
Divorce is a great thing, for some people.
Otherwise, give it your all. Being scared is natural. Its ok. I bet the guy you're going to end up with is also crapping in his pants.
Re: it scares the crappers out of me
^...nah, divorce is never a great thing. sometimes it's unavoidable, but it's never great...
and cat - i think everyone goes through the feelings you're going through now. 'oh my gosh, i have to spend my entire live with this one dude' ..sometimes it does get depressing. but the thing is that you'll change, he'll change..things get different as you go along.
and i'm not too sure what your situation is right now with your parents pressuring you to get married or what not...but never feel pressured (i know it's a hard thing to do...) but the rest of your life is always worth more than just agreeing to go along with it because 'it's the thing to do'
Re: it scares the crappers out of me
:k:
i can’t help cause i feel the same
then what’s the point of getting married??
Re: it scares the crappers out of me
Paris, you gotta have a way of getting out of a marriage once it becomes destructive. If divorce didn't exist, then you're encouraging people who abuse marriage.
Re: it scares the crappers out of me
catty single life is awesome.
After shadi you get to have
Freak in law [father ]
Monster In law [mother]
S*it in law [sister]
B*stardd in law brother]
and the other entire khandan.
I say screw shadi wadi and live single life and as far as kids are concern adopt them and live happy life.
So far my sas and susar are fine. I think they are very nice with me etc but i am afriad. I have plans what to do if negative things occur.
I am afraid to go forward even though i have come this far.
But catty
if there is someone who gives you that beautiful butterfly feeling dont let him go ;). Not many of us are lucky enough to live with their love
Re: it scares the crappers out of me
Life is unpredictible and I suppose no one can guarrantee that your marriage will be a good one. It certainly won't be perfect (but if it was, that would be weird and cool :D)
There are a couple things you have to remember:
1) Though your hesitation may help you avoid bad relationships, it is also keeping you from developing good ones.
2) A lot of this is about faith: in god, your family, and your spouse-to-be. At some point we have to be willing to give up knowing and predicting and being certain about everything in our lives. It's okay to take a chance on someone or something that is meaningful to you.
Of course, who to marry is an important decision and should not be taken lightly. But hopefully when a good time and a good person comes along, you'll be more comfortable committing.
Just remember that if the worse should happen, you have family and friends to support you.
Re: it scares the crappers out of me
wow such hoshiar responses from guppies 
NIa, but you are technically married? I was expecting more encouragement from someone in your place. But you’re right, hopefully someone will give me that feeling so that I cant let him slip by.
lussi - with marriage you’re involving other human beings, and making a significant impact on their lives. With that comes expectations - from him, his parents, his family. Forget about just worrying for yourself alone.
I dont know how people commit to each other when they’re just 19/20 years old, sometimes?
I really wouldnt want divorce to be an option. Dr. Phil says him and his wife never even mention the ‘D’ word.
Man with the Plan - thats hilarious. 10 times a day? Good for you :k:
Sehar - very nicely said - I will contemplate over your wise words.
So like tell me, how do your responsibilities change?
Cat still trying to see +tives in marriage