What do you say to someone who says, “It is better to never have been born than to have been born and have to struggle as we do. No worries then.”
I’d like an answer from the Islamic perspective and outside of it as well. Looking for a comparsion really, pro’s and con’s. Things you can argue to someone who says such a thing. Thanks.
The person who is saying such a thing is an idiot. I won’t waste my time with such losers, and will instead waste it on doing something worth while, like contributing on GUPSHUP. You should do the same.
Masla hal :k:
^ Its different when one your best friend comes up with such sentiments.
i believe.. when someone says something like that... Allah Mian does something really special to them within a few days... and their way of thinknig changes.... its true... honest :)
tell her/him.. at least she/he has been lucky enuff to live this many years... think about those who do not get a chance at life.. who die before even waking up... think about those people who have lost loved ones... no matter how tough life is.... we should just be thankful that life is what it is... it could have been much worst..
to be not born at all.. we would never have had the chance to witness Allah Mian's masterpiece... which is the human body itself... and this world... just be thankful i say :)
there are many people out there who have it worst than u... and who may not even have the chance to tell someone how they feel...
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*Originally posted by Sharafat_Ka_Namouna: *
^ Its different when one your best friend comes up with such sentiments.
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Make best friends more carefully. Why associate with such passimist people. Sooner or later it rubs off.
^^ yes, tell them that and they say "You'll know if you were in my shoes". I guess nothing you say can change their opinion. People in such cases need a lot of inspiration and consciousness that they are not the only ones in dejected situations. something happens and boom! thats the end of the world! pessimism is a sin…life is great if you look at it the other way around.
Needless to say that I've been into such conversations countless times with no conclusion because of the stubbornness of such people. They are not even willing to accept the reality…
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*Originally posted by Faisal: *
Make best friends more carefully. Why associate with such passimist people. Sooner or later it rubs off.
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they were not like that from the begining..
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*Originally posted by Sharafat_Ka_Namouna: *
Needless to say that I've been into such conversations countless times with no conclusion because of the stubbornness of such people. They are not even willing to accept the reality…
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i think the problem is.... reality is the thing thats getting to them... they end up seeing only the bad things happening in life and forget that good ones.... its called being pessimistic...
^ probably yes, but they never listen do they...
na... but just give it time... im sure they'll come around... its a passing phase :)
^ I hope so :-)
Re: It is better to never have been born at all....
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*Originally posted by Munni: *
"It is better to never have been born than to have been born and have to struggle as we do. No worries then."
I'd like an answer from the Islamic perspective and outside of it as well. Looking for a comparsion really, pro's and con's. Things you can argue to someone who says such a thing. Thanks.
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What would I say?
Not be born? Hmm...yeah why not. Nothing to live for. Do you want me to push you over or are you gonna jump any time today cuz I'm late for my commitments. Alright, off ya go.
No but really, I've come across a few people who've said it. Ordinarily enough, I am a pessimist who is in the process of being a realist. Its hard I tell ya. What I say to 'em. Think about that one moment where you had a few seconds of bliss. Now think of another, count your moments one after another. Do the same for the hellish moments that make a mountain over bliss. Compare 'em. Keep doing it as a daily events calendar. How can you change your hell into heaven? Do you not cherish those mere moments of bliss that have accidently bumped into you by chance? Realize what you have and not what you don't. Be thankful for where you are, from where you came, not where you want to be. Enjoy these last moments however crude they maybe, cuz He might just grant you your deathwish or a break in the clouds for some sunshine. If you're gonna sit here and complain without a plan. Thats all you're good for, lipservice (yeah, insulting them really hits 'em and motivates pessimists cuz its an insult to their already shattered ego). So far, I've been successful in convincing people in my path who've come to me with this statement.
Munni, people who think in this way are seriously quite pessimistic and always see the glass as being half empty. Life is a gift from God and saying that it’s better to never have been born is basically tantamount to blasphemy as far as I’m concerned. The person should be extremely grateful that he/she is alive to begin with! Do yourself a favor: either try to show this person the optimistic view of life or lose him/her fast!
Right, so how would you go about doing this, what would you explain to them? Thanks.
assuming that the person you are talking about is normal :~) then coming to think of it s/he is right to some extent (in general). for example...w.r.t religion, we know that if a child(i don't know the exact age limit) passes away then s/he goes to heaven[if needed, perhaps somebody can be more specific on this]. now to say that s/he would be deprived of the worldly things in heaven or vice versa cannot be argued. i think this is a very intricate issue and there is no right or wrong view about this.
however the bottom line is since the afore mentioned didn't happen so live with it :-D
"Sleep is lovely, death is better still, not to have been born is of course the miracle." -Heinrich Heine [a german philosopher and poet]
It's understandable if someone says that. There are people who only had misery. If something like that caries on for years, someone can become pessimistic.
But they shoudl try to get over it. If that perosn is faithful, remind him/her that we are not allowed ot be ungrateful to Allah.
I don't remember it well, but I'm sure someone knows this hadith, it went something like if a man can't walk, he should thank Allah for his eyes adn ears, and if he's deaf in addition, he shoudl thank fo rhis eyes, and on top of it, he's blind too, he should thank for his tongue or something, that he can still talk at least, well I'm probably quoting it all wrong, may Allah forgive me for that, but it went something like that anyway, the point was, that there is always something left to be grateful for and it's a sin to be ungrateful.
Do you know what also might help, give that person a notebook and a pen, and tell him/her to write in it each day, 5 positive things of that day. LIttle things willd o, like I enjoyed the sunshine in my room in the morning, or the smile and laughter of a child, etc. That will bring the focus more on positive things.
But don't let helping someone 'ruin' yourself, you have to be careful wtih that too! It's ok to help people, but not at your own expense. I mean, you can't help someone who doesn't want to behelped. You can try try try, but if nothing helps, what can you do? Sometimes while you are trying to help such a person, you risk of getting drained and depressed yourself. So you have to be careful with that.
Good luck. :)
And I think this is an hadith too, but I'm not sure, I 'm always confusing everything, may Allah forgive me if saying it wrong, but a human never gets more problems or burden or something, than one can handle.
**Munni tell your friend that it's a sin
to be hopeless. If they put you in that mood as well,
then they'll be responsible not just for their sin but yours
too.
No matter how serious an issue that may have led up to them
thinking this way, the person should understand that
what didn't kill them will make them stronger. We rise
every morning with a hope, take risks and go on with life.**
i’ve felt like that at some points in my life too Munni…i can count those times on my fingertips.. 
but yes sometimes the going does get very rough but alhamdulillah…
i think u should try to be there for her and encourage her gently…its tough sometimes to face difficult situations and one can feel very depressed n pessimistic, specially when alone…give her some time and make sure she doesn’t do something foolish…