Re: istikhara
Peace Tpervaiz
Guilt is different from knowing in your heart whether you made the right or wrong decision. Any serious relationship outside marriage is wrong anyway … So to move away making space is the right thing to do … Calling off a marriage is another thing altogether, but it seems you cannot marry him due to how you know your family will react.
The best thing to do is to advise him to bring his family over or contact your parents if they have not yet made contact and formally ask your rishta. Put the decision in the fate of how their coming to ask you for your hand will work.
It is not advisable to run away with him … If that is what you are thinking of doing …
It’s not about knowing if he’s okay for you or not either … You obviously like him, that means he is okay for you … The question is, could there be anyone better that lies in your destiny? Or could he bad for you later on? Any questions you need to clear up between him and your two families first … Compatibility. You can of course pray for him and yourself to get married and for it to be successful …
But … Istikhara should be done in matters that you CAN choose, not can’t … If you can’t then it is out of your hands anyway. And if that is case then just pray for consoling of your heart and finding another quickly as just a normal du’a.
istikhara is done in the presence of all knowable knowledge obtained and rationally decided upon then to put trust in Him. This istikhara is for your parents to do since it is their decision initially and your choice is already made … The green light needs to come from them not in your dream …
After getting your green light parental consent then you must do istikhara … It is at that point you will get clear signs.
People ask the wrong questions all the time … Parents need to look for signs … and stylise their questions to be thinking deep into the future avoiding materialistic lines and focusing on character exclusively, material lines can be used as secondary measures or to decide between two similar rishtas.