Istikhara

Society Religion & Philosophy
1

Hey ppl im sure this one has been discussed many times before.
But anyways, i tried doing istikhara cos im interested in this girl that i would like to marry.
Now the confusion is; my friends say im supposed to see some sort of sign, eg someone may tell me the nxt day that she is a bad person etc etc. (so that would mean NO i shouldnt marry her)
whereas i always thought that ur supposed to see something in a dream ?

i have tried istikhara 3 times, and havent seen anything in a dream or any sign.
so does anyone know what im supposed to do now ?

2

My friend,

How did you know that you had to conduct an 'istikhara' before making a decision in your life?

The whole purpose that Allah sent us to this life is to make decisions and make more good ones than bad.

If we are going to ask him about making these decisions than where's the 'responsibility' of making your decisions yourself and accepting repurcussions?

I had a mangnee. I did my 'istikhara' as my mom told me to.. It turned out right, as per her definitions. The mangnee didn't! Before the breakup I took another istikhara to see if I should take that step. Again the istikhara came out right!

I've filed it under "Baloney" for the time being till someone comes up with a better explanation from the Qur'an necessitating the need for asking Allah before you make your own decisions.

These are GOD's revelations that we recite to you truthfully. In which Hadith other than GOD and His revelations do they believe?(45:6)

3

eemo,

One does not necessarily see the outcome of the Istikhaarah in a dream. That is not to say, that this should be ruled out altogether. However, the result of the Istikhaarah can be determined by other events too.

Once you have made Istikhaarah, act upon your inclinations. In other words, do what your heart feels comfortable and satisfied with. In your case, whether your heart feels inclined and comfortable with asking for the sister's hand in marriage.

If you notice many obstacles or barriers come between you and your wishes, then this can be a sign from the Istikhaarah, that she is not the right one for you. Such an obstacle may come in the form of a straight rejection by either her or her family, or perhaps you yourself may notice reasons for incompatibilty as events unfold.

However, if nothing prevents you from approaching her parents with a marriage proposal, and they and their daughter agree to the offer, then this is clearly a sign that you ought to marry her, as she is the girl for you Insha'Allaah.

Throughout all the stages of your actions continuously supplicate to Allaah, and ask Him to bless you with the best, and always consult your heart.

Remember, the feelings and signs of Istikhaarah, both good and bad, are from Allaah - subhaan wa ta'aala - so be at the very least content with what he has decredd for you, and you will see many blessings from Him in the future.

... and He - the the Highest Authority to Judge - knows best.

WasSalaam

4

Its also a good idea sometimes to ask someone you consider pious & trustworthy to do the Istikhara for you!

5

PakistaniAbroad,

And how do you know that he does not need to perform Istikhaarah?

Istkhaarah, is to consult and seek guidance from Allaah subhaan wa t’aala. Do you not suplicate to Allaah? The first verse of the Qur’aan, Al-Faatihah, is a supplication asking Allaah to guide us to the straight path. This is also the supplication you make to Allaah in your salaah (prayer) while you stand in front of Allaah in a state of humility. Further, when you sit in Tashahud (sitting in prayer), you are supplicating and asking Allaah to guide you. Similarly, supplication involved in the salaah (prayer) of Istikhaarah is a supplication asking for guidance.

The Prophet – salallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam – said: “ The supplication, it is worship”.

All of this clearly highlights the importance of supplicating, together with a fact directly related to Istikhaarah, that one of the companions, Jaabir ibn Abdullaah (radhiAllaahu anhu) narrated that: the Prophet – salallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam – would instruct us to pray for guidance in all of our concerns, just as he would teach us a chapter from the Qur’aan. He – salallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam – would say, “If any of you intends to undertake a matter, then let him pray two supererogatory units (i.e. two raka’ah naafilah) of prayer and after which he should supplicate … [Then the supplication is stated here].”

I would like to know how you did Istikhaarah, and how was it interpreted?

[quote]
I've filed it under "Baloney" for the time being
[/quote]

Do not insult a Religion, simply becuase you have no knowlede of it.

6

ahmadjee,

[quote]
Its also a good idea sometimes to ask someone you consider pious & trustworthy to do the Istikhara for you!
[/quote]

I'm afraid there's no authenticity behind this statement.

However, it can be said, that all parties involved in a matter should perform Istikhaarah. For example, in the case of eemo, his parents and the girl along with her parents also ought to seek guidance from Allaah via this method and through supplication.

eemo,

One thing i forgot to mention. It is also recommended, that once Istikhaarah has been conducted, advise should be sought by those who are experienced in such matters, might they be members of the family, friends or scholars. At the same time make plenty of du'aa and act upon your instincts.

... and Allaah knows best.

7

Sentinal bhai,

I was talking from my personal experience! :)

Please let us all know where it is stated that we shouldn't ask a third party for Istikhara?

Indeed personal Istikhaara is prefered!

8

ahmadjee,

With all due respect, in direct matters of religion, if there is no basis for a statement or an issue - from the Qur'aan, the Sunnah, the understanding of the Companions or a consensus of the scholars who follow/followed them - then personal opinions should be left with ones self. This is simply for the reason, as not to send wrong messages to what exactly is part of the Religion and what is not a part of it. With personal opinions, there is further a danger, that due to the lack of knowledge or understanding of many of us with regards to our Religion, we may take this personal opinion and make it a part of the Religion, thus introducing a newly invented matter. This is very dangerous, as i'm sure you'll agree.

[quote]
Please let us all know where it is stated that we shouldn't ask a third party for Istikhara?
[/quote]

In matters related to Religion (as in many other cases), it is for the one who is suggesting something to bring forward the evidence and proof, just like in any court of law (as an example) - if someone believes that his wallet was stolen, then it is up to him, firstly to prove that he had a wallet (perhaps through an invoice or receipt), and secondly to prove where the wallet was stolen (maybe through witnesses), and so on and so forth.

Similarly, i can bring to your attention that the people involved in a given matter, are expected to make Istikhaarah for themselves, by presenting you with the hadeeth of the Messenger of Allaah - salallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam - upon the authority of Ibn Jaabir:

“If any of you intends to undertake a matter, then let him pray two supererogatory units (i.e. two raka’ah naafilah) of prayer and after which he should supplicate … [Then the supplication is stated here].”

Now it is up to you to present your evidence, that ...

[quote]
Its also a good idea sometimes to ask someone you consider pious & trustworthy to do the Istikhara for you!
[/quote]

However, as you said that this was only your personal experience, you're not obliged to do so in this instance, as it is not a part of the religion.

... and Allaah - subhaan wa ta'aala - knows best.

regards

9

Bhai Sentinal,

I agree with you totally! And thank you for pointing out the Hadiths.

Let me check with my elders who do believe in doing the istakhara themselves & also asking others to do it for them, what do they have to say about this Hadiths. And I will post their answer here? :) Deal?

Though, let me point out to you that the Hadiths that you quoted asked the individual to do the instakhara himself, but didn't prohibit asking someone else. Am I understanding it right?

Thanks once again for your input!

10

Sentinel, the sign, incidents you have mentioned above, after performing Istikhara. Can they occure even without Istikhara???

“na maiN* momin vich masiitaa*N, na maiN* muusaa, na fir'aun!”
*

11

ahmadjee,

[quote]
Though, let me point out to you that the Hadiths that you quoted asked the individual to do the instakhara himself, but didn't prohibit asking someone else. Am I understanding it right?
[/quote]

Although it has not been prohibited in this specific hadeeth, it does not mean it is allowable. This advice of the Prophet - salallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam - was given only to those who intend to undertake a matter. For example, there are several ahadeeth that state exactly how many units of prayer the Prophet - salallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam - performed during his daily prayers, while no prohibition is made against additional or sbtractial units. Now, if were to add extra units or shorten the prescribed prayers (for example, make the 4 units of Dhur into 2 or 6), then this would clearly not be accepted by Allaah (swt). Yet there is no prohibition of any sort made as you refered to above.

regards

12

Ali_R,

[quote]
Sentinel, the sign, incidents you have mentioned above, after performing Istikhara. Can they occure even without Istikhara???
[/quote]

Yes they can, but you will not know whether such signs are from Allaah - subhaan wa ta'aala - or from the evil whisperings and plots of shaytaan.

This is why it is important to carry out Istikhaarah, as advised by the Prophet - salallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam - as you shall then know that such signs can only be from Allaah Insha'Allaah ta'aala, and no other.

regards

13

[quote]
Do not insult a Religion, simply becuase you have no knowlede of it.
[/quote]

Sentinel,

I've read about turning to Allah in fear and hope, but not for each an every important decision in our life. If that were the case, Allah would have told us explicitly in his book that we are to consult him everytime we are going to make a tough decision.

So you think Istikhara, as the question was asked, is part of the religion??

[This message has been edited by PakistaniAbroad (edited November 07, 2001).]

14

http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/ok.gif

Islam doesn’t support priesthood (as in Christianity) so the idea of asking for somebody else to do istikhara in that light is wrong. Istikhara is not only for marriage purpose but for anything that a person is confused about and unable to make decision so he asks for help from Allah (swt) and acts upon accordingly.

You won’t necessarily see something in your dream or you may not be told but things will become easier for you (if they are good for you) and difficult (if they are bad for you).

15

khan_sahib,

[quote]
things will become easier for you (if they are good for you) and difficult (if they are bad for you).
[/quote]

Precisely! Masha'Allaah.

PakistaniAbroad,

[quote]
So you think Istikhara, as the question was asked, is part of the religion??
[/quote]

Is the Messenger of Allaah - salallaahu 'alayhi wa salam - a part of the Religion?

16

Sentinel,

I want to know that if we as humans have to consult with Allah on each and every decision we have to make, it seems significant enough to be in the Book. Yet, it's not. And Allah knows all and didn't miss anything from the Book which is COMPLETE and PROVIDES DETAIL.

[quote]
Perfected is the Word of thy Lord in truth and justice. There is naught that can change His words. He is the Hearer, the Knower (6:115)
[/quote]

The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) was only to deliver the Message.

[quote]
...... We have not sent thee as a guard over them. Thy duty is but to convey (the Message).......(4:44)
[/quote]

[quote]
Nothing is (incumbent) on the Apostle but to deliver (the message), and Allah knows what you do openly and what you hide.(5:99)
[/quote]

It was upto Allah to explain it and He has made it clear that the Qur'an is ALL we need.

[quote]
Shall I seek other than Allah for judge, when He it is Who hath revealed unto you (this) Scripture, fully explained? Those unto whom We gave the Scripture (aforetime) know that it is revealed from thy Lord in truth. So be not thou (O Muhammad) of the waverers. (6:114)
[/quote]

[quote]
If thou obeyedst most of those on earth they would mislead thee far from Allah's way. They follow naught but an opinion, and they do but guess. (6:116)
[/quote]

Even the Prophet PBUH cannot tell people to follow him and not Allah

Allah tells us that Prophets convey Allah's message and scriptures and instruct their people to only follow Allah's Book and study it themself.

[quote]
It is not (possible) for any human being unto whom Allah had given the Scripture and wisdom and the prophethood that he should afterwards have said unto mankind: Be slaves of me instead of Allah; but (what he said was): *Be ye faithful servants of the Lord by virtue of your constant teaching of the Scripture and of your constant study thereof * (3:79)
[/quote]

On the day of judgement, The Prophet (PBUH) will tell Allah that:

[quote]
And the Messenger will say, `O my Lord, my people indeed treated this Qur'an as a thing to be discarded.' (25:30)
[/quote]

Therefore my brother MY religion says to follow ALLAH's commands ONLY.

Your mileage may vary.

These are GOD's revelations that we recite to you truthfully. In which Hadith other than GOD and His revelations do they believe?(45:6)

[This message has been edited by PakistaniAbroad (edited November 07, 2001).]

17

PakistaniAbroad,

What Sentinal & others are trying to say is that 'it is not required' to do Istikhara in 'each & every' decision of one's life ... but is encouraged to do it at least before making major decisions!

I understand your point of view that if 'Istikhara' was to be such a big deal it would have been made mandatory in Quran.

18

To keep the record straight, let me narrate my personal experience that I mentioned earlier.

There were two prominent ‘ristas’ for my elder sister, which were being seriously considered. My parents, from their understanding chose one & my sister considered the other rista better because of her personal preference.

They both (parents & sister) were advised to do Istikhara but to no vain, as both were persistent on their inclinations. So, some of the elders of our family decided to ask one of respected members of the ‘baradary’ known for his piousness and true dreams, to do the Istikhara (or maybe prayers, but as far as I can remember he was asked for an Istikhara) Anyway, both my parents and my sister agreed that his decision will be considered final.

He was written a letter and after a few weeks he responded in favor of my parents wishes. My sister agreed. And now she is happily married, MashAllah!

About two years later it was revealed about the individual that my sister had initially chosen, that he was jailed in a corruption case and some other undesirable traits of his surfaced.

Now, this could have been a total coincidence, or that maybe the ‘buzurg’ didn’t do an Istikhara but a prayer ... :) I cannot deny that possibility.

And yes, for all my other siblings or cousins, they were asked themselves to do the Istikhara & keep praying and no third party was asked.

19

Hmmm

so here is a hypothetical situation. Lets say Guy A and Girl B are thinking about gettign married. Lets say they both do separate istikharas, and ones comes positive and the other’s negative, whats the dealio then?

Lets just say you actually had to deal with this situation, except that instead of GuyA and GirlB, two elders in the family did the Istikhara. Do we establish a whose istikahar is stronger, kinda like my daddy can beat up yer daddy. so my baba ji is more saintly so his istikhara is better than your baba ji who used to gamble and drink in his college days

http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/smile.gif

20

[quote]
Originally posted by ahmadjee:
** They both (parents & sister) were advised to do Istikhara but to no vain, as both were persistent on their inclinations. **
[/quote]

Personal preferences normally creates problems and should be avoided especially when one is looking for some direct help from Allah(swt).