Re: Istikhara for Marriage
i thought istikhara is when you have a neutral feeling and are confused about some event...the prayers would help you give you sign of positivity or negativity.
If you do like the guy, then pray to Allah that He make it happen only if it right for you, and if it isnt right for you then ask Him to make it easier for you to move on.
Re: Istikhara for Marriage
Well according to some replies here "Istikhara is asking goodness(khair) from Allah" and according to some replies here persons who are not practising Islam properly may not (cannot/should not?) ask for goodness from Allah?
Sounds a bit weird.
Anyhow for the OP, the best thing would be to involve your elders and ask him to involve his elders also if he is sincere. Whatever is stored for us in future is known only to Allah, we can only ask for his favour and blessings.
Re: Istikhara for Marriage
Are you willing to accept the result of Istekhara? Coz if you do it, its better to accept the result. Seems like you will have hard time accepting it if its negative?
Re: Istikhara for Marriage
I did ishtekhara once when I was really confused about a guy and he was always on my mind. I was reciting the prayer over and over again the whole day completely immersed in prayer while at work or at home and the next night I heard a huge knock on my bedroom door, obviously it was in my dream but it was so loud that I woke up and the next day my mom had broken her leg in the most painful way and it took her months to recover. I've never had such a strong dream where there was such a huge sign. The guy never responded back but there was one red flag that I kept overlooking with him but even with future rishtas, I'm scared to do Ishtekhara because of what happened with my mom.
Should I still do ishtekhara?
I haven't been very regular with my prayers so maybe I was being punished?
Aap tou kafi shoqeen lagtee hain…
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…istekhaaron kee, of course
Re: Istikhara for Marriage
^^ 
@GlobalGal I don’t think Allah would be punishing your mom like that. I am glad tho that you seem to show a bit of guilt for not praying enough.
Take this and turn into ammunition to pray regularly. Good luck 
^Aankhain roll kerne se pehlay istikhaara kya tha?
Re: Istikhara for Marriage
Well dua its self speaks what it is all about, just know the words of dua and have faith on it.
Re: Istikhara for Marriage
sorry, but can we keep this to my questions on istikhara - whether I read 1 namaz or 5 is my own thing and it is up to Allah to give me guidance if He wishes.
I just wanted to know what experiences others had
Yes of course you can decline to answer.
I merely wanted to understand what the process is and what the general public believes to be the process behind doing istikharas.
I totally get it that the Almighty may choose to guide whomever He wishes and however He wishes but I am also inclined to believe that if I wish to be guided through this method, then I am first obligated to fulfil my part of the bargain. Maybe it's just me and maybe I stand to be corrected (at least I hope that is the case), but I feel horrible asking Allah for something when I have not done His bidding.
"tie your camel then trust God to protect your camel"
it's true in other cases as well. in your case:
"do your home work then seek guidance/blessings through IstiKhaara"
remember one thing: ** istiKhaara is NOT a litmus test to help you make a 'RIGHT' decision. instead, istiKhaara is asking Allah for His "Blessings" in whatever decision you make [after doing your home work].**
i've seen people doing istiKhaara REPEATEDLY until they get a POSITIVE feeling about it.
one last thing:
as Muzna saaHiba indicated, you [NOT you in particular] just can't be living a life of a non-practicing Muslim and all of a sudden one fine morning you wake up in the morning and start doing istiKhaaraa because everyone else is doing it...it doesn't work that way.
you have to keep Allah pleased with you before you can even start expecting a favour from Him...it's ONLY fair!
Thanks for trying to explain but as you can see from my answer just above this quotation, I don't think that Allah's mercy looks to be fair. I'm pretty sure that there have been plenty times when I have not done what I was supposed to do and yet He was kind to me. Allah knows best.
Muzna ji, are you trying to equate faith with expression of faith?
No. Just trying to understand if others feel the same way I do.
Re: Istikhara for Marriage
If you've thoroughly checked the guy out and have discussed it with your family and all parties think nothing is wrong, then proceed with the shadi plans. If he's right for you, things will happen with ease. If he's not right for you, the marriage won't take place. Refer to the translation of the dua; it is a request to Allah to ACTUALLY remove something from your path if it's harmful for you or to MAKE it happen with ease if it's beneficial. The dua is not about seeing signs and omens, Bottom line, if it's good it'll happen. If it isn't it won't. And you won't know unless you proceed with the next step in the rishta process.
Re: Istikhara for Marriage
If u read the meaning of the istikhara dua then a lot of the guess work is simplified (as to how an istikhara works). U r simply asking Allah to choose for u what is best for u. If it is best for u then May Allah make it easy for u and if it is not best for u then May Allah take it away from u and replace it with something that is better. So u don't have to wait for a sign or a dream, but to let it unfold as it does. If He means for u to get married then it will happen and if not then not. So yes u do all ur background checks and what not, and maybe u find something that u can't compromise on or dislike enough to say no, and then that's ur istikharah answer right there. And otherwise everything goes smooth and u just get married and there's ur istikharah answer right there.
i didn't do istikharah for my marriage but my husband did it and my mom did it (I wasn't very well versed with it and I too thought that some random religious molvi is supposed to do it for u. That's not true though, because a well read religious uncle that we asked to do it for us explained that it doesn't work that way, and that it's better for the concerned parties or their families who r actually involved in the decision making process to do it, rather than some random uncle seeing a random dream and then saying yes or no) . Anyway, they did it And they both didn't see any dreams. And everyone just felt ok about it happening and it happened.
Another dua that my husband told me that he used to do (I don't think it's prescribed anywhere but just something that he would do) was that he would ask Allah that if we r good for each other in this life and the hereafter that we should get married. This one made me feel warm and fuzzy :). And I think it's a very good thing to ask for. Cuz u could be good for each other and compatible in this life but r u both going to push each other towards a stronger faith and the straight path, we don't know but we could certainly pray for it.
Re: Istikhara for Marriage
Here is a little bit of my wisdom on the question...if you benefit from it, its from Allah, otherwise its merely my personal opinion.
1) There are people I know who landed in a miserable marriage ending in divorce even though they did istikhara
2) There are thousands of people married happily life-long around the world who never did istikhara
3) Thirdly, Allah has blessed humans with special duas, prayers, special times, special days, special nights as best opportunities to draw near to Him and seek Him. Istikhara is one of those special gifts. If something must be in your fate, it must meet you in this life time. Any dua including istikhara can change fate. Only dua can. Which dua and whose dua, it is up to whim and wisdom of Allah alone
So with all these point, I think you are using istikhara as a tool. Istikhara doesn't guarantee a dream, and it doesn't guarantee anything accept when you move in one direction, you will ONLY continue in it with a settled feeling. If you are over analyzing and are simply irrationally cautious those are your own personal anxieties and istikhara can't solve that problem.
At the end of the day, trust your heart and intellect, and those of your other family members. It will either happen all the way or fall apart somewhere along the way. Take the step, do not linger in doubt. Doubt is from Shaytaan.
good luck
Re: Istikhara for Marriage
Here is a little bit of my wisdom on the question...if you benefit from it, its from Allah, otherwise its merely my personal opinion.
1) There are people I know who landed in a miserable marriage ending in divorce even though they did istikhara 2) There are thousands of people married happily life-long around the world who never did istikhara 3) Thirdly, Allah has blessed humans with special duas, prayers, special times, special days, special nights as best opportunities to draw near to Him and seek Him. Istikhara is one of those special gifts. If something must be in your fate, it must meet you in this life time. Any dua including istikhara can change fate. Only dua can. Which dua and whose dua, it is up to whim and wisdom of Allah alone
So with all these point, I think you are using istikhara as a tool. Istikhara doesn't guarantee a dream, and it doesn't guarantee anything accept when you move in one direction, you will ONLY continue in it with a settled feeling. If you are over analyzing and are simply irrationally cautious those are your own personal anxieties and istikhara can't solve that problem.
At the end of the day, trust your heart and intellect, and those of your other family members. It will either happen all the way or fall apart somewhere along the way. Take the step, do not linger in doubt. Doubt is from Shaytaan.
good luck
most reasonable and comprehensive response I've ever read on the matter of Istikhara.
thank you.
Re: Istikhara for Marriage
Here is a little bit of my wisdom on the question...if you benefit from it, its from Allah, otherwise its merely my personal opinion.
1) There are people I know who landed in a miserable marriage ending in divorce even though they did istikhara 2) There are thousands of people married happily life-long around the world who never did istikhara 3) Thirdly, Allah has blessed humans with special duas, prayers, special times, special days, special nights as best opportunities to draw near to Him and seek Him. Istikhara is one of those special gifts. If something must be in your fate, it must meet you in this life time. Any dua including istikhara can change fate. Only dua can. Which dua and whose dua, it is up to whim and wisdom of Allah alone
So with all these point, I think you are using istikhara as a tool. Istikhara doesn't guarantee a dream, and it doesn't guarantee anything accept when you move in one direction, you will ONLY continue in it with a settled feeling. If you are over analyzing and are simply irrationally cautious those are your own personal anxieties and istikhara can't solve that problem.
At the end of the day, trust your heart and intellect, and those of your other family members. It will either happen all the way or fall apart somewhere along the way. Take the step, do not linger in doubt. Doubt is from Shaytaan.
good luck
In addition dua e istikhara is not only for marriage, its for every thing whether its is job or divorce.