Re: Issue with fiance..
Ameen..... ^
Re: Issue with fiance..
Mentality difference…
Next time he says he will leave you, tell him do that if he calls himself a man.
Some guys take advantage of you. I came across one like that in my life. I mere told him that I could not marry him coz I do not feel for him the way I should and the way he feels for me. And believe me he hung up the phone saying he is going to shoot himself rite now. He not only hung up the phone but switched it off too. And I got sooooooooo worried and scared coz i thot he would really shoot himself. After an hour he switched on his cell but for first few calls he didnt pick up though it was ringing 
( i thot he has died already 
) But then suddenly he answered (must have thought enough of scaring the poor gal). I started apologizing n crying non stop. I mean i really thot he would kill himself and how could i have made myself responsible for someone’s death??? He told me he was having a fully loaded pistol rite infront of him… arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… now i m thinking what a fool I was. If today anyone say something like that to me, I swear I will break his nose with my bare hands. That whole nite. 5-6 hrs, i was continuously crying on phone and opologizing for nothing. I just told him the truth that I did not have any feelings for him … 
so thats how sometimes these guys take advantage of you. He too never ever listened to me though he was always wrong. He wanted to achieve his targets in life at any cost, by hook or crook. He knew all the illegal ways of getting things done. And I would object on that. That was the main reason I could not get along with him. I am fair person and i want a fair person for me. He even told me to do Nikaah without telling our families. Later we will tell at home n families will have no choice but to accept our marriage… it was the toughest phase in my life when i wanted to run from him and he was chasing me like a … whatever i dont use bad words.
Sorry i started my story here but beauty i dont know but your post reminded of that person. Coz I were in the same situation. Answering and giving explanation to him for every lil thing n he would get upset anway… small things would be a big issue…like Him: why are you in market at 9pm ??? Me: I had to pick up some grocerry, could not go earlier, came late from office etc. … Him: I guess you like to stay out at night. How many times I need to tell you not to go out after 7pm, i do not like it and you need to change urself. <<<<<< thats how he would treat me knowing very well that i was not the type of person who loves to do party outside all the time. I could nt make a signle friend here in 6 yrs. Still all that from him when we were not even engaged. I was not in Pak that i would understand his concern that its not good or kind of risky to stay out late evening. Here where I stay, there is alhamdulillah no such probs. I can say without any fear that UAE is one of the most safest places in world. There is no prob for a single gal to live here peacefully. No one can dare talk to you if you do not want to talk. I could not take that all with him and with greatttttttttttttt difficulty, we broke up at last .. 
Oh and beauty i am not telling you to break up , its pure your decision and your situation must be very different from mine. May be ur fiance is more sensible. I was just telling about my experience
Re: Issue with fiance..
FT, I'm glad your out of that mess and best of luck for the future.
BQ dear it seems like this guy is a control freak and you need to do something now before it gets worse. You can speak up now or put up with it for the rest of your life.
My friend was married to someone like that and it got to a point where she had no voice in the relationship. He would ridicule her for having an opinion on general things like politics/science etc. She paid for everything and looked after their daughter, he was very irresponsible. She left him after a few years and is happy/peaceful within herself.
Re: Issue with fiance..
Actually the thing which has made him upset with me is that I caught him flirting with a girl online!When I asked him about it,he got mad at it,and asked me that where's the trust if i keep spying on him or why did i ask him about it.Am i wrong here?:(
Actually the thing which has made him upset with me is that I caught him flirting with a girl online!When I asked him about it,he got mad at it,and asked me that where's the trust if i keep spying on him or why did i ask him about it.Am i wrong here?:(
Oh gwad...seriously there are so many fish in the sea! What on earth makes you hang on to a guy like this?
If you feel you have to keep checking up on him, then evidently it means that you are lacking confidence in him. If he is flirting with other girls, then let him do whatever gives him pleasure and you move on and enjoy your life.
Re: Issue with fiance..
fairy-tale
is it because of ur hetero sexual turn back you started advocating bi-sexual relationships
saateya naas
Re: Issue with fiance..
So should I break up with him ? :(
Re: Issue with fiance..
Have you talked to him? Like i mean full on talk about his actions and his rudness towards you?
HUn you have to take it step by step!
Re: Issue with fiance..
And it does not mean that he CAN'T change, but all this needs to happen NOW, not later when your stuck with him for life!
Re: Issue with fiance..
When i ask him to change, he seems to take it as an insult!
Re: Issue with fiance..
Okay you need to give me a little more, before I go too far into it!
Like what do you say to him that is such an ich and makes him mad?
WHat would you like to change in him?
^Keep in mind he is his own person, so respect that, but in a marriage you BOTH will have to sacrifice/change something.
Does he hurt your feelings, without realizing?
SO go into detail, and also if you can tell his side!
Re: Issue with fiance..
There's nothing much that I would like to see changed in him,except that he has a habit of sometimes flirting with girls online, which bothers me !
There's nothing much that I would like to see changed in him,except that he has a habit of sometimes flirting with girls online, which bothers me !
Nothing much? Eh?
Well then he sounds perfect and its all sorted then!
Re: Issue with fiance..
First of all, your fiancee sounds like an immature child, I am so sick of these desi mama's boys who have the maturity of a gnat and chale aate haiN shaadi karne. If he's acting this way NOW, can you imagine how poorly he will treat you a few years into your marriage?
Secondly, I'd be very concerned about an online relationship with another girl. Perhaps it's not too late to cut your losses?
Okay but that is a very small issue in the larger scale of a marriage. Look, you know abt him flirting, so it does not matter, since he is not trying to hide anything!
Now as for compromising:
Now marriages, CAN work even it they are one-sided, but those are not happy marriages! For a long, blessful, happy marriage you need two way communication. YOU can choose what you want for youself!
If you choose #2, its up to you to make him understand YOUR feelings. He CAN'T read your mind. Don't take this as any type of fight that you guys have had in the past, but as a pre marriage counselling session! Tell HIM to open up about things which bother him about YOU. YOU open up about things that bother you about HIM!
TAKE YOUR TIME IN:
- Making him understand you
- listening to him, and his feelings
Re: Issue with fiance..
^ I don't really think he is going to understand anything.Perhaps the only way i can avoid such issues,is not to ask him any such questions!
Re: Issue with fiance..
"If he is not gonna understand anything"
WHy are you with him??????
And, how can you avoide??? Are you gonna do that for the rest of your life too? <<<Fine with me but just asking, becuase then there is no need for this thread!
Re: Issue with fiance..
does he have this type of attitude?..casue then itll be sort of hard but not impossible to deal with him..
Re: Issue with fiance..
^ No, he isn't really such a type.He is actually sweet.But he gets mad when someone points fingers on anything that he does.He believes whatever he does,that's always right.
So what should be done ?:(
Call his bluff. If you want to talk, and he is not mature enough to handle and says he will break it off...tell him "fine". See what happens. He is not ready for marriage. What exactly DO YOU see in him, in this love marriage deal? Communication is a key aspect in any relationship.....if your not allowed to communicate how you feel...then what??