It seems there are only two people and one kid and is it that hard to cook for 2 people? Where the world is headed to?
Did you have this condition before marriage and did you not cook in your parents house as well before marriage?
If yes then you should have told your husband that cooking is not something that you will do.... if he was not told **explicitly **then you have cheated your husband by hiding your medical condition... may be not you but your family has.
Try to get medical help on your condition. how long would you carry on like this? I hope your husband will not think like you and will be willing to pay your medical expenses. It seems all he wants is a normal married life and he will help you to get it if you are willing to do your part.
And about going to your mums frequently, if your husband is not happy about these frequent visits then you should limit them. This is not like your previous home where your parents pampered you and listened to whatever you said.
Think about what you want.. happiness of your husband or carefree living?
*I do most of my cooking on the weekend. Once in a while I cook during the week but mostly all the cooking is done on the weekend. Husband helps with laundry. There are days when my husband will also make a dish. You two have work on being a team. If you are not working , obviously he will expect more from you but you have to figure out a way of scheduling yourself and managing your house. You have to learn to get things done with the baby. *
My dad lives close to us but we visit him only on weekends. Also, cooking doesn't mean that you have to be in front of the stove all day long. Make some compromise, you cook fresh salan but eat it with pita bread instead of fresh roti. Again you will have to work on making it a habit for your husband.
For your health conditions, are you consulting a doctor and getting treatment. Does your husband knows of your health conditions? Do you take him to the doctor for your appointments?
What are your hobbies? Put your baby in the stroller and go out for a walk or walk/drive to your nearest library? Make a schedule for baby's sleep time, play time, bath time, eating time (i suppose your baby is on solids now).
Ok come on.. she's already said her husband wants fresh food everyday, so obviously she can't do things like make it all on the weekend. It also sounds like he doesn't help around the house. I read somewhere that one of your things is that you won't make roti. I know plenty of families where this just wouldn't be acceptable. I am not criticising you, just pointing out that others may be under different expectations.
We can manage all kinds of difficult situations with support. For the wife that has a very demanding husband who does not help out, her life might be more difficult than someone with more children but a more supportive husband who helps out and doesn't mind if there isn't fresh roti salan every single day. The OPs situation may not be that bad but it does sound like she is doing things.
You can chop your vegetables in your lounge and 'talk' to your baby at the same time, you could then cook when the baby is asleep. It's all about time management, leave the meat out to 'thaw' the night before. If you cook early in the day you can rest/nap in the afternoon with your baby.
I am not saying her life is easy, if you read my post, you will also see that I said she and her husband need to work on being a team. That means both should should meet each others expectations somewhere in the middle. How she is going to get his support is something that she needs to figure out. If that means he helps her in the kitchen while cooking or cleaning up afterwards, or agreeing to a days old food...I don't know.
And yes, I don't make roti and we have come to compromise regarding that, oh and he knew that before we got married. However, I do try my best to make him dishes that he enjoys.
Ask him to help u with the cooking :)... Me and my hubby both work fulltime (he works 40 hrs and i 36 hrs a week). From day one he wanted fresh food, but cuz of our work routine it gets difficult at times to manage a hot meal daily. What i do now is make sure the veggies are cut in the morning.
As soon as we get home (round 17.00 pm) he gets his cup of tea and i start preparing the meal. I hate raw meat, so that's his department.. i ask him to cut it a night before mostly and put it in the freezer so the next day it only needs to get defrozen).
He always helps with making the salads or side dishes and by 18.00 dinner is ready and this way we have more time together...
Ur a housewife right now right? So plan the cooking process over the day? devide it during the day so that you can have ur rest, time with ur baby and this way you won't stand continuously near the stove.
As for visiting your mum twice a week. Ask her to come over at ur place one week and you can go the other week to her.
I am living in Dubai, I also have baby 2 years old mashahallah , I cook daily fresh food. Cleaning, washing laundry each n every house hold stuff. N In Dubai, it's very easy send our clothes to laundry it's not even expensive you can hire maid very easily, I know so many ladies here who have maids.
when my baby was young I also had sweeper for cleaning , now I do everything myself to kill time n keep myself busy. The health issues you mentioned I don't think so they should effect cooking or any other house hold stuff. Consult your doctor take your huby wth you, n if something stops you from cooking ask your doc o explain it to your huby
I also have a condition that makes its very hard to work in hot places (heat rash/heat related allergies)... I still cook almost everyday. I just take my medicines and take care of my health for my husband and for my kid. There is no way I can't do this. I am married and part of my responsibility is to take care of my family.
Whatever your age is 20... 25...35.. you are married and you have people who depend on you. Don't escape from your responsibilites. Find a way that will work for you and make your life and his life easier.
@ iconoclast my sister does the same and her husband does not has any issue
To all others i have seen to many doctors but they all say there is no medicine you just have to stay away from those things that make it worse and causes it for anemia i take medicine for it.
I think majority of the people in this thread missed her post where she said that she cooks every other day and freezes it for days she doesn't cook. BUT her husband wants fresh food everyday :/
Cooking every other day is still A LOT of cooking! Who cooks every day anyway? Not me lol.
She's home from her parents home before her husband comes home, why is he making a fuss over nothing?
i think your husband wont have an issue if you do some house work when you are at home, may be you do some but apparently husband tinks you dont. try changing your husband perception about you or change your attitude.
waisay, going to parents home is not a big issue, if he is making one, why dont you stop going for 2 weeks or so.go after every month, ask you mother to come at your place weekly when your husband is not home and cook food for you.
May be you are not trained for ghardari and that is where the issue is.
None of us were trained in ghardari. We are all learning it as ee arr going through it. What she needs is working on her husband being more cooperative and supportive of her.
Oh by the way what you can do is cook your protein for 2 dinners, serve 1/2 on the day you have made and freeze the other 1/2. 3 days later, defreeze it, add some veggies to it and you have a new dish. Don't tell your husband the meat was cooked 3 days back. As far as you have it defrosted, heated with a new addition before he gets home, he will never know if it was old. Whenever I have a day old chicken salan, I cook rice in it, you don't have to cook chicken from scratch, you utilize the chicken by turning it into a new dish. This way, you won't be in front of the stove all the time but will be able serve a relatively new salan/dish.
I think the husband is not being very understanding. Health issues aside, a baby is a huge drain on time and energy. When my son was around that age I had days where I would literally get through the whole day on a couple of biscuits because there was just no time to get anything else. i also had no help, my mum lives in another counrty and MIL incapable due to health problems. It was really tough. My hubby is understanding though so we would order a lot, or he would cook.
Since you are going to your mum's so often, why not ask her to cook for you and bring it home to freeze? Alternatively, during baby's nap times, clean and chop the vegetables you need to prepare your meal. I work full time, but it's even more work with a toddler around so this is something I still do. I try to plan ahead as much as possible and prepare my vegetables. You can slice all the onions in a food processor and freeze them, for example. Also, a pressure cooker and rice cooker will save you a ton of time. Curry and rice in just 20 minutes all in.
You are very very young and I think the responsibility is overwhelming you. If at all possible, arrange for your husband to be all alone with the baby for a day , or a couple of hours. He'll soon understand. I have a friend who did this, left her complaining hubby with the baby for a day and when he came back he very quietly admitted he was wrong to demand so much of her and hadn't realised how much work a baby involved.
Hubby thinks that its just mothers work to take care of baby and hubby just plays with baby and no other responsibility is his. So i cant go anywhere or do something. That is why i go to my home because mom looks after baby and i can get some time for myself.
If i say him anything he says i have very useless thoughts.
In short mai bakwas ker re ho.
I think majority of the people in this thread missed her post where she said that she cooks every other day and freezes it for days she doesn't cook. BUT her husband wants fresh food everyday :/
Cooking every other day is still A LOT of cooking! Who cooks every day anyway? Not me lol.
She's home from her parents home before her husband comes home, why is he making a fuss over nothing?
Adorlove, your husband needs to grow up.
exactly my thoughts !
Adorlove , since it's a marriage & one needs to do some compromise & adjustments to keep things peaceful I would suggest you to cut down visits to your mom's house to 1 from 2 I am quote sure this will make him HAPPY ! as I feel that more than the cooking issue he has a problem with u going to your mom's place.
While some ppl can some ppl cannot manage cooking everyday with a small baby.
If i say him anything he says i have very useless thoughts.
In short mai bakwas ker re ho.
If this is true I'd say he is very very rude and arrogant. He really needs to learn how to respect other people's opinions and above all he should learn to respect his wife / mother of his child.