Hi! I am posting here for the first time. I am 20 and my hubby is 27 years old we have been martied now for a year and a half we have a baby boy who is 7 months old.
I need some advise on this me and my hubby live alone his family is in pakistan my family is in dubai we live in dubai
Firstly i often dont cook at home because i have some health issues and now due to baby i am not able to cook. He has issues on this and we often have fights regarding this.
Secondly he has issues ob me going to my moms home every week. Since i have got baby i go to my moms home every week for 2 days so that i get some rest but he doesnt likes it. He says me to go just once in a month to my moms home. Its like he says understand your responsibility you are a wife and a mother now. Blah blah
How can i manage things and explain him?
How do you guys manage time?
How many times do you go to your moms hone?
I have to agree wth your huby, we don't have families living wth us in same country but we are managing home n baby also, n you need rest every week ????
I have problem from heat if i stay near heat for long time i get sick and i faint.
My sisters are married and my mom lives with my dad so there is no one who can come but i go and stay there.
Your hubby is right. That's all I can say.
You should limit your visits to your mom's house. 2 days a week.. isn't that too much. You are now married and you have your own house, your own family to look after. I can't imagine staying with my parents for more then 2 weeks each year.
You can try to keep a fan or something in the kitchen when you cook. You can't ignore your responsibilites.
agree with your hubs, what's stopping you from cooking at home? also if you guys live in the same city to be honest why do you need to go stay for 2 days a week? why cant she come stay with you? 8 days a month, yeah hubs and home can be neglected coz of this.......maybe limit it to one day a week...and get her to come over more often..
I understand my responsibilities but i go to my moms home when he is not here with me he is out for work. I do rest all work leaving cooking.
@ spiral can i ask you one thing if you dont mind
How do you live all day @ home?
What activities do you do to pass your time?
1) So when you go to your mom's house for 2 days, are you only going during the daytime and back home by the time your husband gets home? Or are you staying at your mother's house overnight so your husband's doesn't see you and the baby for 2 days?
2) Did you/your family make your husband aware of your health issues before marriage and that this would prevent you from cooking?
3) How many days each week do you actually cook? And what do you do on days when there's no cooking?
4) Is hiring part-time help not an option? Someone who can come for a few hours 2-3x/week and help you cook/watch the baby so you can get a break?
I just go when hubby is not home when he is back before that i make sure i am back home.
He knew about my health issues.
I cook leaving a day and freeze the food for next day but he wants fresh food each day. My elder sister goes to office. Second one is a dentist so none of them can come up to help me.
Cooking dosen't mean u hv to stand continusly over stove/heat,you hv to take care of ur family no one else will come to feed you,ur hubby n ur baby u hv to do that on ur own otherwise things will get worse,do to a doctor take some medicine for anemia it's not uncommon for a women to hv anemia,you can't hv takeaway everyday! I hope u make something for ur baby too...sisterly advice get a hold of ur house own it.
I wanted to add.....I have a khala who has albinism. She's currently in her early 50's and has had it since she was in college. To my knowledge, having this condition has never prevented her from cooking or doing other household work any differently than what my mom and other khala's do. Would you mind explaining a little more on exactly how this condition is preventing you from cooking? I know this puts you at a higher risk for other health issues....so is there something else going on?
As for the anemia....Are you receiving treatment for this by a qualified medical doctor?
Thanks for answering my q's. So how many days a week do you cook fresh food?
I understand that your sisters work full-time. I was referring to actually hiring a part-time maid/nanny who can also assist with some cooking 2-3x/week. Being from the U.S., I'm not all that familiar with Dubai culture but I'm wondering why this isn't an option.
I have a 5 month old, I work and takecare of my house aswell. Why can't you do things around the house withthe baby?
Same here
@ lusi how do you manage to do work?
@ paheli could you message me?
Adorlove, it's not as hard as you are making it out to be. I had 3 kids in less than two years (my elder son first, and then twin boys before he turned 2 years old) and I did all the housework, cleaning and cooking myself.
My mother lived less than 10 minutes away from my house, and I can count on one hand the times I went to stay at her house. Did my mom help out by sending food over from time to time? Absolutely! Did I have help from her in babysitting when I needed to run an errand? You bet! But I did all the housework and cared for my children and husband by myself. My husband really helped a lot after the twins were born and we supported each other. That's what marriage is, a partnership! Maybe if you take more interest in running your home, you'll see your husband pitching in to lend a hand when he can.
With one baby, you and your husband, it's not that much work that you can't handle it yourself.
Was this a love marriage? you are 20, and you have a baby, and several health problems... why did u get married so young? Both ur sisters are working women, they are married. You should ask them for advice.
Did ur hubby know you werent going to cook all the time?
Maybe you can bake something on the days you dont want to cook... That way you wont have to stand in front of the heat for a long time. You just pop it in the oven and check occasionally.
Or make something relatively easy or quick. Like have some kabobs ready in the freezer that you can fry on the daus you dont feel well. You could make shrimpd because the cooking time is less than beef. make vegetables.... They dont take as long to cook. Butter chicken is another quick thing you could make. Use a pressure cooker.
You only need to cook for two people, it is not hard at all! U can eat the frozen food but just be creative about feeding your hubby.
STOP going to ur moms house twice a week if it bothers ur hubby. What is preventing ur mom from visiting u?
If you have a health condition, and still manage to cook, your husband is being very ungrateful imo for asking for fresh food everyday. Its not your job and you still are doing it despite your health problem, along with a 7 month old; this man needs a reality check.
Secondly; going to your mums for two days/wk when hes not at home shouldnt even be an issue. If the work is done, and you are back before he is, then its simply an ego/control issue for him. He needs another dose of reality.
I do most of my cooking on the weekend. Once in a while I cook during the week but mostly all the cooking is done on the weekend. Husband helps with laundry. There are days when my husband will also make a dish. You two have work on being a team. If you are not working , obviously he will expect more from you but you have to figure out a way of scheduling yourself and managing your house. You have to learn to get things done with the baby.
My dad lives close to us but we visit him only on weekends. Also, cooking doesn't mean that you have to be in front of the stove all day long. Make some compromise, you cook fresh salan but eat it with pita bread instead of fresh roti. Again you will have to work on making it a habit for your husband.
For your health conditions, are you consulting a doctor and getting treatment. Does your husband knows of your health conditions? Do you take him to the doctor for your appointments?
What are your hobbies? Put your baby in the stroller and go out for a walk or walk/drive to your nearest library? Make a schedule for baby's sleep time, play time, bath time, eating time (i suppose your baby is on solids now).